Author Archives: chandlerswainreviews

About chandlerswainreviews

I've been a puppet, a pirate, a pauper, a poet, a pawn and a king, not necessarily in that order. My first major movie memory was being at the drive-in at about 1 1/2 yrs. old seeing "Sayonara" so I suppose an interest in film was inevitable. (For those scoring at home- good for you- I wasn't driving that evening, so no need to alert authorities.)Writer, critic and confessed spoiler of women, as I have a tendency to forget to put them back in the refrigerator. My apologies.

Horse Sense: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, May 2021 Edition, Vol. 6 Hands

HORSE SENSE: CLASSIC FILM IMAGES PHOTO QUIZ, MAY 2021 EDITION, VOL. 6 HANDS      If the current pandemic teaches us anything (a supposition which for reasons only a scientific investigation the size of the Manhattan Project might begin to unravel … Continue reading

Posted in Africa, art house cinema, biography, books, Drive-In Movies, Movies, photography, Romance, westerns, women, writing | 3 Comments

Without a Clue: “The Stone Killer” (1973)

          “The Stone Killer”  (1973)      Discontent to assure audiences of a visceral thrill ride by the mere mention in the opening credits of Michael Winner assuming the directorial antics, “The Stone Killer” begins with … Continue reading

Posted in books, Charles Bronson, crime, Drive-In Movies, Movies, Mystery, writing | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Strange Bedfellows: “Public Affairs” (1983)

       “Public Affairs”  (1983)      Henri Pachard’s “Public Affairs” (which he also co-scripted) would have you believe that politics is no deeper than a lowbrow humor which seems suspiciously lifted using the frivolous filter of vague remembrance … Continue reading

Posted in Annette Haven, comedy, erotica, grindhouse, Movies, politics, sex, Sex in Cinema, women, writing | 1 Comment

Isn’t Running a Sign You’re Up to No-Good?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Apr. 2021 Edition, Vol. 26.2

Isn’t Running a Sign You’re Up to No-Good?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Apr. 2021 Edition, Vol. 26.2      With this year’s upcoming cancelled running of the Boston Marathon, there is little reason for the annual Patriot’s Day holiday … Continue reading

Posted in art house cinema, biography, books, Boston, British films, crime, Drive-In Movies, grindhouse, Movies, Mystery, politics, women, writing | 4 Comments

All Creatures Great and Small: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, March 2021 Edition, Vol. 46XXL

All Creatures Great and Small:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, March 2021 Edition, Vol. 46XXL      With the arrival of a theatrical film award season celebrating the achievements of a year completely invisible of theatrical entertainment, it has become … Continue reading

Posted in animation, Bert I. Gordon, books, Boston, Drive-In Movies, horror, kaiju, Movies, Pre-Code Movies, science fiction, silent movies, writing | 4 Comments

In the Realm of the Insensible: “Jade” (1995)

            “Jade”  (1995)    While convolution in a murder mystery is nothing new, a film usually pays dividends if, in the end, a semblance of coherence can be deciphered from even the most labyrinthine of … Continue reading

Posted in crime, erotica, Movies, Mystery, sex, William Friedkin, writing | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Jungle Daze: “Trader Horn” (1973)

“TRADER HORN”  (1973)     The painfully optimistic marketing material announces that this remake of the 1931 African adventure “Trader Horn” is in the grand tradition of “King Solomon’s Mines” and “Mogambo”. For once we are presented with an example … Continue reading

Posted in Africa, biography, books, movie remakes, Movies, Rod Taylor, Romance, writing | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Lurching: “The Addams Family” (2019)

“The Addams Family”  (2019)     If anyone is sincere in capturing the delicious, wickedly funny malevolence of the original Charles Addams cartoons, it would seem prudent to preserve the monochromatic design of the drawings. The new animated “The Addams … Continue reading

Posted in animation, cartoons, comedy, humor, movie reviews, Movies, writing | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Noir!: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Feb. 2021 Edition, Vol. .38

Noir!: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Feb. 2021 Edition, Vol. .38      Being that February is Black History Month and the crew at CSR are noted for their sensitivity to the burning issues of the day, it was decided … Continue reading

Posted in blogs, books, crime, Drive-In Movies, film noir, Movies, Mystery, women, writing | Tagged | 2 Comments

Thundering Cliff Notes: “Tombstone” (1993)

         “Tombstone”  (1993)      In George Stevens’ film “Shane”, when excitable homesteader Frank Torrey (Elisha Cook Jr.) is gunned down by the enigmatic hired killer Jack Wilson (Jack Palance), the director deliberately amplified the volume of … Continue reading

Posted in biography, History, Movies, westerns, writing | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Riding Off Into the Rising Sunset: “Red Sun” (1971)

         “Red Sun”  (1971)     With the emergence of the Spaghetti Western, the appearance of ethnically incongruent casts became more commonplace, especially in light of the Italian film industry’s habit of shooting films MOS. The capability … Continue reading

Posted in Movies, Sam Peckinpah, westerns, writing | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Lucky 2021: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Jan. 2021 Edition, Vol. 0-0

Lucky 2021: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Jan. 2021 Edition, Vol. 0-0      Thank goodness for the end of 2020. Not that we have anything to complain about here at the offices of CSR, but we’re so tired of listening … Continue reading

Posted in biography, blogs, books, comedy, Drive-In Movies, Movies, Puzzles, Rosalba Neri, theater, writing | 2 Comments

Getting Crabs: “Attack of the Crab Monsters” (1957)

       “Attack of the Crab Monsters”  (1957)     One of the immediate presumptions one can make when noting the presence of genre regular Russell Johnson in Roger Corman’s “Attack of the Crab Monsters” is that, as in … Continue reading

Posted in Drive-In Movies, horror, Movies, Roger Corman, science fiction, writing | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Black and White in Color: “In the Heat of the Night” (1967)

     “In the Heat of the Night”  (1967)     With “In the Heat of the Night” director Norman Jewison breaches the unconscionable commercial wall of denial concerning racial injustice by way of silence (born entirely of an industry … Continue reading

Posted in black cinema, book reviews, books, movie reviews, Movies, Mystery, racism, Reviews, Rod Steiger, Sidney Poitier, writing | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Castle Redux: “Two on a Guillotine” (1965)

        “Two on a Guillotine” (1965)           Clearly taking direction from the horror films of William Castle and employing vividly evident inspiration from his 1959 “House on Haunted Hill”, William Conrad’s “Two on a … Continue reading

Posted in Drive-In Movies, Movies, Mystery, Romance, writing | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Heart of Darkness: “Justice League” (2017)

                “Justice League”  (2017)      If “Justice League” proves anything it’s that any pretense of the inclusion of genuine human heart in the halting but expanding collection of high-powered missteps known as … Continue reading

Posted in comic books, fantasy, Movies | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Chandler’s Trailers: “The Undertaker and his Pals” (1966)

“Undertaker and His Pals, The”  (1966) A bizarre hybrid of a film which emerges as an extremely low-rent version of Harvey Kurtzman-like parody of the savage mock Southern Gothic sadism of Herschell Gordon Lewis. To boost the business of  the … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, Drive-In Movies, grindhouse cinema, horror, movie reviews, Movies | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Pacific Overtures: “PT 109” (1963)

               “PT 109”  (1963)      Much can be determined from the character of a person by the substance of an autobiographical tome. In the case of “PT 109”, so much influence was exerted … Continue reading

Posted in biography, books, Boston, History, Movies, war movies, World War II, writing | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Dear Cinema Santa: 2020 Edition

                                     Dear Cinema Santa: 2020 Edition To crown this year of joviality and conviviality (we only eliminated four enemies all year, so we … Continue reading

Posted in China, Christmas, cinema, Culture, holidays, Movies, theaters, writing | 1 Comment

‘Tis the Season of Excess: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2020 Edition, Vol. 3,000,000,000

‘Tis the Season of Excess: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2020 Edition, Vol. 3,000,000,000 If anything might be guaranteed to emanate on a continuous basis from the deeply humanist and selfless communal mindset that is at the core of … Continue reading

Posted in art house cinema, biography, books, History, Italian cinema, Movies, photography, Romance, Santa Claus, silent movies, westerns, women, writing | 2 Comments

Five Characters in Search of a Crime Scene: “Madonna of the Desert” (1948)

         “Madonna of the Desert”  (1948)      The slightness of “Madonna of the Desert” might not be evident to those who have never seen a motion picture of any kind. However, those with even minimal exposure … Continue reading

Posted in crime, film noir, Movies, Reviews, women, writing | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Family Ties: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Nov. 2020 Edition, Vol. 2.4

Family Ties: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Nov. 2020 Edition, Vol. 2.4     Recently it was reported that America’s most prominent Chicken Little,  Dr, Anthony Fauci was informed by his family that due to the conditions of the pandemic, they … Continue reading

Posted in biography, black cinema, books, children, comedy, Drive-In Movies, History, Movies, Musicals, women | 3 Comments

Folly Du Jour: “Hand of Death” (1962)

        “Hand of Death”  (1962)      In “Hand of Death”  poor John Agar stars as his latest incarnation of an actor impersonating a career scientist whose altruism is perverted with exponentially monstrous results as he operates … Continue reading

Posted in Drive-In Movies, horror, John Agar, movie reviews, Movies, science, science fiction, writing | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Poe in the Cinema: “The Tell-Tale Heart” (1953)

Originally posted on CHANDLER SWAIN REVIEWS:
       Notoriously unlucky in the myriad of film translations of his work, Edgar Allan Poe finds an unlikely ally with the techniques of a minimalist animation style from U.P.A. Studios, a happy meeting…

Posted in Movies | 1 Comment

Make Light, Not War: “Getting Straight” (1970)

Originally posted on CHANDLER SWAIN REVIEWS:
      Imagine the panic in Hollywood studios in the late 1960’s, many already absorbed by corporations who had no more knowledge of the film business than a dairy cow has about producing…

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Petals and Thorns: “The Little Shop of Horrors” (1960)

Originally posted on CHANDLER SWAIN REVIEWS:
________________________________________________________________         “The Little Shop of Horrors” is a more broadly freewheeling horror-comedy than Roger Corman’s savagely on target beat counterculture satire “A Bucket of Blood”, a film with a far more ambitious agenda…

Posted in Movies | 1 Comment

Capra Conned: “Magic Town” (1947)

Originally posted on CHANDLER SWAIN REVIEWS:
      By the time director Frank Capra created his series of unrelenting Man of the People populist fantasies, it was clear that although he didn’t invent this particular genre (though even a cursory glance…

Posted in Movies | 1 Comment

#MeBoo: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Oct. 2020 Edition, Vol. 35-24-36-43

#MeBoo:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Oct. 2020 Edition, Vol. 36-24-36-43     Amid all of the fuss of the current extended job interview between two fellows who, in the real world, would be underqualified to handle the complexities of being … Continue reading

Posted in books, Boston, Drive-In Movies, horror, horror films, Movies, photography, vampires, women, writing | 13 Comments

Chandler’s Trailers: “Humanoids From the Deep” (1980)

  “Humanoids From the Deep” (1980)  If one were uncertain as to the gravity of the situation in the small fishing hamlet of Noyo, California one would need no further measurement than the overbearingly ominous music of James Horner which … Continue reading

Posted in Drive-In Movies, horror, movie reviews, Movies, music, Roger Corman, science fiction, women, writing | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

To Tell the Truth: “Valerie” (1957)

WOMAN IN VIOLENT REPOSE: This Vemeer-like opening image from Gerd Oswald’s “Valerie” sets the stage for a Western less interested in the who than in the why of what appears to be a spontaneous multiple killing.         … Continue reading

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If You Have the Time to Read This, You’re Not Earning Your Pay: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Sept. 2020 Special Labor Day Edition, Vol. 40/5

If You Have Time to Read This, You’re Not Earning Your Pay: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Sept. 202 Special Labor Day Edition, Vol. 40/5     In celebration of the American holiday acknowledging the working class, all of the effort … Continue reading

Posted in biography, black cinema, books, Boston, comedy, crime, Documentaries, History, Movies, women, writing | Leave a comment

It Came From the File Cabinet: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Late Aug./Early Sept. 2020 Edition, Vol. 47

It Came From the File Cabinet: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Late Aug./Early Sept. 2020 Edition, Vol. 47      It is with great sorrow that we at Chandler Swain Reviews regret to inform you that our traditional method of … Continue reading

Posted in art house cinema, biography, Blaxploitation, books, British films, comedy, Drive-In Movies, History, horror, Movies, women, writing | 2 Comments

il fine

Posted in Italian cinema, Italy, Movies, music | Tagged | Leave a comment

This is No Way to Share Popcorn

Posted in blogs, Boston, British films, cinema, Culture, Film, History, movie reviews, Movies, Romance, women, writing | 1 Comment

Mirror, Mirror: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2020 Edition, Vol. XI-IX

Mirror, Mirror:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2020 Edition, Vol. XI-IX     History seems fated to repeat itself. The Age of the Selfie is the direct antecedent of the Golden Age of Mirror Gazing and both depend on … Continue reading

Posted in Alfred Hitchcock, art house cinema, books, Boston, comedy, crime, horror, Movies, women, writing | 2 Comments

No Explanation Necessary…

Posted in black cinema, books, clark gable, Culture, Movies, writing | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Shameless Advertising in a Time of Crisis

Posted in Movies | 2 Comments

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go In The Water…

Posted in Movies | 1 Comment

Blood and Sand: “The Longest Day” (1962)

     “The Longest Day”   (1962) (Originally published June 23, 2013)     Darryl F. Zanuck’s monumental war epic depicting the events of the D-Day invasion of World War 2 has the disadvantage of not only following dozens of characters … Continue reading

Posted in 1960's cinema, drive-in cinema, Drive-In Movies, Film, Film Reviews, John Wayne, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, Richard Burton, war movies, World War II | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Beetley Brit Brings Brutal Beatdown in Bi-Coastal Braintease Bacchanal

    Supposed Ex-Royal Interloper Meghan              Stews at Attention Grabbing Moose                           Stalker From Beetley  Reported to Have Asked “Grandmummy” to Declare    … Continue reading

Posted in Boston, Movies, photography, politics, psychiatry, Puzzles | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

In Black and White: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, June 2020 Edition, Vol. -30-

In Black and White: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, June 2020 Edition, Vol. -30-    What’s black and white and red all over? Pravda naturally. However, when it comes to Hollywood, the answer would more likely be Panda Tartare (being … Continue reading

Posted in books, Boston, espionage, Movies, Mystery, photography, women, writing | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Java Buzz: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Special Caffeine-Fueled B. Sisters Café Mid-May 2020 Edition, Vol. 1/2 & 1/2

This gallery contains 27 photos.

Java Buzz: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Special Caffeine-Fueled B. Sisters Café Mid-May 2020 Edition, Vol. 1/2 & 1/2  é     Live and more alert than is (in theory) humanly safe after nine straight large cups of Cold Brew … Continue reading

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Attention Puny Earthlings! A Special Announcement Follows…

A BRAINTEASER TO SEE WHO’S STILL WITH US…     …cognitively speaking of course. (Unfortunately this omits a particularly sad individual who is currently running/sitting/hibernating/drooling for office for the DMC, but seems quite content to spend his autumn hours neatly snuggled … Continue reading

Posted in blogs, Boston, History, humor, Movies, Mystery, Puzzles, trivia | 2 Comments

Happy MOTHER Day, CSR-Style

      A Holiday Missive to “MOTHER”     Given that the average male Yale graduate’s (we’ve talked to ’em… they’re a sad bunch)  day is given over to dealing with feelings of guilt and inadequacy so deeply ingrained … Continue reading

Posted in Boston, children, Culture, holidays, humor, Movies, parenting, psychiatry, women, zombies | Tagged | 2 Comments

It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, May 2020 Edition, Vol. .400

It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, May 2020 Edition, Vol. .400    During what will undoubtedly be referred to by some historians as The Great Purell Hunt of 2020 (while others will more sensibly remember … Continue reading

Posted in biography, books, Boston, comedy, Movies, sports, theater, women, writing | Tagged | 2 Comments

Torture Scorn: “Rambo: Last Blood” (2019)

      “Rambo: Last Blood”  (2019)     By this point in the increasingly indefensible gorefest known as the Rambo franchise,  having abandoned the original novel and film’s conception of a man irretrievably changed and haunted by Vietnam (the War, … Continue reading

Posted in Mexico, movie reviews, movie sequels, Paz Vega, Sylvester Stallone, writing | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

All Banged Up and No Place to Go: “Number One” (1969)

        “Number One”  (1969)     Considering the amount of complex psychology involved in both the achieving and the rudimentary maintenance of high level performance in sports, it is surprising how little of this is reflected in … Continue reading

Posted in Charlton Heston, football, Romance, sports, women, writing | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Chandler’s Trailers: “Where Does It Hurt?” (1972)

“Where Does It Hurt?” (1972) If Paddy Chayefsky’s attempt at satirizing the medical establishment fell short of the mark in Arthur Hiller’s “The Hospital” from the previous year, Rod Amateau’s rather loathsome burlesque “Where Does It Hurt?” arrives as a … Continue reading

Posted in books, comedy, medicine, Movies, Peter Sellers, Reviews, writing | Tagged | 2 Comments

What the Peeper Saw: “What Do You Say to a Naked Lady?” (1970)

          “What Do You Say to a Naked Lady?”  (1970)           Alan Funt’s “What Do You Say to a Naked Lady?” begins with the noted television Peeping Tom/provocateur fiddling with his surveillance equipment … Continue reading

Posted in movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, sex, Television, women | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Alone Again, Unnaturally: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Apr. 2020 Edition, Vol. 4077

Alone Again, Unnaturally:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Apr. 2020 Edition, Vol. 4077 Emerging from a self-imposed exile just in time to notice that the rest of the world seems to have cribbed our idea for a temporary avoidance of … Continue reading

Posted in books, Boston, British films, China, Cold War, crime, Drive-In Movies, horror, Movies, Mystery, war movies, women, writing | 6 Comments