And a Little Child Shall Lead Them: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, May 2018 Edition, Vol. K – 6
Why does it seem that the very idea of “good”children has been abandoned? The bawling spoiled moppets who pollute every public venue, turning both suburban and urban life into a teeth grinding endurance test of strained patience and an increasingly rueful realization that perhaps we should have voted for those candidates who promoted the idea of a return of corporal punishment by the reestablishment of island penal colonies (All hail Papillon!), are hardly children in the actual sense (keenly curious, bright as a penny and cute as a button) but are, in actuality, merely homunculi versions of those loutish, sociopathic hillbillies who call themselves their parents, who themselves can be more accurately described as “those who procreate only because they’re too stupid not to”. If this sounds unforgiving to some, just imagine if this horrid progeny were to become a nuclear power and you might understand our desire for a healthy supply of toddler-sized shackles. (A recent unpleasantness on an Amtrak train involving a “precocious” five year old kicking the back of my seat inspired thoughts as to the viability of twenty third trimester abortions.) Fortunately, certain movies have been invaluable in providing nostalgic succor in documenting the halcyon days of a more idealized family structure in which the children were more innocent (and interesting) than their current status as the familial smartass who seems to be modelled on tiresome foul-mouthed burlesque comics. Which brings us to this month’s edition of everyone’s favorite mental teething ring, the Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you by those fine distributors of SKITTLES, America’s favorite oral suppository. In this edition, we celebrate the many faces of children as seen in the movies. Your task is correctly identify the twenty five film from which the images were sourced. The first to do so will eventually receive the coveted and politically incorrect CSR Culture Shock Award. Good luck.