Black Gowns Matter: Hollywood Explains It All To You
Ah, the Golden Globe Awards, that monument to critical integrity that once put Pia Zadora on the map by way of the deep pocket resources of the reckless Riklis empire plying the open mouths and greedy hands of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, that covert roster of carhops, failed escorts, personal trainers and fugitives from ICE, who determined that her stunning demonstration of the thespian art in the cinematic masterwork “Butterfly” (co-starring a beyond redemption Orson Welles, whose participation should have found him stripped of all career encomia and summarily beaten with the lost reels of “The Magnificent Ambersons”) was worthy of the bestowing of the title “New Star of the Year”.
In this year’s evening of inebriation masquerading as philosophical profundity, the Golden Globe Awards celebrated the “Year of the Pissed Off B-List Actresses Fondled and Abused By the Best Friends of the Awards Industry Again Silenced, Supplanted and Left In the Dust By the Elite Meryl Streep Sewing Circle Who Knew It Was All Going On But Didn’t Want to Be Left Off of the V.I.P. Party List But Who, Nevertheless, Will Act Appropriately Outraged Damaged Anyway” with the evening presented with a special level of irony (lost, of course, on guess who?) as Hollywood chose to address the serious issue of the sexual harassment of women (one of the few products which Hollywood, ironically, has been historically successful at churning out year after year) by emphasizing their own silicon enhanced golden globes in ill-fitting open chested evening wear, but entirely in black so you know they are a serious social revolutionaries. (What??) If one were to take this same coterie of …
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