They Shoot Bad Movies Don’t They?: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, Aug. 2021 Edition, Vol. 35MM
Despite Chairman Xi’s 2019 Xmas gift to the civilized world (and Vermont) in the form of a mildly annoying pandemic which not only destroyed the global economy but laid waste to millions of innocent lives (depending upon your particular geographic situation, consult your local authorities as to which is the greater priority), that profound think tank known as Hollywood has declared a reconstitution of purpose in their method of draining every cent of what remains of any compensatory emergency relief payments to the great unwashed from such unessential expenses as food and shelter, while the necessity of increasing subscriptions to endless streaming services in order to keep the champagne flowing among the supernal Olympians who provide what is shamelessly promoted as necessary cultural stimuli created by people who in the glory days of the big studios would most likely pass through the gates with a station much higher than lavatory attendants. If the continuance of a saturation of Xeroxed movie blandness is insufferable on the digitally enhanced idiot box (necessitating an investigation as to why the Grandad of Movie Awards has decided to silently eliminate such niceties as its past banishment of product produced and distributed for television from participation in its annual celebratory nomination process in its own by-laws), the same brain-deadening Far East market-bound pablum serving up ceaseless CGI conflagrations without a hint of interest in dialogue, character development or immersive human interaction is doubly insufferable when such imbecile offenses seem the only remaining options on the menu for reopening cinemas (at escalated prices), those faux rumpus room multiplexes which have already sucked the life out of the civilized theatrical experience. Which brings us to this month’s edition of America’s most annoyed monthly reminder that a cinema mind is a terrible thing to waste: the Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you, as always, by those stubbornly patriotic distributors of SKITTLES, America’s favorite breakfast candy. In this edition we celebrate the poor suckers who patronize the cinema, expecting a modicum of pleasure and usually emerging with alarmingly ground teeth. Thankfully the featured images are depictions of theater patrons as seen in the movies, so their universal rapture is in keeping with film’s ability to create illusion. Your task is to identify all twenty five films represented by the images and report your findings to the enlightened staff here at CSR. The first to correctly identify all twenty five will receive the CSR Culture Shock Award, the last honorarium guaranteed to get you a good table at the legendary Benny Fong’s House of Fong. Good luck.