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The Discreet Posts of the Bourgeoisie
- Chandler’s Trailers: “The Alphabet Murders” (1965)
- Chandler’s Trailers: “The Card Counter” (2021)
- Chandler’s Trailers: “The Hound of the Baskervilles” (1978)
- Suspicious Minds: “Elvis” (2022)
- Dear Cinema Santa: 2022 Edition
- “There Ain’t No Sanity Clause”: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2022 Edition, Vol. 12.25
- Untrue Confessions: “Witchfinder General” (1968)
- Concession Stand Bites: “Belfast” (2021)
- Vacancy: “Hotel” (1967)
- Haven’t We Killed Here Before?: “The Formula” (1980)
- Railroaded: “Fool’s Parade” (1971)
- TCM’s Chicken or Egg Conundrum
- Chandler’s Trailers: “The Batman” (2022)
- Boom and Boom Again: “The Suicide Squad” (2021)
- Concession Stand Bites: “The Legend of the Lone Ranger” (1981)
- Bats: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2022 Edition, Vol. 9
- Entropy Is What It Used To Be: “Tenet” (2020)
- Blood and Sand: “The Longest Day” (1962)
- Barred: Classic Film Photo Quiz, June 2022 Edition, Vol. 25 – Life
- Eye of the Needle: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, April 2022 Edition, Vol. 60
- Repeating Trifle: “Comanche Territory” (1950)
- When Your Fingers Did the Walking: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, March 2022 Edition, Vol. 411
- Slippery Slopes: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Feb. 2022 Edition, Vol. -10
- Whiskers: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Jan. 2022 Edition, Vol. 9
- Have I Got A Girl For You: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2021 Edition, Vol. 35mm
- Smoke Gets In Your Eyes: Classic Film Image Photo Quiz, Nov. 2021 Edition, Vol. 3000
- Pedalers: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Oct. 2021 Edition, Vol. 400.6
- They Had Lenses Then: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Sept. 2021 Edition, Vol. 35mm
- Exeunt, Joan: “Trog” (1970)
- They Shoot Bad Movies Don’t They?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Aug. 2021 Edition, Vol. 35MM
- …On Gossamer Wings: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2021 Edition, Vol. 0G
- Swamp Thang: “‘Gator Bait” (1974)
- Blood and Sand: “The Longest Day” (1962)
- Memorium: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2021 Edition, Vol. 6
- Horse Sense: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, May 2021 Edition, Vol. 6 Hands
- Without a Clue: “The Stone Killer” (1973)
- Strange Bedfellows: “Public Affairs” (1983)
- Isn’t Running a Sign You’re Up to No-Good?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Apr. 2021 Edition, Vol. 26.2
- All Creatures Great and Small: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, March 2021 Edition, Vol. 46XXL
- In the Realm of the Insensible: “Jade” (1995)
- Jungle Daze: “Trader Horn” (1973)
- Lurching: “The Addams Family” (2019)
- Noir!: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Feb. 2021 Edition, Vol. .38
- Thundering Cliff Notes: “Tombstone” (1993)
- Riding Off Into the Rising Sunset: “Red Sun” (1971)
- Lucky 2021: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Jan. 2021 Edition, Vol. 0-0
- Getting Crabs: “Attack of the Crab Monsters” (1957)
- Black and White in Color: “In the Heat of the Night” (1967)
- Castle Redux: “Two on a Guillotine” (1965)
- Heart of Darkness: “Justice League” (2017)
“They! They!”
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A review of Tim Burton's SF satire "MARS ATTACKS!" starring Jack Nicholson, Rod Steiger, Martin Short, Jim Brown and Lisa Marie.
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THE SEEKING OF WISDOM
FILMS DEMANDING REDISCOVERY:
Michelangelo Antonioni's neglected "Identificazione di una donna" relinquishes the metaphysical mire which had plagued the director for over a decade, and offered an introspective view of life, creation, sex and love. A film worthy of attention and serious reappraisal.
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Converting Populist Stooges Into Critical Thinkers In The Blink Of An Eye!
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MANDATORY CINEMA FOR THE CRITICAL MIND
The essential 1967 Russian film "Viy" was actually the first horror film produced in the Soviet regime.
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LEGAL THREATS & BOSSY MUMBO JUMBO
All material displayed is protected under copyright 2011 by Chandler Swain, Chandler Swain Reviews and parent companies therefore and whatnot. No material will be copied without the written permission of above parties unless the offender wishes to suffer a cruel fate worse than any experienced by a spouse of any reality program housewife, skank or pseudo-trash celebrity. Thou hast been warned. Just kidding.RECOMMENDED SOUNDTRACKS
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FEARLESS LEADER
THE CRITICAL ESTABLISHMENT : AN INTRODUCTION
What is it we seek from the Cinema? It all depends on your point of view.
For some, the movies are a source of seeking refuge from everyday existence, a release from daily tensions and anxieties. This is escapism and it has been the driving factor of the Populist attraction to the movies since the origin of the form. However, if one were to alter the view and regard film without merely the Populist limitations of escapist diversion but also as an Art Form, the perspective deepens and enters the realm of Critical Thought.
Though inconsistent in perspective, each side has validity, and is actually far more dependent on the existence of the other than would first seem possible. In a nutshell, it is a battleground between perceived verisimilitude against the aesthetic Ideal.
In formulating the foundations of The Critical Establishment,
it is necessary to understand the characteristics of each perspective, to note the seemingly contradictory similarities and disparities, and their often inextricable interconnections.THE CRITICAL ESTABLISHMENT : The Reviewer as Vox Populi
In examining both Populist thought and Critical Thinking in Film, it is useful to define the key players in the field: the reviewers and the critics. Though seemingly cut from the same cloth, there is a world of difference. Reviewers are the professional manifestation of the Populist front; reviewers have a primary focus on entertainment value while critics evaluate under an aesthetic criteria, reviewers reward immediate gratification whereas critics seek artistry.
With the burgeoning of internet filmspeak, there is a misconception that the old model of printed press criticism is being eroded by the emergence of an equal internet critical roster. This, however, is a fallacy. One thing is for certain, even with a cursory glance at popular internet movie sites: reviewers are plentiful and genuine criticism of merit is as scarce as water in the Mojave Desert.
The reviewer will generally spend the bulk of their time reprinting the plot synopsis of a film, often almost verbatim from the printed materials of the studio. While this assists handily in filling a column, it does little to illuminate the worth of a film. The reviewer will often spend an inordinate amount of time relaying such unessential data as background gossip, "best" lists and an alarming volume of space on film finances- usually relating to either the film's budget (as if the writer had a financial stake in the enterprise) or opening weekend receipts, neither of which has the slightest bearing on the film's aesthetic achievement.
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- Matinees at the Franklin Cinema
- Momento Mori
- Multiplex Movies
- NIGHTS AT THE ASPEN HILL CINEMA
- NIGHTS AT THE CINEMA 733
- Nights at the Coolidge Corner Theatre
- Nights at the KB Cinemas
- Nights at the Langley Theater
- Nights at the Laurel Drive-In
- Nights at the Orson Welles Cinema
- Nights at the PARK SQUARE CINEMA
- Nights at the Roth Theaters
- Nights at the Sack Cinemas
- Nights at the Silver Theater
- NIGHTS AT THE ST. GEORGE THEATER
- Nights at the State Theater
- NIGHTS AT THE UPTOWN THEATER, WASHINGTON D.C.
- NIGHTS AT THE WHEATON PLAZA PLAYHOUSE
- NITES AT THE SHOPPERS WORLD CINEMA
- POSTS AND RECENT THINKINGS
- Poverty Row
- Remembrance of Films Forgotten
- Retired Puzzles
- Sexual Politics in the Cinema
- SHORT FILMS: The Other Cinema
- The Concession Stand III: Guns of the Quick Nibble Reviews
- THE FILM VAULT: INDEX OF REVIEWED FILMS
- Views From The Screening Room
- WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF CINEMA
- Notes From The Critical Establishment
- NOW PLAYING AT THE MERCADO CINEMA
- THE MERCADO LOUNGE: a rest stop for the Critical Mind
- The Hollywood Bookshelf
- CHANDLER SWAIN REVIEWS: NITES AT THE DRIVE-IN CINEMA
- The Concession Stand: Quick Nibble Reviews
- CHANDLER SWAIN REVIEWS: ART HOUSE CINEMA
- Chandler Swain Reviews: The Silents
- Sticky Floors, Stained Screens: Days & Nights at The Grindhouse
Category Archives: Reviews
Concession Stand Bites: “The Legend of the Lone Ranger” (1981)
“The Legend of the Lone Ranger ” (1981) Starring Klinton Spilsbury, Michael Horse, Juanin Clay, Jason Robards, Matt Clark, Christopher Lloyd. Directed by William A. Fraker. Written by Ivan Goff, Ben Roberts, Wiliam Roberts, Michael Kane & Jerry Derioshon. If one … Continue reading
Black and White in Color: “In the Heat of the Night” (1967)
“In the Heat of the Night” (1967) With “In the Heat of the Night” director Norman Jewison breaches the unconscionable commercial wall of denial concerning racial injustice by way of silence (born entirely of an industry … Continue reading
Blood and Sand: “The Longest Day” (1962)
“The Longest Day” (1962) (Originally published June 23, 2013) Darryl F. Zanuck’s monumental war epic depicting the events of the D-Day invasion of World War 2 has the disadvantage of not only following dozens of characters … Continue reading
Chandler’s Trailers: “Where Does It Hurt?” (1972)
“Where Does It Hurt?” (1972) If Paddy Chayefsky’s attempt at satirizing the medical establishment fell short of the mark in Arthur Hiller’s “The Hospital” from the previous year, Rod Amateau’s rather loathsome burlesque “Where Does It Hurt?” arrives as a … Continue reading
What the Peeper Saw: “What Do You Say to a Naked Lady?” (1970)
“What Do You Say to a Naked Lady?” (1970) Alan Funt’s “What Do You Say to a Naked Lady?” begins with the noted television Peeping Tom/provocateur fiddling with his surveillance equipment … Continue reading
Still Lives: “Kärlekens Krigare” (2009)
“Kärlekens Krigare” (2009) Simon Staho’s “Kärlekens Krigare” ( “Warriors of Love”) is an interesting use of the limited regressive tools of filmmaking resulting by ignoring just over a century’s worth of accumulated advances in style and … Continue reading
Chandler’s Trailers: “The Curse of the Jade Scorpion” (2001)
“The Curse of the Jade Scorpion” (2001) A veteran insurance investigator and a newly installed company efficiency expert trade barbs while they are unwittingly involved, due to post-hypnotic suggestions, in the very jewel robberies they themselves are investigating. With its … Continue reading
Chandler’s Trailers: “Down and Dirty Duck” (1974)
“Down and Dirty Duck” (1974) Buoyed by the financial success of Ralph Bakshi’s X-rated animated feature “Fritz the Cat”, several attempts were made to legitimize a solid commercial market for adult oriented animated features. Though certainly not as technically proficient … Continue reading
Chandler’s Trailers: “Don’t Breathe” (2016)
“Don’t Breathe” (2016) Yet another example of Skinner Box cinema, presenting an unremarkable event, in this instance a case of home invasion by a trio of thrill seekers, which spirals into a nightmare intended precisely for the audience to enjoy … Continue reading
Curiouser and Curiouser: “The Curious Female” (1970)
“The Curious Female” (1970) One might be sympathetic to the exploitation filmmaker who deems that gratuitous sex and nudity alone is insufficient to realize any but the most base of creative intentions and … Continue reading
Cold as Ice: “The Frozen Dead” (1966)
“The Frozen Dead” (1966) If one were take Hollywood’s version of history at face value, Germany’s defeat in World War II had little to do with the strangulation of resources … Continue reading
Mud: “X the Unknown” (1956)
“X the Unknown” (1956) For those interested in genre filmmaking, it is important to remember that in monster movies the world seems to be populated by citizens paralyzed with fright so intense it … Continue reading
Performance Anxiety: “A Labor of Love” (1976)
“A Labor of Love” (1976) In the early 1970s, with the emergence of Porno Chic as a passport for the average moviegoer to casually experience that which heretofore had been the patron territory of the … Continue reading
No Smoking in Bed: “Fuego” (1969)
“Fuego” (1969) One may accuse the cinematic works of Argentine actor-director Armando Bo of many things, but subtlety is not probable to be high on the list of likely suspects. In the initial clumsily executed … Continue reading
Saturday in the Park: “The Running Jumping & Standing Still Film” (1959)
“The Running Jumping & Standing Still Film” (1959) Seldom does an inaugural short effort display as assiduously prescient a blueprint of the emergent talent of a major artist as does the Richard Lester-directed “The Running Jumping … Continue reading
Bad Habits: “Change of Habit” (1969)
“CHANGE OF HABIT” (1969) One of the disillusioning truths of the American film industry is its cavalier willingness to disregard genuine and unique talent in favor of convenient formulaic utilitarianism; a primary example being … Continue reading
Chandler’s Trailers: “Keeping Up With the Joneses” (2016)
“Keeping Up With the Joneses” (2016) A comedy which intermingles the movie-fed image of spies (i.e., those who carry on covert operations which seem to bring the greatest attention to themselves) with a Hollywood humorist’s vision of suburban America, “Keeping … Continue reading
Farm Hands: “Jennie, Wife/Child” (1968)
“Jennie, Wife/Child” (1968) For the advanced connoisseur of sexploitation sleaze, “Jennie, Wife/Child” is bound to disappoint. But for those truly interested in the cinema in all of its permutations, and the small, unexpected demonstrations of unheralded … Continue reading
Lonelyhearts: “Play It Again, Sam” (1972)
“Play It Again, Sam” (1972) It would seem like a smart move to begin the film version of Woody Allen’s theatrical opus “Play It Again, Sam” with the airport finale from”Casablanca”, as the difference in screen image between the … Continue reading
Chandler’s Trailers: “Sex By Advertisement” (1968)
“Sex By Advertisement” (1968) Is it a mockumentary on the subject of “degenerate” sex, or simply another sleazy sexploitation film pretending to have social significance in order to elude prosecution? A little of both actually, though the former may be … Continue reading
Knock Offs: “Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw” (1976)
“Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw” (1976) When bored carhop Bobbie Jo Baker (Lynda Carter) asks charmless drifter Lyle Wheeler (Marjoe Gortner) who his hero is, the answer should be the more accurate “Clyde Barrow” rather than … Continue reading
Chandler’s Trailers: “The Holcroft Covenant” (1985)
The resurgence of the Third Reich seems to be popular sport for thriller novelists seeking an easily identifiable scapegoat for global chicanery, and nowhere has this premise been given a more haphazard treatment than in John Frankenheimer’s film of the … Continue reading
Lure of the Siren: “Carmen” (1915)
“Carmen” (1915) If a proper movie translation of Prosper Mérimée’s novella “Carmen” is to be realized, the film must positively reek of earthiness; it must relay a passion so irresistible in its attraction … Continue reading
Nakedly Revealing: “Oh! Calcutta!” (1972)
` “Oh! Calcutta!” (1972) “In America, sex is an obsession. In other parts of the world, it’s a fact.” … Continue reading
Concession Stand Bites: “The War Wagon” (1967)
“The War Wagon” (1967) Starring John Wayne, Kirk Douglas, Howard Keel, Robert Walker Jr. Bruce Cabot, Keenan Wynn. Written by Clair Huffaker, based on his novel. Directed by Burt Kennedy. Standard serio-comic western which places Wayne in the rare role … Continue reading
Concession Stand Bites: “Legend of the Lost” (1957)
“Legend of the Lost” (1957) Starring John Wayne, Sophia Loren, Rossano Brazzi, Kurt Kasnar. Written by Ben Hecht and Robert Presnell. Directed by Henry Hathaway. In Timbuktu, adventurer Joe January (Wayne) is hired by a mysterious man named Paul Bonnard … Continue reading
Concession Stand Bites: “Slaughterhouse-Five” (1972)
“SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE” (1972) Starring Michael Sacks, Ron Leibman, Valerie Perrine, Eugene Roche, Perry King, Kevin Conway. Directed by George Roy Hill. Written by Stephen Geller based on the novel by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. When the film of a seemingly unfilmable novel … Continue reading
Concession Stand Bites: “Dracula” (1931)
“DRACULA” (1931) Starring Bela Lugosi, Dwight Frye, Helen Chandler, David Manners, Edward Van Sloane. Directed by Tod Browning and an uncredited Karl Freund. Written by Garret Ford, from the play by Hamilton Deane and John L. Balderston, based on the … Continue reading
Concession Stand Bites: “My Little Chickadee” (1940)
“My Little Chickadee” (1940) Starring W.C. Fields, Mae West, Joseph Callieia, Dick Foran, Margaret Hamilton, Donald Meek, Ruth Donnelly. Written by Mae West, W.C. Fields. Directed by Edward F. Cline. What would appear to be a comic match made in … Continue reading
Chandler’s Trailers: “The Boys From Brazil” (1978)
Beware actors who protest their image too much. In the case of Franklin J. Schaffner’s “The Boys From Brazil”, the thespian in question is none other than venerable good guy Gregory Peck who makes a career backflip to … Continue reading
Chandler’s Trailers: “Batman Returns” (1992)
Tim Burton’s second film outing exploring Gotham City’s Caped Crusader is once again long on annoying guest villains and short on the main character. Though cheerfully absent of the destructive narcissism of a particular Nicholson, the film is … Continue reading
Concession Stand Bites: “Airport” (1970)
“Airport” (1970) Starring Burt Lancaster, Dean Martin, Jean Seberg, George Kennedy, Helen Hayes, Van Heflin, Maureen Stapleton, Lloyd Nolan. Directed by George Seaton. Written by George Seaton, based on the novel by Arthur Hailey. The film credited with instigating the … Continue reading
A Not So Fine Madness: “A Reflection of Fear” (1972)
“A Reflection of Fear” (1972) Cinematographers who assume the director’s mantle often produce movies which heavily favor the visual rather than the contextually comprehensible, with the fledgling filmmaker often failing to make allowances for the fact … Continue reading
Chandler’s Trailers: “Invasion U.S.A.” (1952)
“Invasion U.S.A.” (1952) If one can imagine a production of “The Time of Your Life” reconstituted with “Fail-Safe”, you might get a pretty good idea of the awkward Cold War civics lesson that is “Invasion U.S.A.”, a collection of mismatched … Continue reading
Ballot Stuffing: “Linda Lovelace for President” (1975)
“Linda Lovelace for President” (1975) Chances are that if a movie announces upfront that it intends to offend every member of the audience, the results will be fairly pedestrian, as a truly provocative … Continue reading
Ups and Downs: “The Man Who Skied Down Everest” (1975)
“The Man Who Skied Down Everest” (1975) When George Mallory famously responded to the question as to why he wanted to climb Mount Everest with the seemingly flippant remark- “Because it’s there” -his brief answer would … Continue reading
Party Crashers: “The Penthouse” (1967)
“The Penthouse” (1967) Two strangely loquacious thugs named Tom (Tony Beckley) and Dick (Norman Rodway) stage an early morning invasion of a penthouse apartment, occupied by Bruce (Terence Morgan), a real estate broker … Continue reading
Chandler’s Trailers: “Frogs” (1972)
“Frogs” (1972) Nature photographer Pickett Smith (Sam Elliot, sans dashing lip brush) finds his canoe capsized due to inconsiderate nautical etiquette and finds himself a guest of wheelchair bound curmudgeon Jason Crockett (Ray Milland, under a dashing Panama hat), island patriarch of … Continue reading
From the Ashes: “Frankenstein” (1910)
“Frankenstein” (1910) Though appreciably compromised in its filmic translation from the novel by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (an introductory title acknowledges the film to be a “liberal adaptation”), not only due … Continue reading
Shooting Blanks: “Inseminoid” (1981)
“Inseminoid” (1981) With imitation being the shortest route to the creation of bad movies, it was only a matter of counting down the minutes before “Alien”, a prestige recycling of the … Continue reading
Soulless: “Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS” (1975)
“Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS” (1975) If history doesn’t present us with enough examples of inhuman atrocity, leave it to the movie industry to feel compelled to invent a peculiar hybrid combining the … Continue reading
Mother Knows Best: “Career Bed” (1969)
“Career Bed” (1969) “Don’t give up your virginity for some silly boy, it’s too important an asset.” With motherly advice like this is it any wonder … Continue reading
Chandler’s Trailers: “Terror in the Wax Museum” (1973)
“Terror in the Wax Museum” (1973) When the body of Chamber of Horrors wax museum proprietor Claude Dupree (John Carradine) is discovered stabbed with the scalpel of his waxworks Jack the Ripper, can an obligatory stacking of bodies be far … Continue reading
City of Fallen Angels: “To Live and Die in L.A.” (1985)
“To Live and Die in L.A.” (1985) Former Secret Service agent Gerald Petievich’s novel “To Live and Die in L.A.” might have seemed a natural for cinematic adaptation, given that the book is written in such a lean, … Continue reading
Labor Pains: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Sept. 2018 Edition, Vol. 925/Remedial Reprint
_______________________________________________________________ Labor Pains: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Sept. 2018 Edition, Vol. 925/Remedial Reprint The American cinema celebrates many things- vacuous comic book heroics, scatological crudity, infantilism, serial sadism, non-NRA gun violence -but the labors of the American working … Continue reading