Dear Cinema Santa: 2018 Edition

 

gloriainexcelsisdeo

You too would be exclaiming Gloria in excelsis deo if you found this sleepy little elf left under your Christmas tree.

       Dear Cinema Santa:  2018 Edition

    Once again dear friends (and you folks in Vermont) it is that time to weigh in on the past year’s accumulation of greedy impulses and dissatisfaction with the world of movies with our Dear Cinema Santa Wish List, an annual tradition here at CSR in which we ask for very little and expect to receive even less. 

Animated Gif Christmas (384)We are quite fed up with the Criterion Collection’s more recent lapses in judgment by ignoring truly interesting films and instead featuring the promotion of undeniable trash (“Valley of the Dolls”? Really?). So, here are a few titles that we are still asking for in case anyone is listening: Barbara Loden’s “Wanda”, Joseph Losey’s “The Go-Between”, Giuseppe Patroni Griffi’s “‘Tis Pity She’s a Whore”, Ken Russell’s “The Boy Friend”, Solanas and Getino’s “The Hour of the Furnaces”, Jean Eustache’s “The Mother and the Whore”, Bo Widerberg’s “Joe Hill” and “Man on the Roof”, Michael Ritchie’s “The Candidate” and perhaps Eclipse box sets featuring the films of Mai Zetterling and Susan Sontag.

Animated Gif Christmas (384)More movie theaters and fewer community performance centers. The trend toward non-profit groups buying out abandoned old movie theaters and restoring them is something that CSR can’t help but find commendable. However, instead of being used as a film venue as intended, most are converted into performance arts centers which, more often than not, play host to Mrs. Hastings’ 3rd grader production of “The Night of the Iguana”. At least the wrecking ball ends the suffering quickly.

Animated Gif Christmas (384)The end of useless, endless and needlessly expensive political campaigns. Instead, let all of the prospective candidates show their mettle by pursuing their office as the prize of a giant road race, with inauguration papers hidden under a “Big WH”. 

To read the complete wish list, click the following link to:  https://chandlerswainreviews.wordpress.com/the-film-vault-index-of-reviewed-films/ho-ho-ho-happy-holidays-from-the-critical-establishment/

 

 

 

 

 

About chandlerswainreviews

I've been a puppet, a pirate, a pauper, a poet, a pawn and a king, not necessarily in that order. My first major movie memory was being at the drive-in at about 1 1/2 yrs. old seeing "Sayonara" so I suppose an interest in film was inevitable. (For those scoring at home- good for you- I wasn't driving that evening, so no need to alert authorities.)Writer, critic and confessed spoiler of women, as I have a tendency to forget to put them back in the refrigerator. My apologies.
This entry was posted in art house cinema, blogging, Boston, Christmas, holidays, humor, Mai Zetterling., Movies, theater, vermont, women, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Dear Cinema Santa: 2018 Edition

  1. Alex Good says:

    I think the “S” rating for Stupid would almost be redundant at this point. Santa might have to rank the amount of stupid, so that some movies could be NTS (Not Too Stupid) while others would be XS (Extremely Stupid) or just WTF?

  2. I’m IN on the road race! It’s as good a political check as anything else is these days. At least it means the “candidate” has the balls to fight for it on the road.

  3. beetleypete says:

    I thought for a moment that this was a quiz about films featuring Santa. It was with great relief that I followed the link to your laudable wish list. I can happily agree with everything you asked for. 🙂
    Especially those ‘Community Cinemas’ that never show any films!
    (An ‘Art Installation’ featuring coloured lights switching on and off is NOT a film. They should know that.)
    Best wishes, Pete.

    • I was in Washington D.C. a few years ago and there was a theater restored beautifully by a supposed nonprofit group. The conditions for renting the theater for an event involved a staggering amount of fees that made any enterprise cost prohibitive. On top of that, they also took a cut of the box office with the percentage increasing exponentially as you sold more tickets. I calculated that if you rented the theater for a one night event and it was a success you’d have to file for bankruptcy to break even. Ridiculous.

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