Author Archives: chandlerswainreviews

About chandlerswainreviews

I've been a puppet, a pirate, a pauper, a poet, a pawn and a king, not necessarily in that order. My first major movie memory was being at the drive-in at about 1 1/2 yrs. old seeing "Sayonara" so I suppose an interest in film was inevitable. (For those scoring at home- good for you- I wasn't driving that evening, so no need to alert authorities.)Writer, critic and confessed spoiler of women, as I have a tendency to forget to put them back in the refrigerator. My apologies.

Folly Du Jour: “Hand of Death” (1962)

        “Hand of Death”  (1962)      In “Hand of Death”  poor John Agar stars as his latest incarnation of an actor impersonating a career scientist whose altruism is perverted with exponentially monstrous results as he operates … Continue reading

Posted in Drive-In Movies, horror, John Agar, movie reviews, Movies, science, science fiction, writing | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Poe in the Cinema: “The Tell-Tale Heart” (1953)

Originally posted on CHANDLER SWAIN REVIEWS:
       Notoriously unlucky in the myriad of film translations of his work, Edgar Allan Poe finds an unlikely ally with the techniques of a minimalist animation style from U.P.A. Studios, a happy meeting…

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Make Light, Not War: “Getting Straight” (1970)

Originally posted on CHANDLER SWAIN REVIEWS:
      Imagine the panic in Hollywood studios in the late 1960’s, many already absorbed by corporations who had no more knowledge of the film business than a dairy cow has about producing…

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Petals and Thorns: “The Little Shop of Horrors” (1960)

Originally posted on CHANDLER SWAIN REVIEWS:
________________________________________________________________         “The Little Shop of Horrors” is a more broadly freewheeling horror-comedy than Roger Corman’s savagely on target beat counterculture satire “A Bucket of Blood”, a film with a far more ambitious agenda…

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Capra Conned: “Magic Town” (1947)

Originally posted on CHANDLER SWAIN REVIEWS:
      By the time director Frank Capra created his series of unrelenting Man of the People populist fantasies, it was clear that although he didn’t invent this particular genre (though even a cursory glance…

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#MeBoo: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Oct. 2020 Edition, Vol. 35-24-36-43

#MeBoo:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Oct. 2020 Edition, Vol. 36-24-36-43     Amid all of the fuss of the current extended job interview between two fellows who, in the real world, would be underqualified to handle the complexities of being … Continue reading

Posted in books, Boston, Drive-In Movies, horror, horror films, Movies, photography, vampires, women, writing | 13 Comments

Chandler’s Trailers: “Humanoids From the Deep” (1980)

  “Humanoids From the Deep” (1980)  If one were uncertain as to the gravity of the situation in the small fishing hamlet of Noyo, California one would need no further measurement than the overbearingly ominous music of James Horner which … Continue reading

Posted in Drive-In Movies, horror, movie reviews, Movies, music, Roger Corman, science fiction, women, writing | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

To Tell the Truth: “Valerie” (1957)

WOMAN IN VIOLENT REPOSE: This Vemeer-like opening image from Gerd Oswald’s “Valerie” sets the stage for a Western less interested in the who than in the why of what appears to be a spontaneous multiple killing.         … Continue reading

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If You Have the Time to Read This, You’re Not Earning Your Pay: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Sept. 2020 Special Labor Day Edition, Vol. 40/5

If You Have Time to Read This, You’re Not Earning Your Pay: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Sept. 202 Special Labor Day Edition, Vol. 40/5     In celebration of the American holiday acknowledging the working class, all of the effort … Continue reading

Posted in biography, black cinema, books, Boston, comedy, crime, Documentaries, History, Movies, women, writing | Leave a comment

It Came From the File Cabinet: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Late Aug./Early Sept. 2020 Edition, Vol. 47

It Came From the File Cabinet: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Late Aug./Early Sept. 2020 Edition, Vol. 47      It is with great sorrow that we at Chandler Swain Reviews regret to inform you that our traditional method of … Continue reading

Posted in art house cinema, biography, Blaxploitation, books, British films, comedy, Drive-In Movies, History, horror, Movies, women, writing | 2 Comments

il fine

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This is No Way to Share Popcorn

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Mirror, Mirror: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2020 Edition, Vol. XI-IX

Mirror, Mirror:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, July 2020 Edition, Vol. XI-IX     History seems fated to repeat itself. The Age of the Selfie is the direct antecedent of the Golden Age of Mirror Gazing and both depend on … Continue reading

Posted in Alfred Hitchcock, art house cinema, books, Boston, comedy, crime, horror, Movies, women, writing | 2 Comments

No Explanation Necessary…

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Shameless Advertising in a Time of Crisis

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Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go In The Water…

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Blood and Sand: “The Longest Day” (1962)

     “The Longest Day”   (1962) (Originally published June 23, 2013)     Darryl F. Zanuck’s monumental war epic depicting the events of the D-Day invasion of World War 2 has the disadvantage of not only following dozens of characters … Continue reading

Posted in 1960's cinema, drive-in cinema, Drive-In Movies, Film, Film Reviews, John Wayne, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, Richard Burton, war movies, World War II | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Beetley Brit Brings Brutal Beatdown in Bi-Coastal Braintease Bacchanal

    Supposed Ex-Royal Interloper Meghan              Stews at Attention Grabbing Moose                           Stalker From Beetley  Reported to Have Asked “Grandmummy” to Declare    … Continue reading

Posted in Boston, Movies, photography, politics, psychiatry, Puzzles | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

In Black and White: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, June 2020 Edition, Vol. -30-

In Black and White: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, June 2020 Edition, Vol. -30-    What’s black and white and red all over? Pravda naturally. However, when it comes to Hollywood, the answer would more likely be Panda Tartare (being … Continue reading

Posted in books, Boston, espionage, Movies, Mystery, photography, women, writing | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Java Buzz: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Special Caffeine-Fueled B. Sisters Café Mid-May 2020 Edition, Vol. 1/2 & 1/2

This gallery contains 27 photos.

Java Buzz: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Special Caffeine-Fueled B. Sisters Café Mid-May 2020 Edition, Vol. 1/2 & 1/2  é     Live and more alert than is (in theory) humanly safe after nine straight large cups of Cold Brew … Continue reading

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Attention Puny Earthlings! A Special Announcement Follows…

A BRAINTEASER TO SEE WHO’S STILL WITH US…     …cognitively speaking of course. (Unfortunately this omits a particularly sad individual who is currently running/sitting/hibernating/drooling for office for the DMC, but seems quite content to spend his autumn hours neatly snuggled … Continue reading

Posted in blogs, Boston, History, humor, Movies, Mystery, Puzzles, trivia | 2 Comments

Happy MOTHER Day, CSR-Style

      A Holiday Missive to “MOTHER”     Given that the average male Yale graduate’s (we’ve talked to ’em… they’re a sad bunch)  day is given over to dealing with feelings of guilt and inadequacy so deeply ingrained … Continue reading

Posted in Boston, children, Culture, holidays, humor, Movies, parenting, psychiatry, women, zombies | Tagged | 2 Comments

It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, May 2020 Edition, Vol. .400

It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, May 2020 Edition, Vol. .400    During what will undoubtedly be referred to by some historians as The Great Purell Hunt of 2020 (while others will more sensibly remember … Continue reading

Posted in biography, books, Boston, comedy, Movies, sports, theater, women, writing | Tagged | 2 Comments

Torture Scorn: “Rambo: Last Blood” (2019)

      “Rambo: Last Blood”  (2019)     By this point in the increasingly indefensible gorefest known as the Rambo franchise,  having abandoned the original novel and film’s conception of a man irretrievably changed and haunted by Vietnam (the War, … Continue reading

Posted in Mexico, movie reviews, movie sequels, Paz Vega, Sylvester Stallone, writing | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

All Banged Up and No Place to Go: “Number One” (1969)

        “Number One”  (1969)     Considering the amount of complex psychology involved in both the achieving and the rudimentary maintenance of high level performance in sports, it is surprising how little of this is reflected in … Continue reading

Posted in Charlton Heston, football, Romance, sports, women, writing | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Chandler’s Trailers: “Where Does It Hurt?” (1972)

“Where Does It Hurt?” (1972) If Paddy Chayefsky’s attempt at satirizing the medical establishment fell short of the mark in Arthur Hiller’s “The Hospital” from the previous year, Rod Amateau’s rather loathsome burlesque “Where Does It Hurt?” arrives as a … Continue reading

Posted in books, comedy, medicine, Movies, Peter Sellers, Reviews, writing | Tagged | 2 Comments

What the Peeper Saw: “What Do You Say to a Naked Lady?” (1970)

          “What Do You Say to a Naked Lady?”  (1970)           Alan Funt’s “What Do You Say to a Naked Lady?” begins with the noted television Peeping Tom/provocateur fiddling with his surveillance equipment … Continue reading

Posted in movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, sex, Television, women | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Alone Again, Unnaturally: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Apr. 2020 Edition, Vol. 4077

Alone Again, Unnaturally:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Apr. 2020 Edition, Vol. 4077 Emerging from a self-imposed exile just in time to notice that the rest of the world seems to have cribbed our idea for a temporary avoidance of … Continue reading

Posted in books, Boston, British films, China, Cold War, crime, Drive-In Movies, horror, Movies, Mystery, war movies, women, writing | 6 Comments

Battle Fatigue: “Le prigioniere dell’isola del diavolo” (1962)

       “Le prigioniere dell’isola del diavolo” (1962)         The mere mention of a film inclusive of the women in the spurious genre of prison films usually conjures salacious images of graciously exploitative shower scenes, jailhouse togs … Continue reading

Posted in Italian cinema, Movies, Romance, women, writing | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Wrapping Up: “The Mummy” (1959)

        “The Mummy”      (1959)      Hammer Film’s 1959 revival of “The Mummy” (which inevitably means Terence Fisher’s 1959 revival  of “The Mummy”) forgoes the eponymous  character of the 1932 Karl Freund original as the sole antagonist … Continue reading

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Diplomatic Affairs: “Die lady” (1964)

“Die lady”  (1964) Starring Ingrid Thulin, Paul Hubschmid, Nikos Kourkoulos, Claudine Auger, Bernard Verley. Written by Peter Berneis. Directed by Han Albin & Peter Berneis. (aka “Games of Desire”) Ingrid Thulin stars as Nadine, the trophy wife to Elliot, a secretly … Continue reading

Posted in Ingrid Thulin, movie reviews, Movies, psychiatry, Romance, sex, women, writing | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Fear is the Key: “Machine Gun Kelly” (1958)

    “Machine Gun Kelly” (1958)    Roger Corman directs this oddly unaffecting gangster film which while predictably short on accurate historic detail, curiously substitutes enough unconvincing. psychodrama to sabotage a dozen B-pictures.      In chronicling the exaggerated myths … Continue reading

Posted in biography, Charles Bronson, crime, History, Movies, Roger Corman, women, writing | Tagged | 1 Comment

Is That Snow Falling From The Sky Or Are You Just Glad to See Me?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2019 Edition,Vol. 6 – 12″

Is That Show Falling From The Sky Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Dec. 2019 Edition, Vol. 6 – 12″ Not a subscriber to climate change (we here at CSR much prefer the … Continue reading

Posted in black cinema, books, British films, Cold War, crime, Drive-In Movies, History, humor, Movies, Mystery, photography, politics, Romance | 2 Comments

Still Lives: “Kärlekens Krigare” (2009)

     “Kärlekens Krigare”  (2009)     Simon Staho’s “Kärlekens Krigare” ( “Warriors of Love”) is an interesting  use of the limited regressive tools of filmmaking resulting by ignoring just over a century’s worth of accumulated advances in style and … Continue reading

Posted in art house cinema, movie reviews, Movies, photography, Reviews, Romance, Swedish cinema, women, writing | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Bump in the Night: “Dracula Sucks” (1978)

           “Dracula Sucks”  (1978)     If a similar exercise in post-“Blazing Saddles” era genre deconstruction by way of by way of a borscht belt savaging of genre tropes were to be inferred by as suggestively … Continue reading

Posted in Annette Haven, books, erotica, horror, Movies, Porno Chic, Romance, vampires, women, writing | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Chandler’s Trailers: “The Curse of the Jade Scorpion” (2001)

“The Curse of the Jade Scorpion”  (2001)  A veteran insurance investigator and a newly installed company efficiency expert trade barbs while they are unwittingly involved, due to post-hypnotic suggestions, in the very jewel robberies they themselves are investigating. With its … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, crime, Helen Hunt, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, Romance, Woody Allen, writing | 1 Comment

Howl: “La lupa mannara” (1976)

      “La lupa mannara”  (1976)      Lycanthropy becomes the subject of pathology rather than mythology in Rino Di Silvestro’s “La lupa mannara” (“Werewolf Woman”), a film that features an unsettling performance by Annik Borel as Daniela Neseri, … Continue reading

Posted in crime, erotica, giallo, horror, Italian cinema, Movies, psychiatry, women, writing | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Chandler’s Trailers: “Down and Dirty Duck” (1974)

“Down and Dirty Duck”  (1974)  Buoyed by the financial success of Ralph Bakshi’s X-rated animated feature “Fritz the Cat”, several attempts were made to legitimize a solid commercial market for adult oriented animated features. Though certainly not as technically proficient … Continue reading

Posted in animation, cartoons, comedy, humor, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, writing | 1 Comment

If Only They Were This Good at Brexit

Brexit Stalls as Parliament Investigates Suspicious Security Breach From Beetley; Dog Will Testify In a move that has stunned NATO and forced an admission from French President Emmanuel Macron that Parisians are indeed “annoying”, an ancient Beetley native known only by … Continue reading

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Going to the Chapel: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Nov. 2019 Edition, Vol. XXXI

Going to the Chapel:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Nov. 2019 Edition, Vol. XXXI     This month’s offering comes with the dual purpose of pointing out the intellectual deficiencies of our readers (glad to do it) and to seek … Continue reading

Posted in Alfred Hitchcock, animation, art house cinema, books, British films, History, humor, Movies, politics, religion, writing | 4 Comments

Chandler’s Trailers: “Don’t Breathe” (2016)

“Don’t Breathe”  (2016)  Yet another example of Skinner Box cinema, presenting an unremarkable event, in this instance a case of home invasion by a trio of thrill seekers, which spirals into a nightmare intended precisely for the audience to enjoy … Continue reading

Posted in crime, horror, Movies, Reviews, writing | 2 Comments

Curiouser and Curiouser: “The Curious Female” (1970)

         “The Curious Female”    (1970)     One might be sympathetic to the exploitation filmmaker who deems that gratuitous sex and nudity alone is insufficient to realize any but the most base of creative intentions and … Continue reading

Posted in erotica, Film Reviews, grindhouse, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, science fiction, sex, Sex in Cinema, women | Tagged | 2 Comments

Look What They Done to My War, Ma: “F.T.A.” (1972)

        “F.T.A.”  (1972)      In Michael Wadleigh’s celebrated 1970 documentary “Woodstock”, the myth of the purity of Sixties radicalism takes a sharp stick in the eye when the cumulative evidence reveals that rather than the three … Continue reading

Posted in Documentaries, Jane Fonda, movie reviews, Movies, music, politics, Vietnam, writing | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Cold as Ice: “The Frozen Dead” (1966)

                 “The Frozen Dead”  (1966)      If one were take Hollywood’s version of history at face value, Germany’s defeat in World War II had little to do with the strangulation of resources … Continue reading

Posted in Drive-In Movies, horror, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, science fiction, women, World War II, writing | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Undercovers: “The Ganja Express” (1978)

      “The Ganja Express”  (1978)     Three men pretending to be actors play at being Federal agents who manage to confuse the most fundamental of plans: that is to say they are planning to pursue a drug … Continue reading

Posted in crime, erotica, grindhouse, Movies, Porno Chic, sex, Sex in Cinema, writing | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Mud: “X the Unknown” (1956)

          “X the Unknown”  (1956)      For those interested in genre filmmaking, it is important to remember that in monster movies the world seems to be populated by citizens paralyzed with fright so intense it … Continue reading

Posted in British films, Drive-In Movies, Hammer films, horror, movie reviews, Movies, Reviews, science fiction, writing | Tagged | 1 Comment

“That’s Where the Money Is”: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Oct. 2019 Edition, Vol. 2%

“That’s Where the Money Is”:  Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Oct. 2019 Edition, Vol. 2% Consistent with our desire to occasionally present what might be leniently considered a public service in order to maintain a favorable tax status and to … Continue reading

Posted in art house cinema, books, Boston, British films, Canada, crime, film noir, Movies, Mystery, photography, westerns, writing | Tagged | 5 Comments

Domesticated On Arrival: “Devils of Darkness” (1965)

      “Devils of Darkness” (1965)     Lance Comfort’s “Devils of Darkness” is a strange amalgam of vampirism and Satanic cult worshipping, both staples of post-Hammer British horror films, though here combined in an awkward brew which appears … Continue reading

Posted in British films, Drive-In Movies, Hammer films, horror, movie reviews, Movies, vampires, writing | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

The Spy Who Confused Me: “Superseven chiama Cairo” (1965)

      “Superseven chiama Cairo”  (1965)     If imitation were genuinely the sincerest form of flattery, then Ian Fleming’s most popular creation would have merited the author the Nobel Prize for Literature. As it stands, what is entertaining … Continue reading

Posted in books, crime, espionage, Eurospy movies, Italian cinema, Movies, Mystery, Romance, Rosalba Neri, writing | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Paying for Time: “Agony of Love” (1966)

          “Agony of Love”  (1966)   Think “Klute” without the nonsense murder plot or “Belle de jour” without the surrealist subtext and both made without a hint of artistry and you will probably see much that … Continue reading

Posted in erotica, grindhouse, Movies, psychiatry, sex, Sex in Cinema, women | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments