Dear Cinema Santa: 2022 Edition

unfaithfully yours

REMAKES ARE JUST REGIFTING: In Hollywood, unenthusiastic popular responses to the ceaseless redressing of the same material is simply an unsophisticated audience base not appreciating the effort it takes to jam an entire film through a photocopying machine. Evidently, the public has failed to appreciate Tinseltown’s year-long delivery of lumps of coal in the stocking. Can anything be done to stem the tide of movies which would have to be elevated by hot air balloons to rise to the heights of mediocrity?

Dear Cinema Santa: 2022 Edition

‘Tis the time of year when Hollywood winds down into its shameless baiting for award season recognition with the latest slate of feel-good holiday slasher films, scatalogical comedies and finger-wagging agenda dramas aimed at deflating the audience and increasing Yultide suicide rates. In our usual spirit of wishful thinking and perhaps explaining just what the hell Hollywood is thinking (If thinking they be.), we present this year’s request list to Cinema Santa:

Animated Gif Christmas (384)We are actually excited about the reinstatement of Bob Iger as Walt Disney Company CEO after the unimpressive long-weekend term of his successor Bob Chapek. This suggests a promising strategy of restructuring the company in which each previous head of the company will be reinstated in reverse order until the power of ultimate control is reinstated back to dear old Uncle Walt. The fact that he’s deceased is immaterial as the studio might simply follow a practical credo “Better Dead Than in the Red“. 

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About chandlerswainreviews

I've been a puppet, a pirate, a pauper, a poet, a pawn and a king, not necessarily in that order. My first major movie memory was being at the drive-in at about 1 1/2 yrs. old seeing "Sayonara" so I suppose an interest in film was inevitable. (For those scoring at home- good for you- I wasn't driving that evening, so no need to alert authorities.)Writer, critic and confessed spoiler of women, as I have a tendency to forget to put them back in the refrigerator. My apologies.
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