Category Archives: humor

Chandler’s Trailers: “Down and Dirty Duck” (1974)

“Down and Dirty Duck”  (1974)  Buoyed by the financial success of Ralph Bakshi’s X-rated animated feature “Fritz the Cat”, several attempts were made to legitimize a solid commercial market for adult oriented animated features. Though certainly not as technically proficient … Continue reading

Posted in animation, cartoons, comedy, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, writing | 1 Comment

Going to the Chapel: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Nov. 2019 Edition, Vol. XXXI

Going to the Chapel:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Nov. 2019 Edition, Vol. XXXI     This month’s offering comes with the dual purpose of pointing out the intellectual deficiencies of our readers (glad to do it) and to seek … Continue reading

Posted in Alfred Hitchcock, animation, art house cinema, books, British films, History, humor, Movies, politics, religion, writing | 4 Comments

Dear Cinema Santa: 2018 Edition

         Dear Cinema Santa:  2018 Edition     Once again dear friends (and you folks in Vermont) it is that time to weigh in on the past year’s accumulation of greedy impulses and dissatisfaction with the world … Continue reading

Posted in art house cinema, blogging, Boston, Christmas, holidays, humor, Mai Zetterling., Movies, theater, vermont, women, writing | 5 Comments

Seasons Gratings: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, 2018 Advent Calendar Edition, Vol. 50% off

Seasons Gratings: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, 2018 Advent Calendar Edition, Vol. 50% off     In observance of this festive holiday season, the good folk at Chandler Swain Reviews have decided to desist from the usual obvious jabs at Hillary … Continue reading

Posted in books, Boston, Christmas, Doris Day, holidays, humor, Movies, photography, politics, theater, women, writing | 8 Comments

Sweet Sixteen Party, or: Men Bad- A Demented World of Women in Peril: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Special Congressional Misandry Edition, Vol.37-24-36

Sweet Sixteen Party, or: Men Bad- A Demented World of Women in Peril:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Special Congressional Misandry Edition, Vol. 37-24-36     Caught in a fashionable wave of gender activism, in which the very use of … Continue reading

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My Dog Didn’t Eat My Homework, He Wrote It: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Mid-May 2018 Edition, Vol. K9

My Dog Didn’t Eat My Homework, He Wrote It:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Mid-May 2018 Edition, Vol. K9    In deference to the mass fraud being perpetuated on a global scale by the proponents of  the British Tourism Council … Continue reading

Posted in animation, books, Boston, Culture, Disney, humor, Movies, Romance, weddings, yul brynner films | Tagged , | 6 Comments

And a Little Child Shall Lead Them: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, May 2018 Edition, Vol. K – 6

And a Little Child Shall Lead Them: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, May 2018 Edition, Vol. K – 6      Why does it seem that the very idea of “good”children has been abandoned? The bawling spoiled moppets who pollute every … Continue reading

Posted in book reviews, books, British films, children, French cinema, History, humor, Italian cinema, Movies, parenting, Romance, westerns, writing | 7 Comments

Habit Forming: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, April 2018 Edition, Vol. 3:10

Posted in biography, books, History, humor, Movies, Musicals, religion, war movies, westerns, women, writing | Tagged | 10 Comments

Ups and Downs: Classic Film Photo Quiz, March 2018 Edition, Vol. B-10

Ups and Downs: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, March 2018 Edition, Vol. B-10     Life has its ups and downs. One day you’re assured to ascend to the throne of power armed with a sense of entitlement second only … Continue reading

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The Only Way to Fly: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Feb. 2018 Edition, Vol. 747

The Only Way to Fly: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Feb. 2018 Edition, Vol. 747      How often does this happen to you? You are waiting in endless airport security lines. The attending TSA agents are more suspiciously handsy … Continue reading

Posted in books, clint eastwood, comedy, humor, James Stewart, John Wayne, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, silent movies, war movies, writing | Tagged | 5 Comments

Mug Shots: “Take the Money and Run” (1969)

      “Take the Money and Run”  (1969)    “Take the Money and Run”, Woody Allen’s directorial debut, is a parody of the crime profile documentary, and as such is not a particularly challenging nor original vehicle for a fledgling … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, crime, Documentaries, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, Woody Allen, writing | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Dear Cinema Santa: 2017 Edition

       Dear Cinema Santa:  2017 Edition   Light up boys and girls and all of the ships at sea, for once again we’ve arrived at that time of the year in which the bonds of a year filled … Continue reading

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Damsels in Distress: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Oct. 2017 Edition, Vol. o – o

Damsels in Distress: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Oct, 2017 Edition, Vol. o – o      It may be politically incorrect to point out the obvious fact that holding a door open for a lady might well bring widespread … Continue reading

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What a Dip: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, August 2017 Edition, Vol. H2O

What a Dip: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, August 2017 Edition, Vol. H2O     During the current climate in which it seems many who should know better, by all appearances, are all wet, allow us to present this month’s … Continue reading

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Build the Wall: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2017 Edition, Vol. 1812

Build the Wall: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2017 Edition, Vol. 1812 Walls are structural. Walls are decorative. It seems that, lately, talk of building walls has become in vogue, as the attractiveness of just thinking about constructing barriers … Continue reading

Posted in books, espionage, History, horror, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Musicals, Mystery, Reviews, women, writing | 6 Comments

мать, Mayday I?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz; May 2017 Edition; Vol. 80 proof

мать, Mayday I?:  Classic Film Images Photo       Quiz; May 2017 Edition; Vol. 80 proof      Greetinks Komrades. Admittedly it was a difficult task to conceive of, compile and complete this month’s edition of Amerika’s favorite non-nuclear … Continue reading

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Are Those Odor Eaters Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?; Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, April 2017 Edition, Vol. 46%

Are Those Odor Eaters Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?; Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, April 2017 Edition, Vol. 46%     Being that films are occasionally regarded as “motion” pictures, it seems reasonable that in bringing a … Continue reading

Posted in books, crime, Film, horror, humor, Jim Brown, movie reviews, Movies, Mystery, Reviews, westerns, women | 3 Comments

If I Fell: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz; March 2017 Edition, Vol. 543210

If I Fell: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz; March 2017 Edition, Vol. 543210     If life teaches us anything, it is that gravity is not our friend (neither are silly award show envelope fumbling accountants [Fake News Encounters of … Continue reading

Posted in books, comedy, Film, History, Hitchcock, horror, humor, movie reviews, Movies, politics, religion, Reviews, women, writing | 2 Comments

Dangerous Dames: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Feb. 2017, Vol. 36-24-36

Dangerous Dames: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Feb. 2017 Edition, Vol. 36-24-36      “Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble”: resounds the infamous witch’s incantation exemplified by the vomitable vaudeville warblings currently on display by the intellectually challenged trio of Beltway harridans … Continue reading

Posted in books, crime, Film, film noir, horror, humor, movie reviews, Movies, politics, Reviews, women, writing | 1 Comment

Time is a Cruel Mistress: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Jan. 2017 Edition, Vol. 1812

Time is a Cruel Mistress: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Jan. 2017 Edition, Vol. 1812     One of the odd paradoxes occurring with each New Year’s holiday is the assertion that it is a year later, when in fact … Continue reading

Posted in book reviews, books, Boston, Film, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Puzzles, Reviews, Romance, women | 1 Comment

The Gift That Keeps On Giving: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2016 Edition, Vol. 241

The Gift That Keeps on Giving:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2016 Edition, Vol. 241     It is said that it is better to give than to receive, though this overlooks the fact that in the act of … Continue reading

Posted in books, Christmas, Film, History, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Musicals, Reviews, Romance, westerns, women, writing | 3 Comments

“Get Off Our Land, White Man” (The Rest of You Too): Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, November 2016 Edition, Vol. 1620

“Get Off Our Land, White Man” (The Rest of You Too): Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, November 2016 Edition, Vol. 1620    This year, the season of Thanksgiving finds greater than normal reasons to give thanks, not the least of … Continue reading

Posted in animation, biography, books, Film, History, humor, movie reviews, Movies, politics, Reviews, westerns, women | Tagged | 2 Comments

Who Was That Masked Man and/or Lady?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Oct. 2016 Edition, Vol. 00/00

Who Was That Masked Man (and/or) Lady?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, October 2016 Edition, Vol. 00/00     With the arrival of the traditional time of year for the emergence of chain rattling ghosts of the past, evil goblins, … Continue reading

Posted in books, erotica, Film, Film Reviews, History, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, Romance, women | 1 Comment

Why Can’t a Woman Be More Like a Man?: Classic film Photo Quiz, Sept. 2016 Edition; Vol. 362436

Why Can’t a Woman Be More Like a Man?: Classic Film Photo Quiz, Sept. 2016 Edition, Vol. 362436     If the events of the recent political season have taught us anything, it’s that women have achieved a true equality … Continue reading

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No More Undocumented Aliens!: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, August 2016 Edition, Vol. 30, 000, 000

No More Undocumented Aliens!: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, August 2016 Edition, Vol. 30,000,000     If we have learned anything from this election season, it is that it has never been more imperative that the sanctity of national borders … Continue reading

Posted in books, fantasy, Film, Hammer films, horror films, humor, movie reviews, Movies, politics, Reviews, Romance, science fiction, women, writing | Tagged | 2 Comments

Life in Bloom: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, May 2016 Edition, Vol. 111

Life in Bloom:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, May 2016 Edition, Vol. 111     Despite the grand apocalyptic allusions to global warming, orbital rotational shifts or the mysterious shortage of stylishly lapelled union suits, there can be no question that Spring is … Continue reading

Posted in blogs, books, Entertainment, Film, food, humor, Movies, Musicals, photography, Puzzles, Reviews, Romance, theater, women, writing | 3 Comments

March Madness: Classic Film Photo Quiz, March 2016 Edition, Vol. 33

MARCH MADNESS: Classic Film Photo Quiz, March 2016 Edition, Vol. 33        Welcome to the headquarters of cynical, uncaring, insubordinate, insensitive, boorish, childish behavior-  OK, outside of the current carnival sideshow masquerading as a job interview for the nation’s … Continue reading

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TEARS ON MY PILLOW: Classic Film Images Quiz, Feb. 2016 Edition, Vol. 66

TEARS ON MY PILLOW:  Classic Film Images Quiz, February 2016 Edition, Vol. 66     Tears of sadness, tears of gladness, tears of sorrow and tears of joy. One thing is for certain: the movies are awash in a flood … Continue reading

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Baby, You Can Drive My Car: Classic Movie Photo Quiz, Jan. 2016 Edition, Vol. 500

Baby, You Can Drive My Car: Classic Movie Photo Quiz, Jan. 2016 Edition, Vol. 500      Sometimes it simply seems a burden in being a film critic, but evidently  that is child’s play in comparison with the Sisyphean effort women … Continue reading

Posted in blogs, comedy, crime, Film, Film Reviews, Hitchcock, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Puzzles, Reviews, women, writing | 2 Comments

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY TWO FRONT SEATS: 2015 SANTA CINEMA WISHLIST

         DEAR CINEMA SANTA, 2015 EDITION      During this festive season, when the brief wisps of sunlight become briefer, granting increased concession to the agents of nocturnal chills, howling blasts of wind and the occasional welcome … Continue reading

Posted in Canada, Christmas, Culture, DVD, Film, Film Reviews, food, gene hackman, holidays, humor, Movies, Television, theaters | 2 Comments

Eucharist With Holy Water Chaser: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2015 Edition, Vol. 3:10

Eucharist With Holy Water Chaser:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2015 Edition, Vol. 3:10       Being That December signifies several of the most important spiritual days of the calendar year: Christmas and Pearl Harbor Day (when the … Continue reading

Posted in black cinema, blogs, books, Charlton Heston, Christmas, Film Reviews, Hammer films, holidays, humor, movie reviews, Movies, photography, Puzzles, religion, women | Leave a comment

Pressure Point: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, October 2015 Edition, Vol. 40

PRESSURE POINT: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, October 2015 Edition, Vol. 40  If one thing is certain, it’s that if the current White House claims the world is enjoying an historically unprecedented condition of peace and harmony, you had better … Continue reading

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From the Crazy, Mixed-Up Files of Chandler Swain: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, September 2015 Edition, Vol. 411

From the Crazy Mixed-Up Files of Chandler Swain:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, September 2015 Edition, Vol. 411 MEMO FROM THE LET’S GET SOMETHING OFF OF OUR CHEST DEPT: There comes a time in the life of every website when a digital version … Continue reading

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La beauté du monde: Classic Film Images Quiz, August 2015 Edition, Vol. 36-24-36

La beauté du monde: Film Images Quiz, August 2015 Edition, Vol. 36-24-36      Welcome all purveyors of cinematic curiosity to yet another edition of America’s most pointless monthly game, and a source of possible future litigation by the National Organization … Continue reading

Posted in cinema, comedy, Culture, Film, French cinema, German cinema, horror, humor, Italian cinema, Movies, Mystery, Puzzles, sex, theater, women | 1 Comment

“Bend Over and Cough”: Classic Film Images Quiz, July 2015 Edition, Vol. RX VII

“Bend Over and Cough”:  CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ,  July, 2015 Edition, Vol. RX VII      Greetings and salutations, to all Obamacare insured and all other ships adrift at sea, and welcome to another unnecessary edition of that most irritating … Continue reading

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Zzzzzzz: CLASSIC FILM PHOTO QUIZ, JUNE 2015 EDITION, VOL. 987654321

Zzzzzzz:  Classic Film Photo Quiz, June 2015 Edition, Vol. 987654321      Another month has come and gone and that can only mean one thing (well, actually it could mean several things, but time is short, though not as short … Continue reading

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Chandler’s Mission to Mars: You Too Can Be an Astronaut (don’t forget your toothbrush)

     With all of the recent excited chatter (well… maybe not so much, but play along) concerning a possible one-way voyage to the Red Planet (Hopefully, this is not another name for “Commies in Space”!), it behooves the minds … Continue reading

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Soldier Boy: CLASSIC FILM IMAGES PHOTO QUIZ, MARCH 2015 EDITION, VOL. 1234

SOLDIER BOY:  MARCH 2015 CLASSIC FILM IMAGES PHOTO QUIZ, VOL. 1234 It’s March, that time of the year again when the Ides signify the assassination of Roman dictators, madness creeps into college basketball ranks and most importantly it is time for … Continue reading

Posted in books, comedy, Film, food, grindhouse, History, humor, Jim Brown, Movies, politics, Reviews, Romance, silent movies, war movies, World War II, writing | 1 Comment

SPECIAL SUPER BOWL EDITION: FEB. 2015 CLASSIC MOVIE IMAGES QUIZ, VOL. 39-27

Once again it is time for America’s favorite competitive game- no not that sorry excuse of homoerotic excess (outside of a stag film where can you see more concentrated hugging, butt slapping and feverish embracing?) called American football  -but the … Continue reading

Posted in blogs, Charlton Heston, comedy, Film, football, humor, John Wayne, Movies, Puzzles, sports | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

I Been Naughty But in a Nice Way: Cinematic Santa Wish List for 2014

    In the continuous spirit of the late lamented Sears Wish Book- that compendium of childhood greed (ignoring the adult sections which focused more on anti-urchin merchandise such as clothing and dehumidifiers) that provided invaluable practical experience in the lost … Continue reading

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NOVEMBER 2014 CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ, VOL. 5050

“Don’t do as we do, do as we say!”: Mid-Term Election Edition: November 2014 Classic Film Images Quiz, Vol. 5050      To those selfish American citizens who enter into the month of November only with eager thoughts of holiday cheer … Continue reading

Posted in books, Culture, Film, Film Reviews, Gary Oldman, History, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Musicals, politics, Puzzles, Reviews, theater | Tagged , | 2 Comments

New 2014 Fall Film Course Offerings

The Film School at Smarterin University has just announced five new course offerings for the upcoming 2014 Fall Semester: PERSPECTIVES OF ADVANCED AESTHETIC INTERPRETATION: THE MOVEMENT TOWARD  IN PROGRESSIVE STYLISTIC BACK PEDDLING The course will follow the movement of avant-garde … Continue reading

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AUGUST 2014 CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ, VOL. 222

TEACH YOUR CHILDREN EDITION:  AUGUST 2014 CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ, Vol. 222 Welcome back to America’s favorite waste of time and space (that’s SCIENCE 101, baby), the CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ, brought to you by those wonderful folks who foil … Continue reading

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CLASSIC FILM IMAGES PHOTO QUIZ: VOL. 690

SINEMA CINEMA, FOREPLAY EDITION: MARCH 2014 CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ, VOL. 690 Despite the resultant smoking craters, scattered casualties and ruined lives left in permanent disarray by way of recent unfortunate events- no we’re not referring to the unrest in … Continue reading

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Conquered From Within: “Mars Attacks!” (1996)

      Don’t arrive late for “Mars Attacks” as the most fun to be had with the film is during the opening credits, a thoroughly witty,  jazzy sequence with an armada of spinning saucers skittering through space to the … Continue reading

Posted in 1990's movies, comedy, Film, Film Reviews, humor, Jim Brown, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, science fiction, writing | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pratfalls on the Page: The Screwball Comedy Films: A History and Filmography, 1934 – 1942 by Duane Byrge and Robert Milton Miller

      It takes ambition to tackle the definition of entire genre of movie storytelling (if one is looking for substance), especially within the almost impossible to analyze field of comedy (just how do you explain funny anyway?), and perhaps more … Continue reading

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Classic Film Images Photo Quiz: Vol. 121

“OUT, DAMNED SPOUSE!”: FEB. 2014 CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ, VOL. 121      Painful as it may be to admit, the only reason for men and women to interact is to give a boost to Jane Seymour’s post-acting career as a … Continue reading

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Alley Oops: “The Croods” (2013)

           For an example of what is despairingly wrong with modern animation features, one needs look no further than “The Croods”, an example of what appears to be the new industry penchant for “animation release of the week”,  with … Continue reading

Posted in 3-D MOVIES, animation, children, comedy, Film Reviews, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Classic Film Images Photo Quiz: Vol. 2014

YOU’VE NEVER LOOKED BETTER, NOW THAT YOUR FACE IS PARALYZED WITH BOTOX:  JANUARY 2014 CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ, VOL. 2014      Here we are again with America’s favorite waste of time, the monthly Classic Film Images Quiz, brought to you … Continue reading

Posted in art house cinema, blogging, cinema, Culture, Drive-In Movies, Film, Film Reviews, humor, Jean-Louis Trintignant, John Wayne, movie reviews, Movies, Puzzles, Reviews, women | 1 Comment

A Cinema Wish List for Santa

    Time again for major disappointment. It’s no secret that Chandler’s been a bad kid once again and will get the sock of coal (or the promise of a continued career of Jennifer Aniston, which is infinitely worse as coal … Continue reading

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