If I Fell: Classic Film Images Photo Quiz; March 2017 Edition, Vol. 543210
If life teaches us anything, it is that gravity is not our friend (neither are silly award show envelope fumbling accountants [Fake News Encounters of the Streepian Kind] nor certain Massachusetts senators of the female persuasion for whom the idea of a daily dose of a knapsack full of Prozac might be a practical idea), as it is an uncooperative force of nature, especially when you find your bowl of soup slopping all over that nice clean pair of spats. Still, the very existence of Newton’s Law of Universal Gravitation (Written subsequent to his Law of Unentitled Gratification, which states: “never take ‘personal’ reverse mortgage advice from a celebrity shill whose own annual income exceeds eight figures”) which persists in allowing deplorable oak trees to bounce acorns off of your beanie, is enough to make one presume partisan Divine intervention (Though, surely, there must be some Minority Leader Munchausen Chorus who insist upon a conspiratorial link within the fictitious but still highly Rosie-flammable Russian/Trump/Wolf connection), unless one is ready to concede the existence of a vast cadre of malicious squirrels who make sport of bombardier targeting the human cranium. With this in mind, we present this month’s edition of America’s favorite deregulated pastime, the Classic Film Images Photo Quiz, brought to you by those fascinating folk who sell and distribute nickel bags of SKITTLES, America’s most addictive breakfast candy. In this edition we celebrate (or, at least, find an excuse for another puzzle comprised of stills with a suspiciously shallow connection) the physical act of uncontrollably moving rapidly in southern direction in the movies. The following twelve images each feature a cinema scene in which the featured player is in the act of, precipitating the act of, or reacting to the act of falling, with subsequent results ranging from a boo boo to a crushing cessation of the vitals. (Curtains, pal.) Your job, is to create imaginary chalk outlines around the characters and swiftly, cleanly and painlessly identify from which twelve films these images have been lifted. The first to correctly identify all twelve will receive the gluten free CSR Culture Shock Award, more prized than any Chinese endangered species-based aphrodisiac, and without the vulgar aftertaste. Good luck.