Duh is the New Sexy: “About Cherry” (2012)


        “About Cherry”  (2012)

In days of old, the pastor, priest or conveniently situated village moral wag would extend the quivering finger of damnation at those to whom the communal boundaries of decency were found to be disrupted through alarming breaches of acceptable conduct. Nowadays, Civilization may take comfort that the tradition of condescending damnation by way of self-appointed moral superiority has been rejuvenated by that most unlikely of suitably qualified candidates: Hollywood (or, more accurately, the independent filmmaking community), whose occasional acknowledgement of its “unclean” idiot cousin from the seamy Valley, of late, appears to generate a surprisingly sympathetic dimestore philosophical view on the subject of the professional sex worker. However credible Tinseltown’s moral posturing is on any subject, the prevailing viewpoint now expressed indicates a redirection from dismissal and condemnation to a more empathetic gaze; an unexplained, antithetical reversal from moral immoderacy to blind altruistic acceptance brought on by an intellectually lackadaisical extension of political correctness.  Equally curious is the concurrent attitudinal shift resulting in the subsequent elevation of the denizens of the porn industry (inexplicably portrayed here as morally superior and enjoying greater emotionally stability) and a devaluation of the remainder of the human population; an abstractive nobility of ideals suddenly finds itself an unlikely bedfellow with the ignobility of exhibitionistic action.

Somewhat hypocritically, this sugar coated aggrandizement of the “adult” industry is merely a cosmetic application of high-minded tolerance that sounds edifying in press releases but does little to explain why such liberality does not extend to real-life participation of genuine porn “talent” (that which might exist) within the lofty gates of Hollywood studio productions (in non-sexual roles or otherwise, [see “Inside Deep Throat”]), nor has there been any movement toward that once predicted bridge between mainstream commercial cinema and explicit sexual content. If anything, the move to a greater immaturity in subject matter, especially toward film explorations of adult themes. which might find even a modest interpolation of sexually graphic content (not necessarily hardcore) thematically contributory, have been virtually erased within the confines of the  mainstream corporate system, contributing to the continuing stunting of the evolutionary advancement of the art form through an insatiable economic appetite catering to the celebration of the infantile.

To read the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/cinesinema/

Posted in erotica, Film, movie sequels, Movies, pornography, Reviews, sex, women, writing | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Smeared: “Lipstick” (1976)


COME HITHER: Is this the face that launched a thousand criminal impulses? That and a thousand other questions will find no solution in the loathsome”Lipstick”.

       “LIPSTICK”     (1976)

What is it about certain truly bad movies and their ability to provoke heated (as opposed to passionate) and angry (as opposed to intelligent) argumentation (as opposed to debate) in a way that few exceptional films lend to similar occasions of provocation?  Such an example of a cinematic offering  examining legitimately provocative themes in an illegitimate manner-  befitting the perspective of a sexual predator  -is Lamont Johnson’s infuriatingly prurient 1976 film “Lipstick”; the boundaries of  film’s thematic pop culture psychological entanglement, crossing from the subliminal to the consciously overt, becomes the excuse for a not so thinly veiled lipstickOSexercise in unbridled misogyny masquerading as a social statement. In that regard, it might be a generally useful caveat to beware of films which include empowered female legal representatives, whose sole function is to accommodate the appetites of indignant righteousness, as they are usually included only as an excuse for the filmmakers to then feel the justification to exploit the most rancid, salacious aspects of their subject with a self-endorsement of enlightened impunity. It’s shameless exploitation under the guise of high-minded righteousness.

For a film which eventually reveals to have little on its mind, it asks a great deal from its audience, raising provocative issues which it’s not prepared to accommodate; for instance, the possibility of a connective catalyst existing between the industry of seductive, sexually charged imagery in high fashion glamour and an unintended response in the form of desirous action to that stimulus; touching upon a popular psychological excuse for aberrant, extreme (usually violent) social behavior, though disclaiming any genuine insight nor willingness to consider the any contemplation beyond the most shamelessly convenient which allows for the most profane exploitation of the lead actress, debuting  model Margaux Hemingway (grand-daughter of the literary Papa) and, even more revoltingly, her real-life younger sister Mariel, here playing fictional siblings who are menaced both by the same predatory character.

To read the complete review, click the following link to: https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/nights-at-the-coolidge-corner-theatre/


Posted in movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, sex, women, writing | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

A View From the Dark: Movie Freak by Owen Gleiberman

A View From the Dark: Movie Freak by Owen Gleiberman

The appetite publishers seem to have for printing the memoirs of even the most irrelevant movie personalities appears insatiable; so much so that in recent years this pseudo-gossipy, trivially anecdotal framework extends even to that most unlikely denizens of the cinema celebrity circus, the movie critic. If most biographies of writers seem perfunctory at best and redundantly irrelevant at their worst (why not read the author’s work and let them speak for themselves?), then a personal exploration into the life and times of the movie critic might find a particularly prominent position on the dais of the useless, for if one wishes to penetrate the individual critic’s mind, would not the best method be to read a collection of their opinions? That is, unless the writings of the critic were deemed unenlightening, or, worse yet, insincere.

Nowhere within the pages of Owen Gleiberman’s memoirs, appropriately titled Movie Freak is there a convincing argument for the necessity of the book. There are the usual accumulated influences which percolate in forming a person’s thoughts and aspirations, including a pronounced lifelong schism with his pathologically dispassionate father and intellectually stifled mother, which are rich in the pain such emotional remoteness can instill in a child of any age.

To read the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/the-hollywood-bookshelf/

Posted in biography, book reviews, books, Culture, Drive-In Movies, Entertainment, movie reviews, Reviews, writing | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Build the Wall: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2017 Edition, Vol. 1812

Build the Wall: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2017 Edition, Vol. 1812

Walls are structural. Walls are decorative. It seems that, lately, talk of building walls has become in vogue, as the attractiveness of just thinking about constructing barriers useful in keeping out undesirables (Alec Baldwin comes to mind) gets the old patriotic blood kicking with a full foamy head of adrenaline. In this spirit we present this month’s edition of the most feared propaganda weapon against North Korea (go ahead and shoot Fat Boy, it’s only California), the Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you this month by the makers of SKITTLESAmerica’s favorite fruity dietary supplement. In this edition we celebrate the wall and its timely and fortunate appearances in film. The following twelve images are taken from movies which importantly feature a wall. Simple enough. As is the selection of stills which have been carefully chosen for their ease of identification. (Happy summer!) The first 1776 to correctly identify all twelve images will receive the coveted CSR Culture Shock Award, flash frozen for healthy consumption for up to twenty five years. Good luck.













Posted in books, espionage, History, horror, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Musicals, Mystery, Reviews, women, writing | 4 Comments

Summer Beach Books: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, June 2017 Edition, Vol. 925

Summer Beach Books:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, June 2017 Edition, Vol. 925

At the dawn of the upcoming summer vacation season, it can never be too early to begin the selection process in making seasonal selections of those printed items which tell stories about people other than ourselves (yes Snowflakes, there really is an entire universe outside of the reach of your selfie sticks!), to be enjoyed while carelessly lolling on the sandy beaches of the resort world’s  to the financial benefit of dermatologists around the globe. We are, of course, talking about books, and more specifically books that find happy recommendation for beach reading. However, rather than the usual franchise potboilers, tawdry romances or celebrity tell alls (which, ironically, usually spend a great deal of time identifying just who the hell they are and why they imagine we should care), we are taking this occasion to exalt the merits of those timeless works of literature which have found popular representation in both comic and cinematic forms. Which, not so coincidentally, brings us to the theme of this month’s edition of America’s most fascinating source of cultural, political, religious and existential confusion, the monthly Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you today by the dedicated people who strive, despite progressive lefty interference, to bring the Free World SKITTLES, America’s favorite non-genetically altered breakfast candy. In this edition we celebrate those film which have found inspiration from some of the greatest and most enduring written works known to all but the current crop of collegiate parasites, with an emphasis on those works which have also been popularly represented by the Classics Illustrated Comics series. Your job is to identify the films from which the following twelve images have been taken. The first to successfully complete this task will receive the highly respected CSR Culture Shock Award, good for three nights free stay at the Gulag of your choice. Good luck.













Posted in book reviews, books, Boston, comic books, History, horror, movie reviews, Movies, Mystery, Reviews, Romance, theater, women, writing | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Poe in the Cinema: “The Oblong Box” (1969)


         “The Oblong Box”  (1969)

      Gordon Hessler’s “The Oblong Box” is a tepid and dishonest attempt at a continuation of American International’s ongoing Edgar Allan Poe inspired series of films which began with Roger Corman’s 1959 “House of Usher”, though the film’s interpolated voodoo elements have nothing to do with the author’s story (frankly, nor do any of the film’s story elements), where even the most cursory examination of the oblongboxOSproduction discloses the mere use of the 1844 short story’s title as an excuse to lay claim to an associative thread. The marketing department’s claim of the film representing a Poe tale of “the living dead” is a complete fabrication, though certain to be sending impressionable novice Poe enthusiasts back to the original story which is bound to not only confound expectations but unjustly disappoint the reader searching for a material remotely similar to the supposed film representation, quite clouding the achievements of one of Poe’s lesser known but more accessible tales of the macabre. This last description may also incorrectly categorize the story as having characteristic elements of grotesquerie- the central mystery as to the purpose and contents of the “oblong box” may yield such suspicions, though the denouement reveals such presumptions to be in error, as the story’s true core is more in concert with the author’s tragic lamentations of the obsessively felt loss of an all-consuming love equally expressed in the poems The City in the Sea, Annabel Lee and The Raven rather than a story commensurate with the lurid aspects of Grand Guignol. One can only imagine the apoplectic reaction at the exploitation minded AIP to a suggestion they produce a an unmotivated series of Poe movie purely- even with the retention of its central mystery intact  -lodged in the realm of romantic longueur! Also, given the propensity for increased- and often unmotivated- save for gratuitous effect  -graphic violence and nudity in the series, especially in vehicles which have equally feeble association with Poe’s work, despite the possessive marketing claims (“The Conqueror Worm”, “Cry of the Banshee”). it became a certainty that whatever form the project was to take, the inclusion of such gratuity would be part of the unfaithful filmization. These exploitative elements are particularly glaring in “The Oblong Box” as they tend to arise involving peripheral characters who bear little to no importance to the film. Indeed, the newly minted narrative credited to Lawrence Huntington and Christopher Wicking is little more than a derivative excuse for a series of unmotivated murders, all depicted without any sense of mystery and not a whit of suspense. Seldom have so many suffered for so little effect.

To view the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/now-playing-at-the-mercado-cinema/ 

Posted in books, Edgar Allan Poe, horror, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, Roger Corman, short stories, vincent price, writing | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

мать, Mayday I?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz; May 2017 Edition; Vol. 80 proof

мать, Mayday I?:  Classic Film Images Photo       Quiz; May 2017 Edition; Vol. 80 proof

     Greetinks Komrades. Admittedly it was a difficult task to conceive of, compile and complete this month’s edition of Amerika’s favorite non-nuclear capitalist defensive weapon, the monthly Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, as the antennae of paranoid suspicion unleashed, first by an unhinged- but unnamed, as we’d like to think that chivalry has not expired  -former first lady and presidential candidate whose pathological refusal to admit  to her many, many…. many (many) flaws (and her injudicious use of witchcraft) aroused disappointed believers (though still not Bill) to explain the collapse of her false divinity, has created the world’s greatest fictitious mole hunt. Suddenly there have emerged more red herrings and incidents of Red Baiting since the Cold War. Seldom has reason and common sense been so mislaid in a squalid and selfish attempt at face saving while risking a hotbed (miraculously Bill-free) of diplomatic instability in the process. (Perhaps… a Re-re-set button is in order?) Now, what does any of this have to do with this month’s edition of Pravda’s most admired brain buster, the Classic Film Images Photo Quiz? (Brought to you, as always, by those fine importers of SKITTLES, America’s most addictive over-the-counter, breakfast candy) Actually, not a helluva lot, but any attempt to sow the seeds (oddly, still not Bill’s) of confusion among the literary set is a day well spent. In any case, in this edition, we celebrate those most offended of world companions (currently anyway), the Russians. The following twelve images depict a film in which a Russian character is prominent. Your job is to ferret out the interloper of Democratic e-mail security and to report your findings to the Central Committee and CSR. The first to do so will receive the coveted CSR Culture Shock Award, good for a free weekend stay at the gulag of your choice. Good luck.













Posted in biography, books, Cold War, comedy, dance, Film, History, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Mystery, politics, Reviews, Romance, women, writing | Leave a comment

Are Those Odor Eaters Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?; Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, April 2017 Edition, Vol. 46%

Are Those Odor Eaters Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?; Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, April 2017 Edition, Vol. 46%

    Being that films are occasionally regarded as “motion” pictures, it seems reasonable that in bringing a beloved monthly institution to realization, one might avail one’s self to use materials which portray those occasions when the static camera comes alive and follows the pseudo-sapien subject (actor, in layman’s parlance) in the act of physical exertion. (and we aren’t even referencing the redoubtable, highly persecuted [ Just Ask Her!] and honorifically overindulged [Just Ask CSR!] La Diva Streep, who might be tormented by circumstances which would demand of her to actually lift the champagne flute to her own pampered maw.) In this instance we are talking about the activity of running… or the foot chase… or the hot-footed pursuit… or the… well, you get the idea. And with this noble purpose in mind, we proudly introduce this month’s edition of America’s most challenging waste of time, the monthly Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you be the folks who make and distribute SKITTLES, America’s most beloved breakfast appetizer. In this edition, we focus on running in films, either in an individually memorable sequence or as a contributory basis of a major thematic element. The following twelve pictures each feature a scene from a film in which the act of putting one foot in front of the other at an accelerated pace is either in effect, implied or has or will be acted upon. (You think it’s easy coming up with this twisted nonsense?) The first to identify all twelve films from which the images were surgically (and painfully, truth be told) removed will received that most valued yet disposable (irony, ain’t it a hoot?) of prizes, the CSR Culture Shock Award. Good luck.














Posted in books, crime, Film, horror, humor, Jim Brown, movie reviews, Movies, Mystery, Reviews, westerns, women | 1 Comment

If I Fell: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz; March 2017 Edition, Vol. 543210

fell0If I Fell: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz; March 2017 Edition, Vol. 543210

    If life teaches us anything, it is that gravity is not our friend (neither are silly award show envelope fumbling accountants [Fake News Encounters of the Streepian Kind] nor certain Massachusetts senators of the female persuasion for whom the idea of a daily dose of a knapsack full of Prozac might be a practical idea), as it is an uncooperative force of nature, especially when you find your bowl of soup slopping all over that nice clean pair of spats. Still, the very existence of Newton’s Law of Universal Gravitation (Written subsequent to his Law of Unentitled Gratification, which states: “never take ‘personal’ reverse mortgage advice from a celebrity shill whose own annual income exceeds eight figures”) which persists in allowing deplorable oak trees to bounce acorns off of your beanie, is enough to make one presume partisan Divine intervention (Though, surely, there must be some Minority Leader Munchausen Chorus who insist upon a conspiratorial link within the fictitious but still highly Rosie-flammable Russian/Trump/Wolf connection), unless one is ready to concede the existence of a vast cadre of malicious squirrels who make sport of bombardier targeting the human cranium. With this in mind, we present this month’s edition of America’s favorite deregulated pastime, the Classic Film Images Photo Quiz,fellgif brought to you by those fascinating folk who sell and distribute nickel bags of SKITTLES, America’s most addictive breakfast candy. In this edition we celebrate (or, at least, find an excuse for another puzzle comprised of stills with a suspiciously shallow connection) the physical act of uncontrollably moving rapidly in southern direction in the movies. The following twelve images each feature a cinema scene in which the featured player is in the act of, precipitating the act of, or reacting to the act of falling, with subsequent results ranging from a boo boo to a crushing cessation of the vitals. (Curtains, pal.) Your job, is to create imaginary chalk outlines around the characters and  swiftly, cleanly and painlessly identify from which twelve films these images have been lifted. The first to correctly identify all twelve will receive the gluten free CSR Culture Shock Award, more prized than any Chinese endangered species-based aphrodisiac, and without the vulgar aftertaste. Good luck.














Posted in books, comedy, Film, History, Hitchcock, horror, humor, movie reviews, Movies, politics, religion, Reviews, women, writing | 2 Comments

Dangerous Dames: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Feb. 2017, Vol. 36-24-36

dames33Dangerous Dames: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Feb. 2017 Edition, Vol. 36-24-36

     “Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble”: resounds the infamous witch’s incantation exemplified by the vomitable vaudeville warblings currently on display by the intellectually challenged trio of Beltway harridans who have become the new Age of Non-Reason’s congressional equivalent of the Andrews Sisters by way of the Antichristess: Waters-Pelosi-and Warren. This bleating triumvirate of Hillarytown’s morally abortive scrapings cannot help but conjure a reexamination of every guy’s periodically contemplated inquiry: no, not Why Can’t a Woman Be More Like A Man?, but, What’s the Deal?: or, is there any more misunderstood, contradictory, frustrating example of the female of the species than women? (Huh?) The current hysterical clarion call for lunatic militant sisterhood (Ashley Judd and Madonna in 2020!) flies in the face of more realistic (and traditional) catty internecine infighting among the “gentler” sex which more often than not rejects an individual’s ideal of happiness and accomplishment for a forcibly unified gender coalition eschewing nice for (according to Her Squawness Liz Warren)damesgif1 “nasty” as the new accepted version of the “Yes we can”/Rosie the Riveter pioneering spirit, though in a new philosophical incarnation whose sole purpose seems, not the advancement of the fairer gender, but the rusty bladed emasculation of both “uncooperative” women and the contemporary class of pasty androgyny (the Schumer factor) which occasionally identifies itself (on those rare occasions when they display any spinal fortitude) as Men. With this in mind, we present this month’s episode of America’s most divisive yet endearing game of wits, the Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you by those good folks who regularly prescribe SKITTLES, America’s favorite nutritional supplement. In this edition we celebrate cinema personifications of those soft and sensitive kittens who just happen to be uncomfortably familiar with impulses and instincts less than pure, and more comfortable with the criminally unhinged. The first to correctly identify all thirteen will be the proud recipient of the ticklish CSR Culture Shock Award, satisfying difficult to please women since just prior to Hawaiian statehood. Good luck.














Posted in books, crime, Film, film noir, horror, humor, movie reviews, Movies, politics, Reviews, women, writing | 1 Comment

Time is a Cruel Mistress: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Jan. 2017 Edition, Vol. 1812

time3Time is a Cruel Mistress: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Jan. 2017 Edition, Vol. 1812

    One of the odd paradoxes occurring with each New Year’s holiday is the assertion that it is a year later, when in fact it is merely the passing of a single day. It all depends on your point of view. The confusion may arise due to excessive alcohol consumption or perhaps, as a consequence of an insatiable need that some social misfits seem to have to fashion their appearance with unwieldy neon eye wear in the shape of the emerging calendar year while standing in a frozen celebratory square best characterized by the combined aromatics of body odor and urine. However, the question is that of time, its proper measuring and the use with which the sentient individual makes of it. Time can be wasted. Time can be marked. Time is also money; calculable on an instrument as basic as a Timex (“takes a licking and keeps on ticking”, bragged John Cameron Swayze, though the same claim quite possibly have been similarly made about legendary adult film star Vanessa Deltimegif Rio) or as needlessly excessive as a Rolex (the question arises: does one need a timepiece which will endure nine atmospheres if one’s Spring jaunt to the planet Jupiter has been postponed?). And with this bit of introductory hokum, we, once again, present yet another in the never-ending series of mind bender commonly referred to as the Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you this month by those lugubrious folks who advertise and market SKITTLES, America’s most nutritious breakfast candy. In this edition, we address the filmic concept of time; its nature, its length and its relativity, especially how it stands still during visits from unwelcome in-laws. Each of the following twelve images is a scene from a film in which time is a major factor. Your job is to identify the twelve films and report your findings to the proper authorities: reporting back here might be a good suggestion, but if you also wish to bug the switchboards at the executive offices of the ACLU and the DNC, go to town. The first to correctly identify all twelve will receive the impeccably coiffed CSR Culture Shock Award, the world’s only irony-free cultural bestowal. Good luck.













Posted in book reviews, books, Boston, Film, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Puzzles, Reviews, Romance, women | 1 Comment

The Gift That Keeps On Giving: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2016 Edition, Vol. 241

xdec1The Gift That Keeps on Giving:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2016 Edition, Vol. 241

    It is said that it is better to give than to receive, though this overlooks the fact that in the act of charity you are selfishly placing the recipient of your “goodness” in a compromising position of forced gratitude and, perhaps, financially draining reciprocation. Shame on you! However, with the impending season of brotherhood, charity, good tidings and good will toward Men (including all public bathroom permutations of this most politically offensive of gender identifications) upon us, we must keep in mind that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. So, by extension of such a fundamental law of nature, feelings of goodness and charity will inevitably lead to ill-tempered behavior and hostilities, or, in other words, the Salvation Army was responsible for Pearl Harbor.   Which brings us to this month’s edition of xdecgifAmerica’s favorite gender neutral waste of time: the monthly Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you this and always by those fine folks who distribute and sell SKITTLES, the favorite breakfast candy of the Free World since the passage of the 19th Amendment. In this edition we spotlight the marvelous process of gift giving and receiving in all of it’s forms In each of the following twelve images, there is a movie scene depicting the  act of giving, receiving, or the giver, recipient or actual subject of a gift (how’s that for complications?). Your mission, as always, is to identify the twelve films from which the images have been taken. The first to do so, successfully, will receive the highly prized and equally feared CSR Culture Shock Award, an honorarium banned from forty nine different New England college campuses, as it’s very presence is enough to send the precious young featherbrains into therapy. Good luck, and to all a good night.













Posted in books, Christmas, Film, History, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Musicals, Reviews, Romance, westerns, women, writing | 3 Comments

“Get Off Our Land, White Man” (The Rest of You Too): Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, November 2016 Edition, Vol. 1620

how10“Get Off Our Land, White Man” (The Rest of You Too): Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, November 2016 Edition, Vol. 1620

   This year, the season of Thanksgiving finds greater than normal reasons to give thanks, not the least of which is that the American public can finally breathe a sigh of relief for the end of the seemingly eternal intrusion of a handful of disgracefully unqualified egos foisting their rank ambitions upon us in the longest and most abrasive job interview in history. (Surely, if there were any excuse for contributing to the number of permanently unemployed it would be the inclusion of this handful of moral and intellectual retrobates.) Certainly, if the Native American participants of the first Thanksgiving had known what howgifwas in store for future generations, they might have acted with greater foresight than a sharing of nuts and berries, and instead could have started a dandy collection of decorous but oily scalps from future Democrats and Republicans. So, in deference to the short-sighted visionaries known more intimately by the staff of CSR as cousins Lithe Fawn and Howling Bear With Impacted Molar, we present this month’s edition of the Colonies’ favorite monthly holistic prescription for acute nausea, the Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you this month by those medicine men who bring us SKITTLES, America’s favorite Breakfast energy booster. In this edition, we celebrate Hollywood’s portrayal of the Native American throughout the years, and occasionally (purely by casting oversight, you understand) played by actual Native Americans. The following twelve images all depict a movie scene featuring an American Injun in all of their wincing, snarling or contemplative glory. Your task, is to circle the wagons, hide the women folk and correctly identify the films from which all twelve images were derived. The first to hit all twelve on the proverbial noggin will receive the coveted CSR Culture Shock Award, redeemable for a fistful of wampum or an island suitable for a New York borough. Good luck.

01) how6













Posted in animation, biography, books, Film, History, humor, movie reviews, Movies, politics, Reviews, westerns, women | Tagged | 2 Comments

The Girl With Something Extra: “Lucy” (2014)

0000000000lucy1   “Lucy”  (2014)

     Sometimes you get the opinion that certain directors watch far too many films and that they just cannot restrain themselves from emulating what it is that has already excited them on the screen. If one is in the mood for a smattering of John Woo’s “Hard-Boiled” mixed with lesser parts “Altered00000000000000000lucyOS States”, “Koyaanisqatsi”, “Scanners”,  “2001: A Space Odyssey” and “D.O.A”,  then “Lucy” might be your particular blend of intellectual hemlock. French director Luc Besson continues his fascination with the empowered woman who is simultaneously emboldened with both superhuman abilities and high powered weaponry; a partnership that might seem either unnecessary or contradictory, but certainly makes for a stylish, if predictable, brand of mayhem.

    In Besson’s universe, violence isn’t an eruption, but a kinetic ballet; though in lacking a resonant aesthetic shaking core comparable (even in ambition, if not execution) to Peckinpah’s seminal ballets of bullets and blood in “The Wild Bunch”, it fails to elicit little more than comparisons (especially in this case considering the ethnicity of the lead criminals) to the run of the mill Hong Kong shoot-em-up, violence in a Besson film is not used as a means to an end, but simply as a substitution for more intellectual pursuits; which is odd considering the consistent window dressing of  tacked-on grandiosity mated with criminally undeveloped philosophical ambitions.

To read the complete review, click the following link to: https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/multiplex-movies/

Posted in crime, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, science, science fiction, writing | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Bugged: “The Andromeda Strain” (1971)



     The evolutionary characteristics that would come to define the post-atomic bomb SF genre emerged, not coincidentally, with striking similarities to Hollywood’s failing classic horror film, which after the real-life atrocities visited upon the0000andromedaOS civilized world throughout World War II, seemed almost childish and certainly preternaturally dated; the menace of cloaked or stumbling representatives of the undead or resurrected dead being hardly comparable to wholesale destruction of cities and peoples, or the unspeakable atrocities commonplace in Nazi death camps, and during the period of postwar psychic healing it was evident that a newly honed sophistication was in order to usurp the cinematic diet of Gothic based terrors in favor of a new modernity in the nourishment of nightmare scenarios.

     The baby steps taken by the post-War SF film engaged the genre in the briefest gestative flirtation with more realistically grounded procedural verisimilitude-  leaning on aspects of mystery (“Spaceways”), adventure (“Rocketship X-M”) and docudrama (Destination: Moon”)  -in which existent genre tropes are used to give narrative integrity to what are essentially how-to primers in escaping the gravitational pull of the Big Blue Planet. Grandiose scientific concepts, many condescendingly thought to be too complex for the audience to grasp, were cloaked in the comforting embrace of overly familiar (and therefore less challenging) cinematic surroundings that burdened a genre- which by its very nature should energize the speculative imagination  -with a storytelling attitude bordering on the mundane. However, even this kitchen sink approach to the emerging vista of space exploration was short-lived. Disappointingly, rather than pursuing a continuance of speculative considerations of Man’s place in the universe, the SF film quickly plunged into a degenerative intellectual descent. Thus a brief flirtation invested with a loftier philosophical bent was waylaid in favor endless conflicts with xenomorphic 0000ANDROMEDA5species-  either extraterrestrial or the product of an incautious evolution of atomic energy  -that favored the seemingly invulnerable destructive menace inherent in a robotic Gort rather than the more pedantic course of Klaatu in Robert Wise’s seminal SF wake-up call “The Day the Earth Stood Still”; a dramatically shortsighted trend which downplays the importance of the human element, most prominently in the important development of full-bodied characters (ironically, Michael Rennie’s Klaatu is one of the most memorable and interesting characters in the genre, yet it is the stolid countenance of the robotic sentinel which has eclipsed the face of human reason in the cultural pantheon).

To read the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/nights-at-the-aspen-hill-cinema/



Posted in acting, books, Film Reviews, germ warfare, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, science, science fiction, writing | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Who Was That Masked Man and/or Lady?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Oct. 2016 Edition, Vol. 00/00

oct16gifWho Was That Masked Man (and/or) Lady?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, October 2016 Edition, Vol. 00/00

    With the arrival of the traditional time of year for the emergence of chain rattling ghosts of the past, evil goblins, hideous unnatural demons and hordes of masquerading moochers running from door to door with their little entitled hands out (yes, kiddies, it’s election time), we proudly present the latest edition of America’s favorite favorite brain scrambler (excluding, of course, those scandalously cheating crosswords printed daily in Pravda oct16gifbWest [along with the rest of “All the News That’s Fit to Prevaricate”]) the monthly Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you this and every month by those good folks engaged in the interstate smuggling (thanks to Obama Executive Order 4331-C, which prohibits the selling or distribution of any product which brings fun or enjoyment to a “lazy” American population whose time is better off sitting and reflecting over historic wrongs the White House deems appropriately unpardonable) of SKITTLES, America’s favorite non-prescription placebo substitute. In this edition, we celebrate that which disguises the features and deters detection of a person’s true identity. No, not the Clinton Dirty Tricks Machine, but the simple but effective mask. The following twelve movie images each features a character donning the charming facial appliance. Your task: to identify the films from which all dozen images originate and demonstrate the fortitude to inform us of your deductions. The first reader to correctly identify all twelve films will become the proud and envied recipient of the legendary CSR Culture Shock Award. Good luck.













Posted in books, erotica, Film, Film Reviews, History, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, Romance, women | 1 Comment

Why Can’t a Woman Be More Like a Man?: Classic film Photo Quiz, Sept. 2016 Edition; Vol. 362436

septphoto3Why Can’t a Woman Be More Like a Man?: Classic Film Photo Quiz, Sept. 2016 Edition, Vol. 362436

    If the events of the recent political season have taught us anything, it’s that women have achieved a true equality with men in the valued fields of duplicity, egomania, corruption and unappetizing psychological disorder, though indicators are legion that (at least if the leading news/unscrupulously biased broadcast opinion platforms are of any reliability) women may have it all over the beer bellied set when it comes to sociopathic prevarication: sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but it takes a villagesunblvd3 to willfully conceal a liar. With that happy bit of folk wisdom we present this month’s tribute to the Gods of Forked Tongues and Smoked Meat (Writing this stuff is hunger inducing.), in other words, the latest edition of America’s favorite nonprescription aphrodisiac, the Classic Film Photo Quiz, dedicated this month to those rascals at the Teamsters who deliver this great nation  with its daily fix of SKITTLES, the only traditional breakfast candy that tastes like freedom. In this edition, we celebrate (and, in a playfully misogynistic manner, certainly question the competency of) the role of women as leaders in business, politics and just plain general bossiness, as depicted in the movies. Taking our inspiration from a certain unmentioned former First Lady, who took it upon herself to wear the pants in the family out of sheer necessity since her spouse more often than not was found with his dropped around his ankles, the following twelve movie images reflect the controlling instinct of the fairer sex to assume the role of “boss”, or at least the dominant figure in the relationship. Your task, as usual, is to identify the source of each of the twelve images and to report your findings to this very site, where through a painstaking process of analytics we will determine whether you’ve answered correctly or not. The first to crack the puzzle will receive the coveted (and only slightly radioactive, a still unexplained result of the administration’s Iranian Nuclear Deal) CSR Culture Shock Award, usable in eighteen different nations to credit the bearer with the equivalent of sixteen American dollars to play 4 Black at any local floating casino roulette table. Good luck.













Posted in books, Film, Film Reviews, humor, movie reviews, Movies, photography, Reviews, Romance, sex, westerns, women | Leave a comment

No More Undocumented Aliens!: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, August 2016 Edition, Vol. 30, 000, 000

aa99No More Undocumented Aliens!: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, August 2016 Edition, Vol. 30,000,000

    If we have learned anything from this election season, it is that it has never been more imperative that the sanctity of national borders must be subject to serious and intensive scrutiny regarding the problem of stemming and reversing the uncontrolled flow of unwanted aliens into our streets, towns and neighborhoods. It’s time to keep the unwanted, unwelcome and unexpected gatecrashers out of our living rooms and back to their own places of origin, since- as evidenced by all of the available data  -they are a continuous burden on our secure social order and a drain upon our law enforcement resources. The immediacy of this plea toward protecting our very way of life brings usaa9 directly to the subject of this month’s Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you by the patriotic consumers of SKITTLES, America’s favorite terrestrial breakfast candy. In this edition, we focus on Hollywood’s frustratingly unheeded warnings against these trespassing invaders who make a mockery of our way of life and generally create havoc that generally calls for a great deal of strenuous mopping up and repair work. Each of the following thirteen images features an occasionally cleverly disguised xenomorph who rudely decided to visit without the courtesy of even a phone call. Your task is to identify the film from which each image has been sourced and report your findings to both this site and ICE. The first to correctly identify all thirteen images will receive the coveted CSR Culture Shock Award, possession of which is generally considered the only reliable documentation that one is from the right side of the Van Allen Belts. Good luck.















Posted in books, fantasy, Film, Hammer films, horror films, humor, movie reviews, Movies, politics, Reviews, Romance, science fiction, women, writing | Tagged | 2 Comments

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow: A Death of the Day of CFU


 Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow: A Death of the Day of CFU

    It was a long time coming. The January 11 cessation of the very existence of the CFU (Classic Film Union) branch of the TCM website, came as not only a blow to the evolution of genuine communal discourse about cinema, but also the opportunity for a merging of populist and artistic critical sensibilities which might have proven a useful procreative auger for both burgeoning and seasoned writers alike to parry with equal, spirited vitality. That this opportunity was squandered is a useful example of the seductive but destructive WLW-TCMClassicFilmUnion_FAB4-banner_JOINCALL_thumbnature of the Internet, and of a vast corporation’s complete lack of foresight and intuition in how to manage their own creation. (If there emerged any element of a disruptive power games among certain elements of the membership, such  behaviors could have been effectively nullified by the simple elimination of the “private messaging” function on the site; the essential tool for corrosive communications while maintaining one’s own anonymity; an elementary solution which would have been obvious to a site sponsor who was even remotely aware of their own property.)

      The cancellation of the CFU came at the very time when the TCM enterprise itself seemed immersed in a systemic flux, redefining what they are and what they offer to the wider public, with little apparent concern as to how these changes might affect the rabid core base of followers, many of whom comprised the membership of the CFU. Realistically, since the network and all of its ancillary manifestations are (One might wish to refer to an earlier editorial relaying these caveats in very precise terms, at https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com) are entirely the proprietary baby toe of the greater Turner Broadcasting System, itself a subsidiary of the hollow colossus Time Warner. However, the recent changes invoked, both  as the last vestiges of a pretense that TCM badgesTCM is anything but a shill corporate entity, using a popular passion for movies as an increasingly transparent excuse for the marketing of suspiciously slight  cruise trips and-  the most blatantly offensive and irrelevant of all movie tie-ins  -the TCM Wine Club, a cynical enterprise whose only possible excuse for its formation is in a long overdue admission that much of the dross presented is elevated through the haze of drink. (Though no psychogenic enhancement could possibly elevate the insufferably smug, self-congratulatory brayings of that shameless but exemplary model of critical retardation, Ben Mankiewicz.)

Yo read the complete editorial, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/notes-on-the-critical-establishment/


Posted in blogging, blogs, cinema, Culture, Film, Film Reviews, movie reviews, Movies, writing | Tagged , | 1 Comment

It’s My Party: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2016 Edition, Vol. 54

july0aIt’s My Party: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2016 Edition, Vol. 54

      In these days of American celebration, let us not forget those attributes of the human spirit which have helped cement our nation as the place of dreams, the cradle of free and independent action, and, of course, the birthplace of the celebration of almost anything at the drop of a hat or the merest suggestion of a group gathering in which no one has cab fare. This spirit is, of course, of the eighty proof variety, which if imbibed in sufficient quantity, is potent enough to render common sense null and void. (For an illustrative july0gifreference point, see the James Comey announcement of the Clinton Investigative findings.) With this time honored tradition of voluntary surrender to celebratory grossly negligent behavior (correction: extremely careless) in mind, we welcome you to yet another episode of America’s favorite monthly mental aphrodisiac, the Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you by those wonderful folks who manufacture and distribute SKITTLESAmerica’s anti-Communist breakfast treat. In this edition, we celebrate the celebration: movie gatherings of friends and colleagues in the form of dinner parties, galas and anarchic orgiastic excesses (just kidding about the latter, though we probably have your attention). The following twelve images, each feature a scene of a celebratory gathering. Your job is to determine from which film each image has been taken. The first to solve the mystery will receive the coveted CSR Culture Shock Award, which automatically confers immunity from unbiased investigation from the FBI, no matter how blatant and unapologetic the offense. Good luck.
















Posted in blogs, book reviews, books, Film, Marilyn Monroe, Marlon Brando, Movies, photography, Puzzles, Reviews, women | 7 Comments

June Brides: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, June 2018 Edition, Vol. 121

june2016bJune Brides:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, June 2016 Edition, Vol. 121

     During the month of June, we engage in the annual observance of a wide variety of events: academic graduations leading to a closer inevitability with unemployment, disillusionment with the realities of life and despair, the anniversary of D-Day, the day when the Boston Celtics are generally mathematically eliminated from the championship  for the next season, the full flowering of the summer movie season in which the nugget of sardonic wisdom  “there’s a sucker born every minute” is proven with horrifying regularity, another monthly period in which june2016cthe Clinton Family-  not unlike the Corleones  -is likely to engage in their continuous calendar of felonious behavior (lock up your daughters and your savings accounts!), and, perhaps most cheerily, the emergence of the beautiful June bride. Which brings us this month’s edition of America’s favorite post-mortem time killer, the Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you this month by the makers of SKITTLES, America’s favorite breakfast candy and, 3 to 1, the chosen substitution for wedding rice. In this edition we celebrate the glowing image of the blushing bride as depicted in the cinema. The following twelve images are taken from films in which a lovely lady in white is prominently featured. Your task, as always, is to identify the films from which the dozen images originate. The first to do so will receive, as always, the CSR Culture Shock Award, NATO’s first line of defense, and a pretty nifty bauble to adorn the fireplace mantel. Good luck.






06)Film Title: Mamma Mia!







Posted in Audrey Hepburn, Brigitte Bardot, Film Reviews, movie reviews, Movies, Musicals, photography, Reviews, Romance, weddings, women | 2 Comments

Life in Bloom: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, May 2016 Edition, Vol. 111

may10Life in Bloom:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, May 2016 Edition, Vol. 111

    Despite the grand apocalyptic allusions to global warming, orbital rotational shifts or the mysterious shortage of stylishly lapelled union suits, there can be no question that Spring is in the air; along with a range of unsavory toxic particulates wafting over from our global neighbors in Beijing, whose daily motto of: “If you can see it, then you know what you’re maygif11breathing”, has, for popular recognition and marketing favorability rankings, just recently eclipsed that most recognized advertising slogan for Bottled Ganges Spring Water: “Refreshment with only the slightest suggestion of urine”. This, of course, leads us directly to this month’s highly anticipated edition of America’s favorite decaffeinated stimulant, the Monthly Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you-  as always  -by those magical pixies who manufacture SKITTLES, America’s breakfast candy, and the #1  I.O.C. recommended Zika virus preventative nutritional supplement. In this edition, being that we are a sustainably green site (well, at least when we indulge in a wee sip of crème de menthe), we turn to films which feature our friends in the floral realm; those delicate, colorful sprouts which sustain and engage the happy bumble bee who diligently labor to produce enough honey so that we might soak our morning flapjacks (still a felony in certain counties of Alabama). The following twelve images are painfully removed from films in which a bit of Mother Nature’s pollen pushers are present. Your task, as always, is to identify the twelve films; the first to do so will receive the hypoallergenic CSR CULTURE SHOCK AWARD, useful in the warding off of evil spirits and easily doubling as a substitute croquet mallet. Good luck.













Posted in blogs, books, Entertainment, Film, food, humor, Movies, Musicals, photography, Puzzles, Reviews, Romance, theater, women, writing | 3 Comments

Writers as Artists: Classic Film Photo Quiz, April 2016 Edition, Vol. X

 sunsetblvdgloriaswansongif1Writers as Artists:  Classic Film Photo Quiz, April 2016 Edition, Vol. X

     Without writers the world would be full of blank pages and a seriously diminished need for bookmarks. Even the world of cinema, with its highly overdeveloped need to consider the director as the author of a film, would be hard pressed were it not fot the presence of the screenwriter to take the brickbats for all of the meddlesome executive interference, directorial egomania and vapid, semi-literate actors who portray themselves as masters of spontaneous jocularity worthy of the Algonquin Round Table, all of whom make Veg-O-Matic slaw out of the poor writer’s original creative intentions. To rage against this brand of industry ignominy, we present the newest edition of America’s favorite reason to wish the Internet was never invented, the Monthly Classic 000000000000aprgif1Film Photo Quiz, brought to you this month by those fabulous folks who peddle SKITTLES, the world’s most addictive non-narcotic breakfast candy. In this edition, we celebrate the writer (You might have guessed this, unless you’re suffering from a SKITTLEinduced sugar buzz.) as celebrated in film. (Yes Virginia, they make movies about them, they just don’t acknowledge the writers write them.)  Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to not only identify the twenty-four  films from which the images are taken, but to also identify the author being portrayed. The first three readers who correctly solve the quiz will receive the CSR Culture Shock Award, a prize so coveted, Obama e-mailed us to see if he could trade in that hokey Nobel Peace Prize for one. (No dice, bub. Do the work.) Good luck. 

01)  Henry and June/Anaïs Nin000000000000apr8

02)  Star!/Noel Coward000000000000apr12

03)  Il Postino (The Postman) (1994)/Pablo Neruda000000000000apr1904)  Bride of Frankenstein/Mary Shelley, Percy Bysshe Shelley. Lord Byron000000000000apr5

05)  Buffalo Bill and the Indians/Ned Buntline000000000000apr3

06)  The Hours/Virginia Woolf000000000000apr4

07)  The Life of Emile Zola/Emile Zola000000000000apr16

08)  Time After Time/H.G. Wells000000000000apr6

09)  Mishima/Yukio Mishima000000000000apr10

10)  The Last Station/Valentin Bulgakov, Leo Tolstoy000000000000apr7

11)  Reds/Eugene O’Neill000000000000apr9

12)  Miss Potter/Beatrix Potter000000000000apr20

13)  The Whole Wide World/Robert E. Howard000000000000apr33


15)  Julia/Dashiell Hammett000000000000apr1

16)  Beloved Infidel/F. Scott Fitzgerald, Sheilah Graham0000000000000apr3

17)  The Man Who Would Be King/Rudyard Kipling0000000000000apr6

18)  {riest of Love/D.H. Lawrence0000000000000apr4

19)  The Old Gringo/Ambrose Bierce0000000000000apt23

20)  Out of Africa/Isak Dineson0000000000000apr7

21) 0000000000000apr32

22)  Tom & Viv/T.S. Eliot. Vivienn Haigh-Wood Eliot0000000000000apr10

23)  Shadowlands/C.S. Lewis0000000000000apr8

24)  Cross Creek/Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings0000000000000apr22

Posted in biography, book reviews, books, Film, History, Movies, photography, Romance, theater, women, writing | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Fate is the Hunter: “High Plains Drifter” (1973)

000000high2       “High Plains Drifter”   (1973)

   The following article contains discussions of details which the weak of heart might regard as “spoilers”. So, readers are advised approach with a sensible level of caution.

     There’s something wrong in the town of Lago. When a drifter rides into town, there are none of the usual indicators of a healthy, thriving community, but rather those of a breeding ground of antisocial animus, marked by a suffocating suspicion and paranoia. The rider quietly passes by a tableau of confused and fearful faces;000000highOS figures either frozen with paralytic dread, or hiding behind the safety of windows which are pathetically transparent in disguising the uniformly palpable anxiety emitted by the citizens of Lago, like a collective pheromone of desperation.It is clear there is something hanging over the minds of the townspeople; a secret whose unraveling, and the closure of which, will provide the moral fulcrum of the drama to follow.

     Thus begins Clint Eastwood’s third directorial effort, “High Plains Drifter”; a confused bit of frontier misanthropy, presenting the citizens of the West as unrelievedly corrupt, cowardly, immoral and mean-spirited; a portrait so unrelentingly unforgiving, it is absent of even the equally pessimistic. but far more intelligently conceptualized. amoral center dominating the revisionist perspective of the American West in Sam Peckinpah’s seminal “The Wild Bunch”, as in comparison, Eastwood’s film suffers from a core vacuum: a missing example of any code of honor (among the townsfolk, despite a bonding born of felonious convenience, they seldom miss an opportunity to enjoy each other’s discomfort), even among the most lowly bred. This absence of a codifying bond eventually become problematic in a film claiming a thematic preoccupation with retributive closure as it continuously waffles in an inevitable collision between the-  what are presented as justifiable  -actions of its protagonist, versus the film’s loftier metaphysical suggestions fueling its thematic intentions.


To read the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/nights-at-the-langley-theater/

Posted in clint eastwood, Film Reviews, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, westerns, women, writing | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Chandler’s Trailers: “How to Make a Monster” (1958)

0000000000howto1“How to Make a Monster”   (1958) This  not very mysterious murder mystery is a sort-of sequel to both “I Was a Teenage Werewolf” and the subsequent “I Was a Teenage Frankenstein” in that it features the monsters of the two referenced pictures (and “Teenage Frankenstein” star Gary Conway), though the relevance to the specific creatures is rather dishonestly stretched to capitalize on the popularity of the earlier movies, as the focus of the story is actually centered on obnoxiously long-winded studio make-up artist Pete Dumond (played with caustic self-aggrandizement bu Robert H. Harris) whose reaction to his firing is to suddenly develop an hypnotic cosmetic foundation which renders actors into willing instruments of death.  

To read the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/chandlers-trailers-short-bits-for-emerging-cinephiles-and-a-better-america/

Posted in crime, Drive-In Movies, Film Reviews, fRANKENSTEIN, horror, movie reviews, Movies, Mystery, Reviews | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Holy Unexpected: “Heaven Help Us” (1985)

00000000heaven2               “Heaven Help Us”   (1985)

     When considering the curious slide in quality in the most popular film genres of the past, if there is a source of more continuously disappointing results than the American comedy, it is certainly that more odoriferous of sub-genres: the teen comedy. So imagine 00000000HEAVENosthe odds of such an adolescently inspired opus managing an unexpected but precarious tightrope walk between the expected elements of lascivious gross out pranksterism (displaying a genuinely funny brand of comedy) and an unexpectedly touching subplot which manages to capture the hesitant vulnerabilities and insecurities of first love.

     That “Heaven Help Us” also exists within the generally unsatisfying group of films which immerse themselves in the ripe but easy parodic target that is the piety of organized religion (herein identified, as is the case with most films of this sort which rely upon what is considered an easily mockable, as Catholicism), a subject often met with a crassly insultingly disrespectful and stereotypical exaggeration (despite the fertile indigenous possibilities which might nurture genuinely biting satire), “Heaven Help Us” expands upon its own modest achievement through an intelligent (and mature) compilation of the type of details which reveal substantive character depth in an unobtrusively unforced cumulative00000000heaven3 manner. In fact, despite the sometimes outlandish antics of the youths involved, even the most provocative actions feel completely organic to the characters within the limited context in which the film takes place. Thus rather than the humor feeling forced for the sake of randomly convenient insertions of typical adolescently randy humor, it emerges as natural reactive consequences of the the particulars of situation and the specifics of character. The film also manages to poke at the abuses of institutional religion without engaging in a callous devaluation of the spiritual value of faith, and it’s this resistance to an easy acquiescence toward pubescent coarseness that makes “Heaven Help Us” stand a cut above the average film of its kind.

      Taking place in the autumnal days of American youth’s innocence in 1965, the film follows the experiences of transplanted Bostonian Michael Dunn (Andrew McCarthy) at Brooklyn’s St. Basil’s Academy for Boys, and his association with a quartet of fellow students who although initially seemingly light years apart in behavioral temperament seem to find a bonding common core with a like-minded resistance to the institutionalized0000000000heaven9 authority under which the students find a constant test of their natural desire for expression of autonomous individuality. However, while rebelliousness is an expected aspect of the teen comedy, it is generally presented as a witless anarchism in the service of sexual prurience; characteristics of which are in trace attendance, but are intelligent modified with a far rarer inclusion of a more compelling formative aspect in regard to actively budding maturity: genuine growing  pain-  a legitimate and identifiable anxiety beneath the surface of the students’ anarchic spirit. It is this palpable undercurrent of teen angst which lifts the film above its more scatological infantile genre brethren, as the film is wise enough, without overt declarations, to identify the primary source of adolescent anxiety, not from the more casually asserted and excepted excuse of peer pressure, but from the influence of the inherent anxieties expressed by the adults surrounding them and to whom the youths are forcibly attentive enforced to influences irrelevant to whether or not that influence advances a nurturing stability. The film illustrates that this often critically damaging developmental smothering can be the result 0000000000heavenof both emotionally fractured familial settings and (in the case of St. Basil’s) institutional persecution, and it is to the credit of the surprisingly nuanced screenplay by Charles Purpura that the adult antagonists are treated with an equal sympathy and (with the exception of an extremely funny cautionary speech against Lust by Father Abruzzi (Wallace Shawn) preceding a school dance) never reduced to cartoon stereotypes.  It is the reaction to the perception of the stifling of organically spontaneous expressiveness through relentless appeasement to the demands of the adult world which provides the film with its comic tension and its dramatic potency; most delicately balanced with grand gestures of humor, and without the embarrassing histrionics of more acclaimed portrayals of teen angst, such as the mawkish “Rebel Without a Cause”.

To read the complete review, click the following link to: https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/views-from-the-screening-room/

Posted in comedy, education, Film, Film Reviews, movie reviews, Movies, religion, Reviews, Romance, writing | Leave a comment

Chandler’s Trailers: “Gunfight at the O.K. Corral” (1957)


      John Sturges’ rousing “Gunfight at the O.K. Corral” could never be confused with an historical study aid; the film is structured as an illustrative compliment to the ballad form, here colorfully vocalized by Frankie Laine, and commensurate with the said form, the story is related as an inflated tale of mythic heroics. However, as an unashamed piece of pure Hollywood hokum, there is much to recommend. Burt Lancaster portrays frontier legend Wyatt Earp as a puritanical figure of almost demonically possessed dimensions; his unwavering morality seems to exaggerate the actor’s signature physical rigidity (no one moved as gracefully while remaining as physically robotic as Lancaster) to the point where the lawman gives the impression of being unequipped with knees and elbows.

To read the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/chandlers-trailers-short-bits-for-emerging-cinephiles-and-a-better-america/

Posted in acting, Burt Lancaster, Film, Film Reviews, History, Kirk Douglas, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, Romance, westerns, westerns, writing | 1 Comment

March Madness: Classic Film Photo Quiz, March 2016 Edition, Vol. 33

0000000000mad1gifMARCH MADNESS: Classic Film Photo Quiz, March 2016 Edition, Vol. 33

       Welcome to the headquarters of cynical, uncaring, insubordinate, insensitive, boorish, childish behavior-  OK, outside of the current carnival sideshow masquerading as a job interview for the nation’s most prestigious position (What?? Am I leaving this site??)  -which all good citizens will recognize as the doorbell chime (Still haven’t learned to resist unlatching the door, eh? The Boston Strangler ring a bell? Jehovah’s Witnesses? Chandler Swain Reviews? Doesn’t anyone ever learn?) to yet another edition of America’s favorite irritation not located in a non-mucosal membrane: The 0000000000mad2gifClassic Film Photo Quiz, this month brought to you by those fine purveyors of SKITTLES, the official food of the Latvian Space Program and, of course, America’s favorite breakfast candy. In this edition, we let our hair down and pay tribute to those fine folks who eat flies and drool with great distinction. Yes, we are talking about movie crazies, those wonderfully colorful folks (as opposed to folks of color because that would be racist [THIS CAUTIONARY CENSORING BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE TRUE DEFENDERS OF DEMOCRATIC DEMOCRACY, FREE THOUGHT THAT AGREES WITH US AND EX-CABINET MEMBERS WITH SHADY FINANCIAL CONNECTIONS, OR T.D.D.D.F.T.T.A.W.U.E.M.W.S.F.C. FOR SHORT.]) who have been hitherto described as “nuts”, “bonkers”, “loony”, “batty as a two legged dingo” or just plain “insane”, but are now considered by the new Hollywood establishment, who are protected from such exceptional types with gun toting bodyguards, snarling guard dogs and electric fences, as “just like us”. Well… there may be something to that. Anyway, your task is to identify the films which are the source of the following thirteen images, tell us your findings (or else it’s a fundamentally fruitless exercise which might result in you being featured in the next edition) and sit back and win your very own CSR Culture Shock Award, suitable for warding off evil spirits and/or Bill Clinton during the erection election season. The first three correct entries will win this coveted award and become the envy of jealous nations around the globe, which will probably spark some sort of an incendiary apocalyptic conflict, but-  By Golly!  -somebody has to do it. Good luck.














Posted in blogs, books, Film, Film Reviews, History, horror, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Mystery, politics, psychiatry, Reviews, theater, women | Leave a comment

Hit and Run: “Death Race 2000” (1975)

000000deathrace5           “Death Race 2000”   (1975)   

      One of the problems with films that take place in the imminent future is that they tend to appear flat-footed when envisioning the vicissitudes of the subject speculative society. This is especially true when that same society is parasitically reflective of the most garish of influences in popular culture (rather than practical anthropological evolution) from the time during which the film is conceived and produced. If Paul Bartel’s “Death Race 2000” 000000deathraceOSpromises a future, it is one already  trendily lived in and discarded. Cheaply cobbled production values (observe how camera angles are usually determined to disguise obvious seams between poverty row production values and more grandiose but imagined surroundings) are presented amid such decorative affectations as the shimmering representational citadels of the metropolitan matte painting in the background (suggesting  unlikely Russ Manning comic book draftsmanship rather than the more utilitarian aligned dominoes of old Gotham) collides with the sub-NASCAR hayseeds in the crowd who are no more credibly at home in such an environment than the slimy tentacled xenomorphs of bad SF who always appear from user impractical gleaming spaceships. Science fiction films have a tendency to burrow into  a contemporary mindset-  not as a suggestively editorial backdrop, but simply out of sheer laziness in directing the film toward a more timelessly universal level in dialogue and thought  -without a regard for credible speculative alterations of societal behavior. How depressing when a film taking place a hundred years into the future already seems quaintly antiquated within a few brief drive-in seasons; and the danger for films consciously produced with the intention of a likelihood of developing a cult following is more pronounced as there is a tendency to think that an innate hipster flippancy is a sufficient substitution for genuinely imaginative content.


To read the complete review, click the following link to: https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/chandler-swain-reviews-drive-in-cinema-2/chandler-swain-reviews-nites-at-the-queens-chapel-drive-in/

Posted in Drive-In Movies, Film Reviews, fRANKENSTEIN, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, Roger Corman, science fiction, sports, writing | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Skinned: “Srpski film” / “A Serbian Film” (2010)

0000000000serbian“Srpski film” “A Serbian Film”  (2010) Starring Srdjan Todorovic, Sergej Trifunovic, Jelena Gavrilovic, Katrina Zutic, Ana Sakic. Written by Srdjan Spasojevic & Aleksandar Radivojevic. Directed by Srdjan Spasojevic. Is there anything more repellent than the attempted sugar-coating of diseased depravity under the guise of pseudo-intellectualized excuse making?  Milos (Srdjan Todoroviv), a former porn actor of high reputation, is approached by Lejla (Katarina Zutic), a former professional associate, with an outrageously lucrative offer to make an “artistic” piece of pornography, the nature of which is, quite obviously to anyone who has even heard the phrase “torture porn”, dangerously mysterious. Being the happy example of domestic tranquility that he is (home life for Milos is shown to consist of his young son watching Dad in action in a sex video, while his wife blissfully requests a spontaneous eruption of violently frenzied rough sex bordering on rape with her spouse so that she might enjoy the technique with which Milos accommodated his video partners, an odd request since the myriad examples of staged fornication we are shown present Milos as the most disengaged of sexual partners), Milos willingly accepts the job, through no legitimate incentive save the necessity in putting him (and by extension, us) into the middle of the increasingly repulsive action, as even the financial compensation offered scarcely offsets the stunningly obvious warning signs that the situation is to be avoided at all costs, nor can it compensate for the fact that his shadowy benefactor Vukmir (Sergej Trifunovic) and his sinister minions, are quite clearly unhinged. However… 

To read the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/the-concession-stand-iii-guns-of-the-quick-nibble-reviews/

Posted in Film, Film Reviews, movie reviews, Movies, pornography, Reviews | Tagged | 2 Comments

TEARS ON MY PILLOW: Classic Film Images Quiz, Feb. 2016 Edition, Vol. 66


THERE’S NO CRYING IN MOVIES? Not so fast Chester…

TEARS ON MY PILLOW:  Classic Film Images Quiz, February 2016 Edition, Vol. 66

    Tears of sadness, tears of gladness, tears of sorrow and tears of joy. One thing is for certain: the movies are awash in a flood of salty drippings so voluminous it makes the staff of CSR gnash their collective teeth in anguish at the failure to secure lump stock options in the tissue industry. (That our alternative diversified investments in Hungarian honeymoon 0000000000tearsgif2accessories as advised by the CSR brokerage team of Behemoth, Swindle & Hyde underperformed is a matter of historical record , not to mention unfortunately necessitating a few sessions of after hours retaliation involving an ether pillow and croquet mallet.) If a timely burst of tears in the movies teaches us anything it’s that deeply felt emotions are easily faked by overpaid celebrity automatons (although the jury is still out on Channing Tatum whose expressive menu seems uncannily imitative of a block of sandstone) and that the Pavlovian response reflex is very much alive as evidenced by the sniffling and sobbing emanating from the dark corners of the local movie house. (And that’s just in response to the pre-feature  “no texting” announcement.)

   Which brings us to this month’s edition of America’s favorite parlor game often compared to experiencing a weekend of waterboarding in Gitmo: the Classic Film Images Quiz, brought to you, as always, by those dedicated folks who manufacture and distribute SKITTLES, the favored0000000000tearsgif3 breakfast candy of skirt chasing Syrian migrants everywhere. In this edition, we feature twelve examples of Hollywood-style waterworks from twelve films, each which you are expected to identify with all possible haste. (Correctly, if you please. This isn’t an exercise for the feint of heart nor the lactose intolerant. huh?) The first three readers to correctly identify all twelve film from which the images spring will receive the provocative CSR CULTURE SHOCK AWARD, the preferred cultural trophy of libertines worldwide. Good luck. 

01) 0000000000tears302)0000000000tears403)0000000000tears104)0000000000tears8






Posted in black cinema, Film, Film Reviews, humor, movie reviews, Movies, photography, Puzzles, Reviews, women, writing | Leave a comment

Baby, You Can Drive My Car: Classic Movie Photo Quiz, Jan. 2016 Edition, Vol. 500

00000000badgirls8Baby, You Can Drive My Car: Classic Movie Photo Quiz, Jan. 2016 Edition, Vol. 500

     Sometimes it simply seems a burden in being a film critic, but evidently  that is child’s play in comparison with the Sisyphean effort women deem necessary in the maintenance of their appearance while juggling the full cosmetics inventory of Macy’s in a handbag that would give a seasoned Marine on bivouac a hernia, applying lipstick and eyeliner while driving a sports coupe down a crowded highway at a rate of speed that would make Scott Crossfield envious. all the while vacuum packing an exotic anatomical menu of curves and angles into00000000badgirlsGIF a cocktail dress, elbow length gloves and fishnet stockings. (Hey… you think it’s easy writing this stuff every month? Indulge the noir-fueled visions if you will.) Not that any of this has to do with the monthly photo quiz (well, maybe a little), but the mind wanders in coming up with categories for the amusement of the unseen masses. Anyway, regarding women behind the wheel, there is a fascinating history of this documented in all directions of the world cinema that simply is too ripe for the picking for easy exploitation. So, without further ado we present yet another edition of Norway’s favorite national pastime, the Monthly Classic Film Images Quiz, brought to you, as always, by those good folks who distribute and sell SKITTLES, the favorite candy-coated contraceptive of Mumbai. In this edition we feature twelve images of femmes footloose and fast down the breakdown lane: your mission, as always, is to identify all twelve films. (And if you really wish to show off, relay the route numbers as well.) The first two readers to correctly identify all twelve film images will become the personal property of the auspicious CSR Culture Shock Award, the world’s most ominous celebratory totem. Good luck.




Posted in blogs, comedy, crime, Film, Film Reviews, Hitchcock, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Puzzles, Reviews, women, writing | 2 Comments

Tourist Trapped: “Dracula Prince of Darkness” (1966)


      “Dracula Prince of Darkness”  (1966)

   Religious piety receives a refreshing shot in the arm in Terence Fisher’s “Dracula, Prince of Darkness”-  the long delayed direct sequel to the 1958 “Horror of Dracula” (or “Dracula” 00000000draculaOS883for purists situated outside of the 50 States)  -in the form of Andrew Keir’s Father Sandor, who is a cross between Van Helsing and Quatermass; a know-it-all who is also a good sport: a teddy bear vampire killer with a hair-trigger intolerance for stupidity and an even shorter fuse toward superstition, despite his encyclopedic level of knowledge of supernatural lore. (Not the least example of the film’s distracting quantity of unexplained contradictions.) Keir also provides a solid authority to which the forces of darkness are less than likely to emerge victorious without the aid of a series of illogical actions which are the essence of the enervated script by John Sansom (a nom de plume for regular Hammer scribe Jimmy Sangster) to invent momentary lapses of logic or oddball convenient circumstances in which the most obvious of vampiric gambits might fortuitously operate without detection.

 To read the complete review,click the following link to  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/hammer-time/


Posted in Film Reviews, Hammer films, horror, movie reviews, movie sequels, Movies, Reviews, vampires, writing | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment


00000000xmas1         DEAR CINEMA SANTA, 2015 EDITION

     During this festive season, when the brief wisps of sunlight become briefer, granting increased concession to the agents of nocturnal chills, howling blasts of wind and the occasional welcome falling of celestial dandruff on the empty branches of winter, it falls upon the magnetic tug of nostalgic yearnings for a 00000000xmas2return to the warm caress of innocent days of youth, replete with schoolyard bullies, practical parents whose wisdom allowed for their child riding a bike or playing hopscotch without their binding their offspring in protective body armor that would make Navy Seals envious and a common sense view of society that allowed little Butchie to roam the neighborhood unaccompanied while 00000000xmas3selling subscriptions to Grit did not assume that every suburban block is saturated with oddballs seeking to replicate the Lindbergh kidnapping. But beyond the magnetic pull of a wishful return to such societal naivete lies the special prize that was the annual Sears Wish Book, the ultimate bible of kid’s greed for all things shiny, whirring and buzzing. The catalog of fingertip wonders that, through advanced practices of footnoting, annotations and cross-referencing skills that would make college professors shudder in awe, became a common mental meeting ground for generations of children who insatiable seasonal gluttony for unchecked merchandise acquisition was one of the founding cornerstones of the American economy, first notated in The Federalist Papers and later explored in great depth in the collected papers of both Hillel Hassenfeld and John Foster Dulles. In the great spirit of the Wish Book, we present our annual  Christmas cinema want list, keeping in mind that the boy has been a lot less naughty this year than most of the Silver Screen offerings of the calendar year:

To read the complete Christmas list, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/the-film-vault-index-of-reviewed-films/ho-ho-ho-happy-holidays-from-the-critical-establishment/







Posted in Canada, Christmas, Culture, DVD, Film, Film Reviews, food, gene hackman, holidays, humor, Movies, Television, theaters | 2 Comments

Cowboys Will Be Boys: “The Sons of Katie Elder” (1965)


           “The Sons of Katie Elder”  (1965)

     If the challenge for any film is for that movie to deliver an original and memorable experience, then that challenge may become doubly daunting in the case of genre pictures; the available crutch of formula genre tropes, whether conscious or mentally assembled through an almost unavoidable mental osmosis of influences past. It is especially dispiriting when a film unreels revealing little to no reason for the film to exist, despite the participation of many whose earlier work indicates an ability to produce far more interesting work, leading000000sonsOS to the unsatisfying conclusion that the participants are displaying a far too callous willingness to coast their way through insubstantial material which doesn’t even make a minimally reasonable effort to justify its own production. (There are, of course, more undeniably celluloid wasteful vehicles to consider in such a discussion, but the sheer scope and creative resource squandered in such a major production should-  in all critical fairness  -elevate such a vacuous expenditure of said resources to the top of the pyramid of ignominy.) Henry Hathaway’s “The Sons of Katie Elder” takes the aimlessness breezily exalted in Howard Hawks’ “Rio Bravo” to a level of narrative torpor that begs for immediate resuscitation by objective critical defibrillator paddles.

     The funeral of Katie Elder creates an occasion for a reunion of her four sons, each seeming to possess a certain level of disreputability if one is to believe the generally negative reaction to their reemergence by the local townspeople who simultaneously, and without exception, hold the memory of the expired Elder in an almost ridiculous elevation of rapturous reverence, regarding her as a veritable melding of Mother Teresa and Mother Courage. The filmmaker’s most canny instinct is to deny the audience any direct physical manifestation of Katie, transforming her into a purely mythic personality rather than risking subverting her image through a more direct representation which could-  with injudicious casting  -have resulted in a dangerous overdose of treacle (imagine Helen 00000000ons2Hayes in the role) which could have easily transformed the texture of the film from sagebrush to syrup. However, such a distancing device-  necessitating a constant flow of testimonials concerning Kate’s selflessness  -results in the unforeseen consequence of making the adoring community appear more selfishly one-sided on the Good Samaritan scale (how else to explain the saintly woman’s   fall into squalor while more prosperous citizens continue taking advantage of her blind altruism?) with the subsequent result of increasing a general sense00000000sons1 of public hysteria toward the four Elder “boys” that seems entirely out of synch with the events of the film; a burden which seems more advanced by the need of the screenwriter to create a needlessly convoluted conflict, rather than addressing any organic issues. This central conflict appears to be the legacy of the Elder Ranch, though even a most rudimentary consideration of that riddle could be solved simply by noting just who is living at the ranch, not to mention the lugubrious performance of James Gregory as the same Elder ranch resident Morgan Hastings, the most patently obvious figure of wrongdoing since the lugubrious performance of James Gregory as Sen. Johnny Eislin  in “The Manchurian Candidate”.

To read the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/chandler-swain-reviews-nites-at-the-natick-drive-in/chandler-swain-reviews.nites-at-the-bellingham-drive-in/

Posted in Drive-In Movies, Film, Film Reviews, John Wayne, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, westerns, westerns, writing | Tagged | 1 Comment

Eucharist With Holy Water Chaser: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2015 Edition, Vol. 3:10

000000dec8Eucharist With Holy Water Chaser:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2015 Edition, Vol. 3:10

      Being That December signifies several of the most important spiritual days of the calendar year: Christmas and Pearl Harbor Day (when the spirit finally moved us to bring a colossal dose of whoop ass unto our enemies), it seemed only fitting, as a holiday offering to all of you heathens who still deign to follow this site, to present an offering which might honor the brave and tenacious adventurers who-  despite all rational indicators to the contrary  -still maintain a stubborn faith that miracles do indeed occur in the modern world and thus they will find themselves justly rewarded during their mortal roma_o_GIFSoup.comlifetime with something resembling brand new timely offerings of rambling  critical dissemblance, the type of which CSR has come to be known. Well… not to be a naysayer, but if we were the betting types, we’d put the better odds more in favor of the chances of viewing a burning push in the middle of the New Jersey Turnpike. And with that sincere caveat we present yet another edition of America’s most notoriously low-budget national pastime, the monthly Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, this time brought to you by those good folks who manufacture and distribute SKITTLES, America’s favorite nutritional substitute: remember what Vatican II said: When thinking neon colored breakfast sacrament, think SKITTLES. In this edition we focus our attention on those good persons of faith and the cloth (no, not Manny the washroom attendant at Peter Luger; that’s a different kind of cloth) who persevere through spiritual and moral crises; not to mention dumb online photo quizzes. Each of the twelve images is from a feature film in which such a character is prominently featured. Your task (yes, there comes a heavy burden with reading this stuff) is to identify all twelve films and to confess your effort to a higher power (which would be us); the first five to do so successfully (it’s the holidays and we’re feeling generous) will be issued their own CSR CULTURE SHOCK AWARD, a nonsectarian token which (rumor has it) can substitute for tolls in the Lincoln Tunnel or tips at the Carnegie Deli. Good luck.








Posted in black cinema, blogs, books, Charlton Heston, Christmas, Film Reviews, Hammer films, holidays, humor, movie reviews, Movies, photography, Puzzles, religion, women | Leave a comment

Happy Hostage: “Bandolero!” (1968)


PILLOW TALK: Dean Martin and Raquel Welch share tender thoughts despite the fact that she is kidnapped and held ransom by the leader of a gang of bank robbers who murdered her husband, in the psychologically baffling western “Bandolero!”.

      “Bandolero!”   (1968)

     A most peculiar entry in the western genre is Andrew V. McLagen’s “Bandolero!”, a film which gives a fresh-  though unpersuasive -perspective to the notion of the Stockholm Syndrome, is also a vehicle which is plagued by an inevitably distasteful indecisiveness as to a moral focus which might address the material in a manner which does not elicit an unresolved temporal provocation; a particularly troublesome problem of a lack of contextual integrity which results in a constant shifting of tone that chaotically veers from savage drama (the film is peppered with a great  deal of not always mercifully off-screen violent slaughter) to supposedly folksy humor, the last reserved for the “bad” guys of the piece, though 00000bandoleroOSa natural sympathy seems to be awkwardly granted these characters since they are played by usual audience favorites Dean Martin and James Stewart, Thus when a woman’s husband is gunned down in cold blood during a robbery and the woman is later kidnapped by the same fugitive gang as a shield against the pursuing posse, the presumption might be for a tense  relationship between captor and victim instead of a warm and fuzzy meditation on burgeoning romance and a sentimental grab at second chances.

     Just what is going on in “Bandolero!” is an example of the unease with which more traditionally  filmmakers are dealing with the seismic shift within the western genre: from morality to immorality plays. Traditional heroes were swiftly replaced with, not anti-heroes, but characters of disproportionately unsavory mercenary aims. If McLagen’s film is clear about anything it is that in dealing with the violently transitional period in American commercial filmmaking that occurred with the relaxation of the00000bandolero4 industry’s rigid codes of morality (and the influx of a suddenly popular world market of film, which considering the bottom-line thinking within the movie community is an agent of change conveniently sidestepped in Hollywood’s historic version of its own of cultural evolution through a sudden transformative enlightenment), is that the first casualty of the traditional Hollywood mindset was the establishment of a consistent tone between the more comfortable (nee, tried and true) elements within the material and the panicked pandering to the presumed modernity of the audience’s taste.

To read the complete review,click the following link to:  http://chandlerswainreviews,wordpress,com/chandler-swain-reviews-nites-at-the-natick-drive-in/



Posted in Drive-In Movies, Film Reviews, James Stewart, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, Romance, westerns, women, writing | Tagged | 1 Comment

Blue Lives Matter: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, November 2015 Edition, Vol 10-4


     Consider for a moment the sad state of societal disorder in which divisive intolerance has become a favored substitution for erudite enlightenment and a ludicrous authoritarian-targeted  prejudice induces historical correction through the use of criminal misguidance; where diversity is an insidious new form of ethnic segregation with its enforced emphasis on cultural difference rather than human commonality, and forced political correctness (especially on college campuses where weak minds are a terrible financial waste) is a totalitarian means ofin-the-heat-of-the-night_o_GIFSoup.com thought control with its hysterical calling for a cessation of all but the most invidious rhetoric as a foundation of political philosophy rather than free exchange of Socratic discourse: the kind of atmosphere which cannot fail but conjure an ill-advised trek down the Cahulawassee and being subjected to the hillbilly soapbox orthodoxy of the Hillabernie totems while being forced to assume the porcine position.  Certainly the professional retainers of our national Constitutional guarantees should be more enlightened than the troglodytic grunts of a certain Hollywood director whose unabated dishonoring of the concept of fact v. fiction (assuming he might ever be cognizant of a difference) can be partially blamed upon the unrelenting aggrandizement of an unjustifiably exalted mediocre artistic sensibility by a shameless, easily impressed new critical corps whose standards seem to be set primarily in a self-congratulatory ability to recall the sources of the director’s unceasing plagiarisms.  And what does this all mean? What all that means is that it’s time, once again, for America’s favorite legal mental narcotic: the Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you, once again, by those who enjoy SKITTLES, America’s favorite addictive (but legal) breakfast candy. In this month’s edition we feature eighteen photographic representations of those bastions of law and order: the police as depicted in the cinema. Your task is to ferret out the title of each of the eighteen films and report your findings (here would be helpful). The first to successfully do so will be the proud recipient of the brief and mercifully unchatty CSR Culture Shock Award, suitable for use in repelling denizens of the Underworld or residents of Vermont (different practitioners in terms of styles of ungracious social intercourse but equally unpleasant). Good luck.

01) 0000000nov8











12) 0000000nov21







Posted in art house cinema, books, crime, Culture, Film, Movies, photography, politics, racism, Reviews, Steve McQueen, vermont, writing | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Kitty Litter: “Confessions of a Psycho Cat” (1968)


HOW DO I LOVE ME? Could this bizarre Michael Findlay moment be intended to illustrate society’s unhealthy addiction to narcissism or is it merely a demonstration of an exotic method of mirror cleaning without the aid of Windex? In either case, neither explanation has more relevance to the central plot of “Confessions of a Psycho Cat” than the rest of the shameless volume of padding intended to extend the material to something resembling a minimum of feature length.

           “Confessions of a Psycho Cat”  (1968)

    While the variety of adaptations of Richard Connell’s seminal short story The Most Dangerous Game is impressively eclectic-  with the tale attracting cinematic interest from filmmakers on both ends of the creative barometer from handily professional to jaw dropping incompetence (What is trendy to call “surreal”, which is a contemporary context00000confessionsOS is generally an academically naive way of avoiding identification as “lousy”)  -perhaps none achieve a similar level of almost psychotropic weirdness as “Confessions of a Psycho Cat”, a film which certainly attempts a stubbornly consistent substitution of bizarrely inappropriate exploitation elements when faced with gaps of narrative logic, the restraints of meager budgetary resources, wince inducing bad performance skills and directorial indecision; explaining lengthy insertions of Doris Wishman-like orgy scenes in which (once again) the participants engage in the same endless ritualistic foreplay that was characteristic of the 1960’s nudie and roughie films, in which sexuality was generally expressed by a dispassionate guy slowly rubbing his hands over a topless woman’s body as if her were applying Turtle Wax to an old car, with peculiarly specific avoidance of all erogenous zones in dispiriting exhibitions of carnality as ennui; without either intimacy nor interest on the parts of the “lovers”.


To read the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/sticky-floors-stained-screens-days-nights- at-the-grindhouse/



Posted in acting, crime, erotica, Film, Film Reviews, grindhouse, horror, movie reviews, Movies, New York City, psychiatry, Reviews, sex | Leave a comment

Garters, Glitter and Gauze: “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” (1975)


     “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”  (1975)

    Frank N. Stein:  There’s no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure.

    Audience Response (Boston):  There is in Massachusetts.

    Long a staple of the disappearing urban Midnight Movie circuit, “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” is a movie discussed in terms of its post-initial release cultural phenomenon rather than as simply a film; albeit one which has profited by taking advantage of a novelty scheduling strategy with each screening’s unashamed encouragement to engage the full range of its audience’s exhibitionist participatory propensities: to, in0000rockyhorrorOS
essence, become a member of the cast, and thus a culprit in obscuring the genuine merits or demerits of the film on an unpolluted aesthetic level. Cultism run amok-  especially when coupled with novelty populist enticements  -is bound to generate a great deal of misplaced emphasis on disingenuous critical assessment based on an artificial cultural impact which has more to do with the emergent in-theater pageantry rather than with any intrinsic value in the film: the seduction of empty Populism as an easy and thoughtless substitution for critical acumen.

     Every area of cultural endeavor demands a certain amount of popular reactive observant filtering, not only for the necessary promulgation of said endeavors (unfortunately the pursuit of culture is shackled with the necessary evil of some form of patronage, were Art to exist in a vacuum it would lose all meaning) rather than the very idea of Art which is the result of efforts beyond mere craft and into the purview of certain indefinable tangents of humanist instincts. However, when that same audience patronage intrudes on the attended work’s intention-  as designed  -the resultant deliberate alteration for the sake of the audience’s own self-generated idiosyncratic amusement, a breach is created between artistic intention and mere 0000rockyhorror3 populist utility, and when the critical estimation of a work is entirely regenerated with this altered form is prominently evaluated above that of the original form-  allowing the individualistic interests of public patronage counter the original , a schism is created beyond the mere empty idolatry of cultism, with the work overwhelmed by popular external stimuli; thus not being in actuality what the creative artists intended, but instead becoming a substitute wish fulfillment for the audience: an intentionally calm body of water may be given active ripples by a bystander throwing a rock into the surface. Unfortunately, in critical terms, a puddle is often just a puddle.


To read the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/views-from-the-screening-room/



Image | Posted on by | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Revelations: “Twilight’s Last Gleaming” (1977)

00000twilights“Twilight’s Last Gleaming”  (1977) Starring Burt Lancaster, Richard Widmark, Paul Winfield, Charles Durning, Burt Young, Gerald S. O’Laughlin, Melvyn Douglas, Joseph Cotten, Richard Jaeckel, William Marshall. Screenplay by Ronald M. Cohen & Edward Huebsch, based on the novel ‘Viper Three’ by Walter Wager. Directed by Robert Aldrich. Faithfulness is not always an admirable trait. When a film’s fidelity to its source material is inclusive of the more problematic characteristics of the original novel, one may question as to whether such an adaptive misjudgment is a creative inability in the filmmakers to either recognize those deficiencies or simply a failure to reconcile the material into a more workable alteration; which would beg the question as to the attraction of the material in the first place. In Robert Aldrich’s “Twilight’s Last Gleaming”, the problems manifest in Walter Wager’s novel Viper Three are readily apparent despite a drastically altered motivational direction invested in the narrative which changes the reasons for the film’s actions if not the credibility of the characters. Disgraced General Lawrence Dell (Burt Lancaster) and a handful of confederates (played by Paul Winfield in full street hipster mode and Burt Young inappropriately inserted to contribute his usual ethnic half-wit act that results in obliterating any trace of suspense in favor of low humor) manages to take over an ICBM  complex with the ease of sneaking into a second feature at a mulitiplex. This lack of complication in muscling in on the launch control of nine intercontinental missiles is consistent with Aldrich’s uncharacteristically lackadaisical approach to the material, missing his signature muscular sense of masculine brutality while failing at committed exploration of the story’s newly found thematic concerns; which is ironically fortunate as close scrutiny would quickly reveal the thinness of the thematic reconception.

To read the complete review, click the following link to:  http://chandlerswainreviews,wordpress.com/the-concession-stand-quick-snack-reviews/

Posted in books, Burt Lancaster, Cold War, crime, Film, Film Reviews, movie reviews, Movies, politics, Reviews, Richard Widmark, Vietnam, writing | Tagged | 1 Comment

Pressure Point: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, October 2015 Edition, Vol. 40

00000oct03PRESSURE POINT: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, October 2015 Edition, Vol. 40

 If one thing is certain, it’s that if the current White House claims the world is enjoying an historically unprecedented condition of peace and harmony, you had better start digging the bomb shelters and learning conversational Farsi in a quick jiffy. With this last bit of homespun wisdom in mind, we bring you this month’s edition of America’s favorite anti-Socialist (Take that you Red stooges from Vermont!) play-at-home therapy session:  the monthly Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you-  as always  -by the dedicated manufacturing cartel responsible for SKITTLES, America’s most addictive breakfast glen-or-glenda_o_GIFSoup.comcandy. In this current edition, we celebrate those wonderful characters of the Silver Screen who were of sufficient presence of mind to understand what a hopeless miasma of chaos, unchecked brutality and barbaric incivility the world has devolved into: and that’s just calling Moviefone.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen (or in deference to radical gender-neutral Oregonians: doofi.), it is time for the annual celebration of Characters in Crisis, a pageant of anxiety and existential angst so severely unrelenting that in addressing this current edition, it was thought to be heard, during his recent East Coast visit, from the interior of the Popemobile, the utterance: “All hope lost.” (Though to be fair, the Holy Father could have been referring to the announced withdrawal of Howard Stern from the grammatically challenged America’s Got Talent.) In any case, the following twelve images each depict a film character in the midst of high pressure psychological crisis, not to mention featuring generally sourpuss expressions. Your task is to identify the title of all twelve films, relay that information to this site and win the beloved CSR Culture Shock Award. No pressure, eh?  Good luck.













Posted in blogs, books, Culture, Entertainment, Film, Film Reviews, humor, Movies, photography, Puzzles, silent movies, women | Leave a comment

Rambling Rogues: “Hatari!” (1962)

hatari1          “HATARI!”      (1962)   

     When considering the 1962 wildlife adventure “Hatari!”, it often appears as though director Howard Hawks has created the world’s first feature-length music video (discounting Disney’s “Fantasia” as having grander artistic aspirations) as throughout the 0000000hataruOSstructureless rambling series of incidents which vaguely suggest a plot hidden within Leigh Brackett’s screenplay there are extensive sequences which seem to exist for no other purpose than to afford an illustrative cover to Henry Mancini’s inventive percussion heavy scoring. (For instance, the lengthy ostrich scene could be excised without notice since it’s seemingly inconsequential insertion in the film is obtrusively awkward, to say the least.) Were one to remove the scoring track, it is apparent that the film is filled with an excessive amount of extraneous footage: it’s as if the production became so relaxed that on-set home movie reels were interpolated into the narrative.

     “Hatari!” presents a man’s world as a true boy’s club with all of the adolescent level treehouse camaraderie that the title implies. Women are seen as a romantic prize, but less as a result of a male-driven game of direct pursuit than in the clever usurping of such the rules of such a competitive contest by women themselves. For all intents and purposes, “Hatari!” might best be enjoyed as a comedy between the sexes, not a literal war between the genders-  the film is far too gentle in its relationship salvos to be accused of anything more than an extension of the familiar male/female dynamic of the screwball comedy of which Hawks’s films in the genre were instrumental in laying the elemental behavioral foundations.  In Hawks’ film universe, men have often been portrayed as boobs and nitwits when it comes to a competent campaign for a woman’s attention (a far less dire-  and more playful  -arena than that as often portrayed in director John Huston’s cinema in which the men are often undone by their weakness for women) and there is little difference in the men of “Hatari!” who may be expert in capturing the most dangerous and elusive of wildlife, but not women, who always seem to have the advantage over their male counterparts by virtue of ahatari1 certain crafty patience in waiting out their “prey”, similar to the demonstrated method of wearing down a rhino before capture. If, indeed, there is in Hawks’ film a depicted war between men and women, it is far more identifiable as a prolonged bout of mental foreplay; the men are appreciably notable as being the clueless animal on the veldt, while the women are highly conscious of their siren-like lure over the male breed. “Hatari!” is notable as a consciously balanced fusion of Hawks’ action/adventure sensibility and that of the great screwball director (which in its own genre definition implies a similarly precarious sense of sexual adventurism), whose own examples featured innumerable “hunts” and entrapments, though more along romantically biological lines than zoological. (Though the result is0000hatari1 amusingly similar, the captured in both cases looking dumbfounded.) Much of the same tone and playful sexual balance was also apparent in his overrated “Rio Bravo”, but the mechanics of the ramshackle plot tended to continuously intrude upon the interesting interplay between John Wayne’s Sheriff John T. Chance and Angie Dickinson’s saloon girl Feathers insofar that in that film the narrative balance was founded along an exploration of more overtly traditional exhibitions of impregnable movie masculinity (reportedly a belated and misguided answer to Hawks’ and Wayne’s violently negative reaction to “High Noon”, whose Marshal they found both cowardly and un-Anerican, 0000hatari2though the resultant 1959 film cheats on a number of points in its own confrontational schism by arming the film’s Sheriff with a band of skilled confederates), whereas in “Hatari!” the focus leans more to the side of the slight immaturity commensurate with competitive fraternal bonding; in as much as “Hatari!” engages the characters in a constant (though, significantly, occassionally prompted by the female) pursuit of women, the rougher side of the drinking, brawling end of machismo scale (as seen John Ford’s comparatively lesser “Donovan’s Reef”) is surprisingly modulated with a shyly disarming sense of innocent sentimentality.

To read the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/nites-at-the-shoppers-world-cinema/

Posted in Africa, Film, Film Reviews, Howard Hawks, John Wayne, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, Romance, women, writing | Tagged , | 1 Comment

From the Crazy, Mixed-Up Files of Chandler Swain: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, September 2015 Edition, Vol. 411


ISN’T IT AMAZING HOW WORK STACKS UP? Yes, it’s true, the administration of this site can lead to untidy amounts of overlooked memos, abandoned manuscript drafts  and conspicuously  misleading  business related corporate tax receipts for discreetly packaged educational materials (what can we say, we’re suckers for Hooked on Phonics) that are bound to cause the antennae of suspicion at the IRS to twitch like an underfinanced heroin addict. 

From the Crazy Mixed-Up Files of Chandler Swain:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, September 2015 Edition, Vol. 411

MEMO FROM THE LET’S GET SOMETHING OFF OF OUR CHEST DEPT: There comes a time in the life of every website when a digital version of a garage sale becomes a matter of practical necessity rather than the result of a well ordered intentional maintenance born of organized thinking and purposeful deliberation. In other words, it’s time to declare the current condition of Chandler Swain Reviews something of (what is the 00000austintechnical term used by NASA?…. oh, yes) a hot mess. To be honest, there has been a great deal of negligent management on the part of the administrators of this site, the most glaring misconduct emerging from the dearth of new material published in a timely fashion (if at all), the scathingly out-of-date obituary listings and, of course, the several years long drought regarding the lack of response to the patiently generous correspondence which has passed by this desk. With rectifying this lowly state of discipline a top priority (well, unless there’s a surprise weekend sale of practical joke novelty items at Spanky & T-Bone’s House of 10,000 Humiliations), it seems prudent that the first order of business should be to clean house, which brings us to this month’s edition of America’s most beloved regularly scheduled cause of hypertension and unexplained vertigo, the CLASSIC FILM IMAGES PHOTO QUIZ, brought to you- as always  -by those swell Teamsters who semi-safely deliver SKITTLES, America’s favorite breakfast candy, to local merchants across the globe. SKITTLES, working every day for a tuberculosis-free America. In this month’s brainteaser there is no thematic link between the images, simply a random assortment of things that have been cluttering up the work area and getting underfoot. Your assignment, as always, is to correctly identify all 25 of the following images to the correct film title from which they originated. (Yes, that’s right. I said 25 images this month, which either indicates that our offices are extraordinarily unkept or that this month’s quiz is in the form of the world’s most ill-timed Advent Calendar.) The first to arrive at the correct solution to the puzzle will receive the coveted CSR CULTURE SHOCK AWARD, already rumored to be cited in several classified NATO documents as the international currency of choice in a post-apocalyptic nomadic society. Good luck.


























Posted in ava gardner, Film, humor, Movies, photography, Puzzles, Reviews, silent movies, women | Tagged | Leave a comment

Chandler’s Trailers: “The Replacement Killers” (1998)

00000replacement1The Replacement Killers”   (1998)  While, in theory,  imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, in the world of cinema it is more often a sign of the slavish pursuit of capitalizing on what has been proven lucrative by way of popular reception. Even a whiff of originality in a financially successful film is bound to be quickly consigned to the wasteland of premature irrelevance by a tidal wave of mercenary reproduction which in the unfortunate but inevitable evolutionary backhand of increasing cinematic mimeography leads successive efforts to even greater timidity (or sloth thereof) of formula, or in certain cases, an exaggeration of style leading to unseemly aesthetic caricature (the Italian spaghetti western, or, in a more apropos example, the Hong Kong action thriller). In the case of Antoine Fuqua’s “The Replacement Killers” the mimicry is boldly and professionally executed, but it is an example of wasted craftsmanship on a film which extends a hyperactive energy to the most insignificant gesture which can be used to propel any scene along, yet remain entirely bereft of meaning. 

To read the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/chandlers-trailers-short-bits-for-emerging-cinephiles-and-a-better-america/

Posted in Chow Yun-fat, crime, Film Reviews, Hong Kong cinema, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, writing | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Littled Big Man: “Duke: We’re Glad We Knew You” edited by Herb Fagen


Littled Big Man: Duke: We’re Glad We Knew You edited by Herb Fagen

     If one attempts a brief summation of a message one is left with in Herb Fagen’s tributary book Duke: We’re Glad We Knew You, it’s that its subject-  John Wayne  -was larger than life. We know this, not through a sensible observation of a cultural figure’s longevity and (if nothing else) largely self-created iconization, but in the fact that the book tells us this over and over and over… and over again. Indeed, there is so much repetition of thought about the Duke that if all traces of duplication were excised, the book might be reduced to a handy pocket sized brochure, a curious and unwarranted situation considering the grandiosity of Wayne’s legend combined with 0000dukebookthe relatively little that was shared about his private life that was not consistent with the careful nurturing of his particularly iconoclastic public persona.

     The book is constructed in the form of a loose biographical narrative written by Fagen, with a hefty insertion of corresponding “oral” testimonials about Wayne from “friends and colleagues”, not dissimilar from the format of Rudolph Grey’s engaging Nightmare of Ecstasy: The Life and Art of Edward D. Wood, Jr., but where that book encompassed a full spectrum of remembrance inclusive of a frank- yet still sympathetic  -portrait of a severely flawed man, Fagen’s book is an unapologetic love letter comprised of unrelenting bouquets which occasionally hint at though collectively attempt to contradict any conscious contributory opinion which might render the subject as anything but superhuman.

To read the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/the-hollywood-bookshelf/

Posted in acting, biography, book reviews, books, Film, History, John Wayne, Movies, politics, Reviews, westerns, writing | Tagged | 1 Comment

La beauté du monde: Classic Film Images Quiz, August 2015 Edition, Vol. 36-24-36


… OR ARE YOU NOT HAPPY TO SEE ME?:  In consideration of the ambiguous nature of the female mind (“Just what goes on up there anyway?” pondered a distracted Socrates whose fascination with the emerging coterie of Nouvelle Vague actresses incautiously allowed a normally ill-advised dose of hemlock to medicate a middle ear infection.), it occurs to us that the fair maiden (above) is either expressing a shock to the system or stifling a yawn at the prospect of  yet another Chandler Swain Reviews brain buster like the following, entitled:

La beauté du monde: Film Images Quiz, August 2015 Edition, Vol. 36-24-36

     Welcome all purveyors of cinematic curiosity to yet another edition of America’s most pointless monthly game, and a source of possible future litigation by the National Organization of Women, the Miskatonic Light Opera Company and FEMA, the Monthly Classic Film Images Quiz, once000000august31 again brought to you by the independently obese who have happily kept  SKITTLEas America’s favorite breakfast candy. In this edition, we celebrate those wondrous talented and architecturally ethereal Euro-actresses who have enriched the Silver Screen (Actually is it really silver? It rather looks a dingy white with random modern expressionistic drip painting accents from accumulated assaults of cola, orangeade and smuggled Red Eye Slurpees.) with style, beauty, grace, wit and intelligence. (And a good hairdo don’t hurt either.) The following twenty stills feature lovely performers from across the Atlantic who stir the imagination in or out of subtitles. Your task in this month’s quiz is twofold: first to identify each actress (this, as the old song goes, is the simple part)and then to identify the film from which the image is derived (the more challenging of endeavors). As usual, the first to successfully accomplish both ends of the challenge will receive that rarest of rare gems: the CSR Culture Shock Award, worth its weight in Euros and at least double the annual GNP of Greece! Good luck.







#06: 000000august12















Posted in cinema, comedy, Culture, Film, French cinema, German cinema, horror, humor, Italian cinema, Movies, Mystery, Puzzles, sex, theater, women | 1 Comment

Finger of Fate: “Zotz!” (1962)


     Timing is everything in comedy. Tom Poston is effectively eccentric in”Zotz!”, a daffy little film with supernatural overtones that is part of a particularly overlooked and all but abandoned mini-genre of film-  the college comedy  -which enjoyed a brief but major resurgence during the early years of the Space Race, when the forum for academia wasn’t the cyncically dirty joke it was perverted into by the end of the 60’s (see: Make Light, Not War: “Getting Straight”), as in 1962 the walking pillars of higher education were more likely admired than scorned and thus when given a satiric poke, it usually meant-  as in the case of “Zotz!”, a gentle poke with a portrayal of eccentricity rather than one of dangerously clueless demagoguery. 

To read the complete review, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/matinees-at-the-bijoux/




Posted in books, Cold War, comedy, education, fantasy, Film Reviews, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, writing | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Tales of the The Discontented Spouse: “The Tingler” (1959)


DOES THIS MEAN THAT THE HONEYMOON IS OVER?: Cuckolded hubby Dr. Warren Chapin (Vincent Price) consults advice from Guns & Ammo as to how to resolve a domestic disagreement with his wife Isabel (Patricia Cutts) in William Castle’s “THE TINGLER”.

            “The Tingler”  (1959)

WARNING: The following review contains plot spoilers.

     If Vincent Price eventually became labelled with the unwelcome moniker of “The Master of Horror”, it might be confidentially stated that he is also the Duke of Domestic Discontent, a somewhat overlooked facet within his filmography, that is put to the test in William Castle’s 1959 bizarre horror film “The Tingler”, Price’s second collaboration in as many years with0000tinglerOS the notorious director and shameless promoter of theatrical gimmickery, after “House on Haunted Hill”; yet another example of  cinema chills generated in an atmosphere of homicidally fractured matrimony, which would extend as a characterizing constant through much of Price’s 60’s horror output, especially his Poe collaborations with Roger Corman.

     In “The Tingler”, Price plays another of his preoccupied husbands ill-matched with a wife to whom there is never the whisper of a clue as to what might have explained a mutual attraction in the first place, except to provide the film with the convenient marital schism which will either encompass the entire conception of the film (as with “House on Haunted Hill”), or act as a handy motivating catalyst (as in “Pit and the Pendulum”). In the case of “The Tingler”, there would appear to be no relevant context of narrative immediacy fueled by the combative Chapins, though there is a curious cumulative effect to the method screenwriter Robb White (who also penned “House on Haunted Hill”) employs by telling the entire story within the intimate circle of three different pairings: the Chapins, the Higgins’-  who, though secondary in prominence, will be the eventual catalysts to every 0000tingler3important action in the film  -and the unattached though romantically involved couple, David (Darryl Hickman), Warren’s lab assistant, and Lucy (Pamela Lincoln), Isabel’s younger sister. With its rather absurd abundance of the murderously inclined pas de deux on display, the script presents a bleakly cynical view of spousal devotion; a perspective made manifest in the script’s narrow but consistent relationship blueprint depicting all of the men as parasitically indebted to their women for financial support, which, in the film’s view, leads to anxieties of emasculation with an inevitable escalation into murderous impulses.

To read the complete review, simply click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/chandler-swain-reviews-drive-in-cinema-2/

Posted in Film Reviews, horror, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, vincent price | Tagged , | 1 Comment

“Bend Over and Cough”: Classic Film Images Quiz, July 2015 Edition, Vol. RX VII


“Bend Over and Cough”:  CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ,  July, 2015 Edition, Vol. RX VII

     Greetings and salutations, to all Obamacare insured and all other ships adrift at sea, and welcome to another unnecessary edition of that most irritating regularly scheduled event outside of your yearly IRS audit (listen, we told you that  those twelve pay-per-view screenings of “Ingrid’s Magical Weekend”  at the Duluth Holiday Inn weren’t a legitimate business deduction), the monthly Classic Film Images Quiz; this edition brought to you by SKITTLES, America’s favorite breakfast candy, and now America’s most healthy and nutritious source of vitamins according to the guidelines released by Michelle-O-Bullycare. (Kale popsicles, indeed!) In this edition we feature those humble0000july11 and selfless persons who serve humanity (no, not the staff of Chandler Swain Reviews, but thanks for thinking of us): those in the medical profession. (OK, stop your laughing, we could have said lawyers.) The following twelve images are from scenes in films either directly about the health industry or about doctors in general. Your assignment (yes, here’s where you come in) is to identify all twelve films from which the scenes are taken. Partial responses will be met with swift and severe malpractice suits. (Just kidding.) Anyway, the first three (it’s an easy one this week, in homage to the current Secretary of State who is also rather simple) to correctly identify all twelve films and don’t leave forceps or a sponge in the patient will receive the coveted and revered CSR Culture Shock Award, suitable for framing and 10% off in the notions department at your local F. W. Woolworth Co. retail store. Good luck.

01) 0000july0302)0000july0403)0000july604)0000july0205)0000coma06)0000july1507)0000july0508)0000july1009)0000july1210)0000july1311)0000july1412)0000july7

Posted in blogs, books, Brigitte Bardot, comedy, Drive-In Movies, Entertainment, Film, humor, medicine, movie reviews, Movies, women | Leave a comment