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The Discreet Posts of the Bourgeoisie
- Chandler’s Trailers: “The Alphabet Murders” (1965)
- Chandler’s Trailers: “The Card Counter” (2021)
- Chandler’s Trailers: “The Hound of the Baskervilles” (1978)
- Suspicious Minds: “Elvis” (2022)
- Dear Cinema Santa: 2022 Edition
- “There Ain’t No Sanity Clause”: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2022 Edition, Vol. 12.25
- Untrue Confessions: “Witchfinder General” (1968)
- Concession Stand Bites: “Belfast” (2021)
- Vacancy: “Hotel” (1967)
- Haven’t We Killed Here Before?: “The Formula” (1980)
- Railroaded: “Fool’s Parade” (1971)
- TCM’s Chicken or Egg Conundrum
- Chandler’s Trailers: “The Batman” (2022)
- Boom and Boom Again: “The Suicide Squad” (2021)
- Concession Stand Bites: “The Legend of the Lone Ranger” (1981)
- Bats: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2022 Edition, Vol. 9
- Entropy Is What It Used To Be: “Tenet” (2020)
- Blood and Sand: “The Longest Day” (1962)
- Barred: Classic Film Photo Quiz, June 2022 Edition, Vol. 25 – Life
- Eye of the Needle: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, April 2022 Edition, Vol. 60
- Repeating Trifle: “Comanche Territory” (1950)
- When Your Fingers Did the Walking: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, March 2022 Edition, Vol. 411
- Slippery Slopes: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Feb. 2022 Edition, Vol. -10
- Whiskers: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Jan. 2022 Edition, Vol. 9
- Have I Got A Girl For You: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2021 Edition, Vol. 35mm
- Smoke Gets In Your Eyes: Classic Film Image Photo Quiz, Nov. 2021 Edition, Vol. 3000
- Pedalers: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Oct. 2021 Edition, Vol. 400.6
- They Had Lenses Then: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Sept. 2021 Edition, Vol. 35mm
- Exeunt, Joan: “Trog” (1970)
- They Shoot Bad Movies Don’t They?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Aug. 2021 Edition, Vol. 35MM
- …On Gossamer Wings: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2021 Edition, Vol. 0G
- Swamp Thang: “‘Gator Bait” (1974)
- Blood and Sand: “The Longest Day” (1962)
- Memorium: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2021 Edition, Vol. 6
- Horse Sense: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, May 2021 Edition, Vol. 6 Hands
- Without a Clue: “The Stone Killer” (1973)
- Strange Bedfellows: “Public Affairs” (1983)
- Isn’t Running a Sign You’re Up to No-Good?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Apr. 2021 Edition, Vol. 26.2
- All Creatures Great and Small: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, March 2021 Edition, Vol. 46XXL
- In the Realm of the Insensible: “Jade” (1995)
- Jungle Daze: “Trader Horn” (1973)
- Lurching: “The Addams Family” (2019)
- Noir!: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Feb. 2021 Edition, Vol. .38
- Thundering Cliff Notes: “Tombstone” (1993)
- Riding Off Into the Rising Sunset: “Red Sun” (1971)
- Lucky 2021: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Jan. 2021 Edition, Vol. 0-0
- Getting Crabs: “Attack of the Crab Monsters” (1957)
- Black and White in Color: “In the Heat of the Night” (1967)
- Castle Redux: “Two on a Guillotine” (1965)
- Heart of Darkness: “Justice League” (2017)
“They! They!”
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A review of Tim Burton's SF satire "MARS ATTACKS!" starring Jack Nicholson, Rod Steiger, Martin Short, Jim Brown and Lisa Marie.
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THE SEEKING OF WISDOM
FILMS DEMANDING REDISCOVERY:
Michelangelo Antonioni's neglected "Identificazione di una donna" relinquishes the metaphysical mire which had plagued the director for over a decade, and offered an introspective view of life, creation, sex and love. A film worthy of attention and serious reappraisal.
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Converting Populist Stooges Into Critical Thinkers In The Blink Of An Eye!
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The essential 1967 Russian film "Viy" was actually the first horror film produced in the Soviet regime.
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LEGAL THREATS & BOSSY MUMBO JUMBO
All material displayed is protected under copyright 2011 by Chandler Swain, Chandler Swain Reviews and parent companies therefore and whatnot. No material will be copied without the written permission of above parties unless the offender wishes to suffer a cruel fate worse than any experienced by a spouse of any reality program housewife, skank or pseudo-trash celebrity. Thou hast been warned. Just kidding.RECOMMENDED SOUNDTRACKS
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FEARLESS LEADER
THE CRITICAL ESTABLISHMENT : AN INTRODUCTION
What is it we seek from the Cinema? It all depends on your point of view.
For some, the movies are a source of seeking refuge from everyday existence, a release from daily tensions and anxieties. This is escapism and it has been the driving factor of the Populist attraction to the movies since the origin of the form. However, if one were to alter the view and regard film without merely the Populist limitations of escapist diversion but also as an Art Form, the perspective deepens and enters the realm of Critical Thought.
Though inconsistent in perspective, each side has validity, and is actually far more dependent on the existence of the other than would first seem possible. In a nutshell, it is a battleground between perceived verisimilitude against the aesthetic Ideal.
In formulating the foundations of The Critical Establishment,
it is necessary to understand the characteristics of each perspective, to note the seemingly contradictory similarities and disparities, and their often inextricable interconnections.THE CRITICAL ESTABLISHMENT : The Reviewer as Vox Populi
In examining both Populist thought and Critical Thinking in Film, it is useful to define the key players in the field: the reviewers and the critics. Though seemingly cut from the same cloth, there is a world of difference. Reviewers are the professional manifestation of the Populist front; reviewers have a primary focus on entertainment value while critics evaluate under an aesthetic criteria, reviewers reward immediate gratification whereas critics seek artistry.
With the burgeoning of internet filmspeak, there is a misconception that the old model of printed press criticism is being eroded by the emergence of an equal internet critical roster. This, however, is a fallacy. One thing is for certain, even with a cursory glance at popular internet movie sites: reviewers are plentiful and genuine criticism of merit is as scarce as water in the Mojave Desert.
The reviewer will generally spend the bulk of their time reprinting the plot synopsis of a film, often almost verbatim from the printed materials of the studio. While this assists handily in filling a column, it does little to illuminate the worth of a film. The reviewer will often spend an inordinate amount of time relaying such unessential data as background gossip, "best" lists and an alarming volume of space on film finances- usually relating to either the film's budget (as if the writer had a financial stake in the enterprise) or opening weekend receipts, neither of which has the slightest bearing on the film's aesthetic achievement.
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- Matinees at the Franklin Cinema
- Momento Mori
- Multiplex Movies
- NIGHTS AT THE ASPEN HILL CINEMA
- NIGHTS AT THE CINEMA 733
- Nights at the Coolidge Corner Theatre
- Nights at the KB Cinemas
- Nights at the Langley Theater
- Nights at the Laurel Drive-In
- Nights at the Orson Welles Cinema
- Nights at the PARK SQUARE CINEMA
- Nights at the Roth Theaters
- Nights at the Sack Cinemas
- Nights at the Silver Theater
- NIGHTS AT THE ST. GEORGE THEATER
- Nights at the State Theater
- NIGHTS AT THE UPTOWN THEATER, WASHINGTON D.C.
- NIGHTS AT THE WHEATON PLAZA PLAYHOUSE
- NITES AT THE SHOPPERS WORLD CINEMA
- POSTS AND RECENT THINKINGS
- Poverty Row
- Remembrance of Films Forgotten
- Retired Puzzles
- Sexual Politics in the Cinema
- SHORT FILMS: The Other Cinema
- The Concession Stand III: Guns of the Quick Nibble Reviews
- THE FILM VAULT: INDEX OF REVIEWED FILMS
- Views From The Screening Room
- WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF CINEMA
- Notes From The Critical Establishment
- NOW PLAYING AT THE MERCADO CINEMA
- THE MERCADO LOUNGE: a rest stop for the Critical Mind
- The Hollywood Bookshelf
- CHANDLER SWAIN REVIEWS: NITES AT THE DRIVE-IN CINEMA
- The Concession Stand: Quick Nibble Reviews
- CHANDLER SWAIN REVIEWS: ART HOUSE CINEMA
- Chandler Swain Reviews: The Silents
- Sticky Floors, Stained Screens: Days & Nights at The Grindhouse
Category Archives: Culture
Dear Cinema Santa: 2022 Edition
Dear Cinema Santa: 2022 Edition ‘Tis the time of year when Hollywood winds down into its shameless baiting for award season recognition with the latest slate of feel-good holiday slasher films, scatalogical comedies and finger-wagging agenda dramas aimed at deflating … Continue reading
“There Ain’t No Sanity Clause”: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2022 Edition, Vol. 12.25
“There Ain’t No Sanity Clause”: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2022 Edition, Vol. 12.25 With all due deference to Chico Marx, with the approach of that most irresistible season of blind avarice, it is incumbent on that deservedly … Continue reading
TCM’s Chicken or Egg Conundrum
In the 1974 film “Chinatown”, a gleefully corrupt Noah Cross sagely observes: “Politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable with age”. Add bad movies to that short list and he might have had something there. Periodically, … Continue reading
Chandler’s Trailers: “The Batman” (2022)
“Batman, The” (2022) Overlong, needlessly murky (both visually and narratively) and prone to a pretension that its concession to the most predictable standards of the genre fails to merit, “The Batman” is the umpteenth origin story of the Caped crusader; … Continue reading
Dear Cinema Santa: 2020 Edition
Dear Cinema Santa: 2020 Edition To crown this year of joviality and conviviality (we only eliminated four enemies all year, so we … Continue reading
No Explanation Necessary…
Happy MOTHER Day, CSR-Style
A Holiday Missive to “MOTHER” Given that the average male Yale graduate’s (we’ve talked to ’em… they’re a sad bunch) day is given over to dealing with feelings of guilt and inadequacy so deeply ingrained … Continue reading
Nakedly Revealing: “Oh! Calcutta!” (1972)
` “Oh! Calcutta!” (1972) “In America, sex is an obsession. In other parts of the world, it’s a fact.” … Continue reading
Vacancy: “Cancel My Reservation” (1972)
“Cancel My Reservation” (1972) Bob Hope’s last starring film role is so wince inducing, audience members may be in danger of developing permanent facial tics. This would-be murder mystery, based on a novel … Continue reading
State of the Art: Isn’t Brie Just Another Name For Cheese?
At a recent celebration of the annual Women in Film Crystal + Lucy Awards (which once again demonstrated that [1] all of the good names for award presentations have already been taken, and [2] if there were … Continue reading
My Dog Didn’t Eat My Homework, He Wrote It: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Mid-May 2018 Edition, Vol. K9
My Dog Didn’t Eat My Homework, He Wrote It: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Mid-May 2018 Edition, Vol. K9 In deference to the mass fraud being perpetuated on a global scale by the proponents of the British Tourism Council … Continue reading
Stolen Kisses: The Birth of Adult Cinema
The Birth of Adult Cinema: “The Kiss” / “Après le bal” (1896/1897) “I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description [“hard-core pornography”] as I … Continue reading
Black Gowns Matter: Hollywood Explains It All To You
Black Gowns Matter: Hollywood Explains It All To You Ah, the Golden Globe Awards, that monument to critical integrity that once put Pia Zadora on the map by way of the deep pocket resources of the reckless … Continue reading
A View From the Dark: Movie Freak by Owen Gleiberman
A View From the Dark: Movie Freak by Owen Gleiberman The appetite publishers seem to have for printing the memoirs of even the most irrelevant movie personalities appears insatiable; so much so that in recent years this pseudo-gossipy, trivially anecdotal framework … Continue reading
Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow: A Death of the Day of CFU
Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow: A Death of the Day of CFU It was a long time coming. The January 11 cessation of the very existence of the CFU (Classic Film Union) branch of the TCM website, came as not … Continue reading
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY TWO FRONT SEATS: 2015 SANTA CINEMA WISHLIST
DEAR CINEMA SANTA, 2015 EDITION During this festive season, when the brief wisps of sunlight become briefer, granting increased concession to the agents of nocturnal chills, howling blasts of wind and the occasional welcome … Continue reading
Blue Lives Matter: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, November 2015 Edition, Vol 10-4
BLUE LIVES MATTER: CLASSIC FILM IMAGES PHOTO QUIZ, NOV. 2015 EDITION, VOL. 10-4 Consider for a moment the sad state of societal disorder in which divisive intolerance has become a favored substitution for erudite enlightenment and a ludicrous … Continue reading
Garters, Glitter and Gauze: “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” (1975)
“The Rocky Horror Picture Show” (1975) Frank N. Stein: There’s no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure. Audience Response (Boston): There is in Massachusetts. Long a staple of the disappearing urban … Continue reading
Pressure Point: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, October 2015 Edition, Vol. 40
PRESSURE POINT: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, October 2015 Edition, Vol. 40 If one thing is certain, it’s that if the current White House claims the world is enjoying an historically unprecedented condition of peace and harmony, you had better … Continue reading
La beauté du monde: Classic Film Images Quiz, August 2015 Edition, Vol. 36-24-36
La beauté du monde: Film Images Quiz, August 2015 Edition, Vol. 36-24-36 Welcome all purveyors of cinematic curiosity to yet another edition of America’s most pointless monthly game, and a source of possible future litigation by the National Organization … Continue reading
Chandler’s Mission to Mars: You Too Can Be an Astronaut (don’t forget your toothbrush)
With all of the recent excited chatter (well… maybe not so much, but play along) concerning a possible one-way voyage to the Red Planet (Hopefully, this is not another name for “Commies in Space”!), it behooves the minds … Continue reading
NOVEMBER 2014 CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ, VOL. 5050
“Don’t do as we do, do as we say!”: Mid-Term Election Edition: November 2014 Classic Film Images Quiz, Vol. 5050 To those selfish American citizens who enter into the month of November only with eager thoughts of holiday cheer … Continue reading
Chandler’s Trailers: “The Sessions” (2012)
“The Sessions” is a small, unassuming film which has all of the ingredients people used to go to the movies for: a compelling story filled with intelligent, appealing characters who are written with a real ear for how people … Continue reading
New 2014 Fall Film Course Offerings
The Film School at Smarterin University has just announced five new course offerings for the upcoming 2014 Fall Semester: PERSPECTIVES OF ADVANCED AESTHETIC INTERPRETATION: THE MOVEMENT TOWARD IN PROGRESSIVE STYLISTIC BACK PEDDLING The course will follow the movement of avant-garde … Continue reading
AUGUST 2014 CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ, VOL. 222
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN EDITION: AUGUST 2014 CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ, Vol. 222 Welcome back to America’s favorite waste of time and space (that’s SCIENCE 101, baby), the CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ, brought to you by those wonderful folks who foil … Continue reading
State of the Cinema: Why Movies Seem as Bad as They Probably Aren’t
They Shoot Bad Movies, Don’t They? First of all, if we follow the general route of the Internet and limit our discussion on the current state of Cinema by primarily spotlighting the most commercial and (not coincidentally) the most … Continue reading
They Came to Coddle: “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” (1977)
Steven Spielberg’s “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” is dazzling when it is showcasing the talents of special effects designer Douglas Trumbull and his crew but falls precipitously on the scale of artistic ambition when the focus in … Continue reading
See No Evil: “This Film is Not Yet Rated” (2006)
Lighthearted documentary with a serious subject: the secretive and abusive authority held by the shadowy MPAA and it’s anonymous ratings board over the most important developing art form of the past 100 years and how this untrained, uninformed … Continue reading
Darkest Heart: “Africa, Addio!” (1966)
“Africa, Addio!” is a follow up offering by the “documentarians” Gualtiero Jacopetti and Franco E. Prospere who produced the popular “Mondo Cane”. The film is filled with gorgeous imagery; the kind of cinematography that normally enraptures the senses and … Continue reading
Hardly A Pretty Picture: “Not a Love Story: A Film About Pornography” (1981)
One of the most immediately promising aspects of Bonnie Sherr Klein’s anti-pornography documentary “Not A Love Story: A Motion Picture About Pornography” is the fact it is a product of Canada, and as such will not be immediately weighed down … Continue reading
A View From the Cheap Seats: “The Movie That Changed My Life” edited by David Rosenberg
With the wealth (actually gluttonous overabundance) of film books published examining, probing, criticizing, reinterpreting, psychoanalyzing, and performing generally obscure, obtuse and cryptic academic microsurgery-some so labyrinthine in the expression of an aesthetic philosophy, they might as well be expressed … Continue reading
Classic Film Images Photo Quiz: Vol. 2014
YOU’VE NEVER LOOKED BETTER, NOW THAT YOUR FACE IS PARALYZED WITH BOTOX: JANUARY 2014 CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ, VOL. 2014 Here we are again with America’s favorite waste of time, the monthly Classic Film Images Quiz, brought to you … Continue reading
You Can’t Go Homestead Again: Notes on Western Revisionism
The dirty little secret about revisionism is that it rarely provides the intended setting for demythologizing without creating, not a revealing truth, but a substitute mythology. The move toward revisionism in the western film genre is generally … Continue reading
MONTHLY PHOTO QUIZ VOL. 1941
“I’M READY FOR MY CLOSE-UP, MISTER DEMILLE.”: DECEMBER 2013 CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ , VOL. 1941 (100% SELFIE-FREE) This month’s festive photo quiz has the good fortune of containing socially redeeming content (we actually have to do this every now … Continue reading
STATE OF THE ART: To Re or Not To Re; ‘Tis a Question of Film “Revisits”
To listen to Internet movie sites, one would think that the greatest offense now being committed by the American film industry is the perceived proliferation of the “remake”; so heinous a cultural offense to the millions of films buffs … Continue reading
A Brief Rumination on the Modern Cinema and the Demise of Classical Dance in the Movie Musical
At what point in film history did the movement of dancers in a musical film become an impediment to the director’s visual leanings? In the classical Hollywood studio era musical, the frame is carefully composed to elicit a … Continue reading
Buy a Drive-In Theater! (Well… not really, but read on and support a worthy initiative which will preserve and defend a precious American tradition, and perhaps aid in defeating the lingering Communist menace at the same time.)
Another interesting tidbit which has crossed the desk of the Swain News Service, but first our usual editorial tirade: In American life, progress is generally defined as eliminating tradition by way of the excuse of advancing technology, changing … Continue reading
And so begins the holiday season…
COULD “SCROOGE” BE A FILM CRITIC? Given his noxious nature as an unrepentant miserly skinflint, ill mannered, callously opinionated and completely dismissive of others feelings, could not old Ebenezer be an ideal model for the professional film critic? To read … Continue reading
Beatles in a Bell Jar: “Let It Be” (1970)
Sitting through Michael Lindsay-Hogg’s “Let It Be” is not dissimilar to sitting behind someone in a theater and staring at the back of their head, mentally trying to make them turn around: it’s pointless, it doesn’t really work … Continue reading
STATE OF THE ART: A Brief Polemic in Consideration of the Cinema’s True Creative Pulse
Those who have partaken of my critical rambling will note that there is far less attention paid to the physical production and visual quality of a film and more regarding the structure and balance of the narrative, the ingenuity … Continue reading
Death of a Thousand Cuts: “Les Miserables” (2012)
There are a thousand reasons to dislike Tom Hooper’s “Les Misérables”, not the least reason being the perfectly execrable vocal renditions of the familiar Claude-Michel Schönberg/Alain Boublil/Herbert Kretzmer score, stagnantly directed with a paralyzing laziness of directorial imagination which … Continue reading
The 2013 Annual Critical Establishment Readers Survey
________________________________________________________________ All readers, bloggers and film enthusiasts are encouraged to participate in the following 59 question survey. ________________________________________________________________________________ 01. Who/what do you feel is the most overrated actor, actress, director and film? 02. Who/what do you feel is the … Continue reading
Culture Clash: “Bambi Meets Godzilla” (1969)
“BAMBI MEETS GODZILLA” (1969) The title says it all. This unlikely meeting of two anthropomorphized cinema icons is one of the great jests of the late 1960’s American Cinema, a period not known for its ebullient humor, but instead … Continue reading
MONTHLY PHOTO QUIZ VOL. 441
HISTORY IS OLD NEWS: SEPTEMBER CLASSIC FILM IMAGES Ah, the good old days. Plagues, extinction level meteors, worldwide armed conflicts, the career of Elizabeth Taylor. OK, so maybe the past was hideous, filled with horrific events that will disturb Mankind … Continue reading
Poe in the Cinema: “The Tell-Tale Heart” (1953)
Notoriously unlucky in the myriad of film translations of his work, Edgar Allan Poe finds an unlikely ally with the techniques of a minimalist animation style from U.P.A. Studios, a happy meeting of the literary and the graphic … Continue reading
MONTHLY PHOTO QUIZ VOL. 433
Despite the best efforts of the Millennials (a.k.a., the Generation Y, as in “Y do they exist?” collective) to dismiss the very existence of anyone over the age of 30 (which puts the elder of their clique against the firing … Continue reading
35 Lb. Monkey Business: “The Man With the Golden Arm” (1955)
One of the characteristics of the movies of the “Golden Age” studio era of filmmaking was the anesthetizing comfort they were intended to provide the audience, explaining the essential homogenized blandness in which innovation and true artistry- always enemies … Continue reading
MONTHLY PHOTO QUIZ VOL. 432
A FACE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS: JULY CLASSIC FILM IMAGES QUIZ During this month of mindless summer entertainment, it would be a good time to reflect on those glamorous images of yesteryear, those faces that filled the silver screen … Continue reading