Beetley Brit Brings Brutal Beatdown in Bi-Coastal Braintease Bacchanal


“If He Can Do It, I Can Do Anything” says North Korean spokesperson for Slim Fast, Kim Jong-un, upon hearing of Beetley’s own Grouchy Pete’s second internet championship crown in conquering the CSR Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, news that has ignited spontaneous religious fervor around the globe now that proof has conclusively arrived that both Pigs Can Fly and Hell Will, indeed, Freeze Over.  In an unrelated story, during his annual nightly state cocktail bash (see above) Canadian Prime Minister Justin “Bieber” Trudeau acknowledges the accomplishment of his English ally from across the pond  with the stirring pronouncement: “Huh? Who?”

  Supposed Ex-Royal Interloper Meghan              Stews at Attention Grabbing Moose                           Stalker From Beetley

 Reported to Have Asked “Grandmummy” to Declare                           War on “Inconvenient” Town

     Creating the greatest furor on American soil since the early 60’s arrival of the Fab Four, and generating more bipartisan support to keep out an objectionable foreign personage since the War of 1812, Beetley’s own Grouchy Pete has succeeded in solving the CSR Classic Film Images Photo Quiz for the second time in the past year, a suspicious action which has tweaked the interest of Scotland Yard, Interpol and an anonymous Deep State informant known only as “Ollie”. Though resisted by both Conservative and Labour leaders, members of the newly formed Libation Party have petitioned for the transplanted Londoner, who is affectionately referred to by Beetley townsfolk as “that crank who complains about the weather” to be recognized for his elevation in the nation’s stature in useless information with the bestowing of an OBE, though due to a clerical error, his nomination was sent to an OBGYN, though through an abundance of fortunate circumstances, it appears that it is now entirely permissible to address the Beetley quiz whiz as Dame Pete. Honorariums also include a special edition of the CSR Culture Shock Award (see below), bestowed exclusively upon those select few who have determined that the very turning of the Earth is so bereft of meaning (I hope all of this sterling analysis is appreciated as it’s resulting in an existential hand cramp.) that they need a second crack at this substantial yet trivial pursuit. Congratulations.


About chandlerswainreviews

I've been a puppet, a pirate, a pauper, a poet, a pawn and a king, not necessarily in that order. My first major movie memory was being at the drive-in at about 1 1/2 yrs. old seeing "Sayonara" so I suppose an interest in film was inevitable. (For those scoring at home- good for you- I wasn't driving that evening, so no need to alert authorities.)Writer, critic and confessed spoiler of women, as I have a tendency to forget to put them back in the refrigerator. My apologies.
This entry was posted in Boston, Movies, photography, politics, psychiatry, Puzzles and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Beetley Brit Brings Brutal Beatdown in Bi-Coastal Braintease Bacchanal

  1. Well done sir, I suppose, Not really sure what this is all about – a good metaphor for life, really …

  2. beetleypete says:

    Reblogged this on beetleypete and commented:
    I just had to reblog this strange news report from America. It seems I have had the good fortune to crack Chandler’s quiz on not one, but two occasions. That will of course be of little interest to anyone other than stay at home film buffs like myself, but it is some sort of achievement
    I think.

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